weekending

The weekend was high on emotion...missing my mom, reuniting with Ted, celebrating my dad, saying goodbye to Teddy again.

Saturday was my mom's birthday. The last one we celebrated with her here was the big 6-0. It is a day etched indelibly in my heart and mind. I purposefully made few plans for what is usually a melacholy day for me. I woke early, spent a solid chunk of quiet time, and then was visited by a friend who came with a trinket that would only become more important as the day wore on. It was a lovely silver and orange enamel dish in the shape of a pumpkin because pumpkins always remind her of McGurk. They remind her of my mom because she restored an orange 70s VW Beetle with a black convertible top and naturally her name was Pumkin. We had lots of fun in that car all through high school and beyond.

My brother and my husband left early Saturday morning for Madison for a visit with T Bone and a very good football game.I was grateful for the many texts and pictures I got throughout the day of my guys together having fun. Mike sent me a text during the game to tell me that Kathy's song was on at Camp Randall. Earth Wind and Fire's The 21st Night of September was playing at the game at the exact same time it was playing in my kitchen. Coincidence? Kismet? All I know is that the synchronicity of that audible message spoke volumes to my heart. There are some things I seek not to explain.

Mass was comforting especially when my aunt appeared in the foyer as we were sneaking out. You see it's not her church...she ended up there...then...randomly, and yet I beg to differ. She heard my mom's name read and then looked for us in the crowd very much feeling that we would be there. We all felt that there was some divine intervention involved.

After church, Lily and I went for an early dinner at Pizza Man so I could have my escargot. Her Caesar salad was better, but I enjoyed our time there together. As we left and were walking to our car, a orange bug with a black top drove by. It's not a car you see every day, but I wasn't the least bit surprised I crossed paths with it this day. In fact the sighting filled me with abundant joy and I know I embarrassed Lily a little when I ran down the street to get a picture of it, yet she understood. She knows me.

We took the long way home along the lake and then veered off to see Nanny's house. I almost knocked on the door to ask for a tour, but that would have been the end of Lil. It was a good day. A good night. I went to bed feeling only a little bit sad, but mostly grateful that I felt close to my mom all day and excited for more family time Sunday.

I was up early again Sunday and got right to baking my dad's birthday cake which just happened to be my Grandma Rosie's family favorite banana cake with cream cheese frosting. I made it my own by topping it with a rich chocolate ganache and lots of chopped walnuts. It's all gone. It was good.

The boys were planning to golf before our gathering, but the weather had other plans. Instead they played poker and took breaks to watch the Packer game and do Ted's laundry for the first time since he's left home. It was a family affair. He's a lucky guy. Grandma kept him in snacks all afternoon long.

We all enjoyed the ode to summer dinner: roasted chicken, pulled pork, sweet corn and potatoes. Teddy maybe most of all. He put in his order with Grandpa for breakfast Monday morning before he returns him to Madison. A breakfast request is the way to Grandpa's heart.

It was so good to see Ted's face, give him a hug, catch up on his life, send him back with a stash (a bag full of clean laundry, more boxers, a peck of apples and a few other things). I think the cutest thing was when he tried to greet Lil with knocks and she said, Oh no you don't...I need a hug. Ted obliged with a shy smile. At the end of the night they were sharing the same couch and her legs were draped over his. Be still my heart. They miss each other.

I cried as we drove down my dad's driveway having to say goodbye to Ted again, but I know we're Madison bound for a visit in a couple weeks and then before long he'll be home for Thanksgiving break.

And yet, I'm not speeding the plow, wishing my life away. I think we're all in a good place. I'd like to linger here awhile.

 

Happy Birthday Mom!

My first thought upon waking was not that I should be calling you first thing to wish you a happy 71st birthday. It was my second or third thought. That's progress. Or else it's the insulation of elapsed time. It's unfathomable that you've been gone for almost eleven years.

You're gone. You are not forgotten. I think of you most everyday. A song will come on or a hummingbird will visit my strepto carpella and I'll feel you near. Last weekend Mike and I sat in the yard after dark and we heard owls calling. That's rare in these parts. We toasted you. Teddy gathered up a handful of heart shaped rocks while we were at Webb Lake, a place you've never been and yet a place I very much feel you, and he gave them to me. He knows how much I love them. Your legacy lives on.

Some people don't understand the signs and signals I speak of. I am open about my feelings and beliefs with regard to the gossamer thin veil between life and death...between you and me. It's the only way I'm upright and moving forward.

I just sent my brother and husband off for a visit to Madison. It's a beautiful almost fall day...a perfect football Saturday. The Badgers play Michigan today. Two top 15 Big Ten teams is a good game. Teddy sold his ticket because he was able to pay for the whole rest of the season with its asking price. If you were here, you'd buy him another. Brad just might. If you were here, we'd all be going to the game dressed in red. You'd spoil Teddy and all his friends. The boys plan to do that so don't worry: pre-game, post-game and breakfast tomorrow too. Teddy is beyond excited. So are Nay Nay and John. Brad promised to give you a proper birthday toast. You'll love it.

