What's Up?

Me...I dare say I am back to my snarky, spirited self and I have just a few things to say. You listening?

1. Why and how do children wake up talking loudly and incessantly? I tell ya as soon as T. Bone crawls out of bed the noise begins and it doesn't stop ALL DAY LONG! I had a serious Calgon moment this morning when he was watching You Tube videos of other people playing Rock Band, while Miss Bit was watching Curious George in the same room and the family room television was tuned in to the news, which I couldn't follow if I wanted to.
2. I didn't really want to though because the story was once again about Tiger Woods and his fender bender. Seriously? Leave the "perfect" family alone to recover from his indiscretion, her outburst and wait for the chickie la la to write her tell all. As soon as I heard she lawyered up with Gloria Allred, I made my mind up. I cannot get over the irony though that the weapon was his very own golf club! That's poetic justice. Who doesn't love a strong, sassy viking woman who doesn't take any sh#!?
3. It's December 1st and I have to attend my first Christmas party of the season. Really? It's supposed to be a balmy 50 degrees today and it's a Tuesday people! I'm not thinking about yuletide or hot toddies or decking any halls! The problem is that I hemmed and hawed for the last few weeks trying to come up with a believable exuse, and now that I actually have one I'm so not believable, and so I HAVE TO GO. Then I HAVE TO come home and take down all the window treatments in our house in preparation for the new windows that are being installed tomorrow.
4. Why oh why did I agree to this major home project just weeks before Christmas? I basically have to spend the day housebound when I have like a million things to do! I really wish that I would have thought of that when I was sulking around here the whole of last weekend. I laughed out loud like a toothless, crazy person when I heard that it may snow on Thursday. Does Mother Nature not know who she is dealing with here?
5. Can you tell me why people whom you have chosen not to "befriend" on Facebook, humiliate themselves time and time again by sending additional "friend" requests? I was not a mean girl in high school, and I refuse to be one now, yet some people leave me no choice.
6. Isn't it false advertising to say "Biggest Sale of the Season" multiple times in the same season? Why can't retailers just charge reasonable, fair prices all the time so as to keep consumers from behaving like looters, brutes or rabid dogs? I am almost thinking about boycotting Toys R Us for putting that crappy plastic Barbie Townhouse on the cover of this weekend's flyer for Miss Bit to see. I tried explaining to her that the thing practically costs as much as a monthly mortgage, and yet it's not made of brick, wood or even straw. she just looked at me with a salacious twinkle in her eye and said, "Well, I just know Santa's going to bring it for me and I am so excited!" What?! If she gets it, she is so going to be playing with Barbies until she leaves for college!
7. My heart is warmed by Miss Bit's compassion and empathy for others, but I'm a little at my wits end. I was watching the beginning of this season's Biggest Loser while I was on the treadmill yesterday and she got sucked in. It came to the weigh in and she starts bawling uncontrollably. I was worried that she didn't understand what was going on. That this contestant was going home to her family not to prison, or a work camp. Then she stopped sobbing long enough to ask, "But how's she gonna get healthy if she has to go home?" The light bulb went on in my head. I can use this people. I served her pasta with a side salad and steamed brocoli for dinner last night and she wondered, "Why 2 vegetables?" All I had to say was, "Remember Biggest Loser?" It was a beautiful teachable moment!