Clearly yesterday was a difficult day. As I confessed, I'm struggling with a relationship I hold dear. It's making me question many things. This is uncomfortable, raw and messy. But I only cried once yesterday. I lost it at work. I lost it because my friend was barraged with bad news after bad news over the weekend. She learned of numerous people in need of prayers. Numerous people in critical situations. I was overwhelmed by how selfish I have been wallowing in my self pity. My suffering is not life or death.
This realization shifted my focus to say the least, but not as much as the letter Miss Bit handed me after dinner. She passed me a note to tell me that she needed to talk to me about something that was bothering her. She had my full attention. We sat together at the kitchen table and had a heart to heart. Something is really on her mind. Has been for months. It's serious, especially to her, and private so I must respect her wishes to keep confidence. I listened. I consoled. I reasoned and now I must ask for help. I need help because I just don't know how to make things better for her. She agreed that I can talk to someone...a professional. Seeing her pained is my very worst torture.
After our talk, she felt better. Relieved. She sang in the shower and even told me how happy she was. She laughed and smiled all the way to bed. I know I'd feel the same way if only I could talk to my mom right now. And in that moment I realized exactly where my energy has got to be squarely focused. Suddenly my own sorrows seem self-indulgent and silly.