Lily and I will be attending the mass said for you today at our church. It's where I need to be for many reasons.We'll light candles and feel God's grace and hopefully leave feeling a little closer to you too. We have plans for an early dinner. I'm lobbying for Pizza Man so I can have our escargot. It's back on the menu. I checked. We'll toast you too.

And as I'm sitting here ready to sign off, Earth Wind and Fire's Hearts Afire just came on and I just know that it cannot be a coincidence. Thank you for that Mom!

I love you and I miss you, but then you know that.

Krissy

August Was...

Not long enough. Here and gone all too soon. Summer too for that matter. That's always the case, but this summer especially so as I knew at the end of it, Ted would be leaving home. It was a struggle to be in the moment and not spring too far ahead or get stuck in my head. I'm happy to say I was mostly successful. The piece de resistance of summer 2019 was our week at Webb Lake. It was our best trip to this magical place yet, and the other visits were hard to top.

As we made the turn onto the half mile private drive and drove through the forest to the lake, I immediately felt peace come over me. The knotty pine house is lived in, not fancy, and perfectly appointed for our group of family and friends. Nine of us this time. A good group.

After unloading our cars, Ted and his buddies went to play tennis and then ping pong in the aire libre. Lily and Isabel headed down to the lake for a swim and they were the first in the hot tub too. Mike and I also went for a beautiful swim while we waited for Brad and Ashley to arrive. We grilled burgers to order for dinner, which was served at 9:30. That was par for the course all week. The guys played Black Jack after dinner. I overheard my brother's toast from the hot tub. Questionable words of wisdom for three college bound boys.

Here's to being single, seeing double and sleeping triple.

Tequila may have been involved. All week my brother offered up advice for the boys. Nathan dutifully took notes on his phone and promised to read them daily. It became known as Brad's Manifesto. I hope to publish a copy.

The hot tub was a steamy 104 degrees so the girls made a run for the lake to cool off. One of my other favorite things at Webb Lake is night swimming under a sky full of stars.We had an almost full moon too. The water was beautiful. The four of us declared ourselves fierce for taking the plunge in the inky water.

We ended the night with hot cookies out of the oven and big glasses of milk, oh and a surprise firecracker that we are lucky didn't burn the house down. Fireworks made a nightly and sometimes daily appearance. Funcle Brad bought such a haul that they had little room for much else.

I slept soundly through the overnight storm exhausted after the full day and cozy in my bed in the house in the woods. I was the first one up so I made my way to the screen porch on the cool, cloudy morning. It wasn't long before a hummingbird appeared. First I heard her wings and then I heard her chirp. That was a first for me. Eventually everyone got up. The boys played pool and started a puzzle, the girls were making bracelets, Mike was gassing up the boat (he ran out of gas picking the boys up from the sand bar the day before and they had to paddle back), B & A headed to town to get jet skis, and I went for some exercise. I made three trips up and down the private drive. During the first loop I just listened to the birds and the wind through the trees. The second I cried. On the third, I put on tunes, found a heart shaped rock and sang along to Landslide out loud. I felt like a new person when I returned. I was lighter. Time away from everyday life offers the space to hear, see and feel the things we pay little attention to when we are consumed with the daily grind. It's one more thing that I love about this place.

I was lighter until I filled up on the hot pizzas my bro and sil came home with. It was a choppy day on the lake, which was fine for tubing. All the kids took turns. The girls screamed the whole time they were on, but rumor has it that one of them did lose their suit. What happens at Webb Lake stays at Webb Lake. Teddy and Cole both went water skiing and before we knew it, it was happy hour. Another favorite at Webb Lake. Ashley was the mixologist with her Vitamix this year. She whipped up concoctions for all ages every night. We played some cards and then went for a pre-dinner soak and dip at my brother's insistence.

It was a group effort to get the fajitas to the table. Everyone was famished after all the activity of the day. After dinner, the three amigos headed to the hot tub with a bottle of Kendall Jackson that they finished in like 10 minutes. The big boys put on an awesome fireworks show for dessert and then the nine of us gathered around the table again for funny game of Meme. Earlier in the day, Mike edited the cards. Cole won. Finally, Gratefully. We were all exhausted. It was time for bed. I managed a chapter before falling asleep only to be woken when it sounded like the boys were going to come through the floor above me. I texted them to settle down and they did. The wonders of technology. It was 1 a.m. They were still feeling the affects of the bottle of wine I surmise.

I woke Monday morning to the smell of coffee and was ready for a cuppa my brother's jet fuel. This is pancake morning. Teddy and Cole promised to make their "world famous" banana chocolate chip pancakes for all of us. And I have to confess I'm not a pancake girl, but these were quite delicious. It was another full-on lake day. The jet skis arrived and they got maximum use. All the kids loved hot dogging on them. Honestly though, I'm a big chicken. I felt like 25 mph was too fast. I prefer to float on the tube tethered to the pier and soak up the sun. That's my speed. When the bald eagles fly overhead, I couldn't be anymore blissed out. And we spot them all day. Every day. Some of us enjoyed happy hour on a cruise around the lake. We bring back Navy Seals. The 4 adults jump off the slow moving boat in the middle of the lake to complete our mission. Don't try this at home. The girls were waiting on the pier for us wishing they had come along for the ride. Next time. Family style homemade spaghetti and meatballs, buttery garlic bread and a big salad hit the spot as did the delicious Chianti Mike picked up at Wayne's earlier in the day. It was a quiet night in the cabin. We retired to the great room for a sparsely attended showing of It. All attendees fell asleep. Before going to bed, I secured all the doors and windows.

  

On Tuesday Uncle Brad took the three amigos to golf. They were up and off early. 6:00 a.m. and they were able to get in 9 before the skies unleashed quite a deluge. I enjoyed my coffee along with the thunder and lightning show. The girls got out my paints and we engaged in what I consider the perfect rainy morning activity. We all enjoyed Mike's camel's eyes for a late breakfast and then the boys waited out the rain while watching The Breakfast Club. It ended up being another great lake day. The jet skis were on the water all day again. I think the girls love them best. Lily is absolutely fearless. Isabel likes it when Lily drives and she rides tandem. There was more tubing...Uncle Brad style today and skiing too. We ended the day with another cocktail cruise this time with the ladies. The three amigos stayed home to make dough for pizza night. We took the plunge at the sand bar. When we returned, we put on loud tunes and all got to work getting the pizzas ready for dinner. Not much had been accomplished in our absence. Then it was time for another festival worthy fireworks display. Cole and Nay Nay have to leave Wednesday to get ready for college so Brad gave them a proper send off. The adults hit the hot tub, the girls curled up on the couches to watch Open Water  and the boys retreated up to their suite.

  

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I wake up Wednesday at almost exactly my time of birth to another beautiful day at Webb Lake. I have zero qualms about this milestone because I am here with them and there's no place I'd rather be. Life is good. The day is too. It goes like this:

Read and write with the hummingbirds (yes, plural today), walk 3 miles back and forth along the private road, return home in time for a delicious breakfast of eggs Benedict lovingly prepared by my sister in law complete with hollandaise and a bloody. That's followed by a nap in the sun on the pier during which I can hear all my peeps all around me. I take another ride on the Sea Doo and this time I decide to get it up to 50 in honor of my age. Fifty and almost fearless. Afternoon soak in the hot tub and then a game of Rummy with my bro and sil, which I badly lose. Later I traipse all over Ted in Boggle. I enjoy the gloaming on the pier alone for a few minutes to take stock and give thanks. My peeps prepared quite the feast while I lingered in the hot tub and then the shower. They serve up lobster tails and perfectly grilled steaks, twice baked taters and fresh green beans. Teddy is a fan of the red wine. So much so that he drank mine after he finished his. We had laughs going around the table telling stories about me. Honorable mentions were "This is BIG BOY seasoning!" and the "rager" I threw on Kensington Street. Thanks bro! Later we went around the table telling stories of times we were most scared. Apparently, Teddy remembers almost drowning when he was three. Teddy should have told the story about his dad parking the sea doo earlier. The night could not have been any better except then we had chocolate cake the girls made with butter pecan ice cream and glasses of Veuve. The bubbly opened all by itself and we all agreed that Nanny was in the house. The cards made me cry the sweetest tears and the gifts were all perfectly thoughtful, Even Teddy's box full of heart rocks. He forgot his gift under the bed so he went out in search of hearts for me. I tell ya, I felt the love.

  

  

  

  

I slept in a bit on the cool, cloudy Thursday morning. My sleep was fitful the night before. I spent the wee hours worrying about all that's too come when we get home. It's a lazy cabin morning. Brad and Ted are golfing. The rest of us retreated to our own corners of the house. Mike and I finally motivated for a little tennis. We played a good 6-3 match. I'm good and sweaty so I took the kayak out for a ride along the shore and then I took a dip in lake. The water was Heaven, but the air brisk. The 104 degree hot tub beckoned. Eventually we all gathered around the table on the deck for a game day - another Webb Lake Favorite. We played Wizard, Pictionary and Boggle. The boys vs girls were two time Pictionary champs defying gender bias. Dinner was a mash up. We're at that point in the vacation where it's time to clean out the refrig. Unfortunately, we needed to make one more run to the Main Store as we're out of two essentials: coffee and vodka. No bueno. My brother, my husband and a bottle of Jameo burned the midnight oil. They were up past 2. When I wake Friday morning, I'm beyond grateful I did an Irish goodbye. 

  

   

Friday is the last day and in its honor we declare we must do everything, and we succeed. It is a full day of skiing and tubing and swimming bookended between kayaking and walking in the woods and hot tubing. A few games of pool and a little puzzling thrown in for good measure. We have boat drinks and a cocktail cruise with the eagles and loons. We play more Rummy and eat more left overs. And yes, at the end of the night there are more fireworks.

   

  

Saturday we spent the morning packing up to head home to real life. Of course, I'd like this week to last longer, but I can say that it lingered in the best of ways. It didn't speed by because we were present. I was also grateful for every minute, sunset, eagle sighting, hummingbird visit, toast, hug, story told, memory made. And I know we'll be back likely as soon as next summer.