Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Mid-Week Meditation

Yesterday left me feeling a little out of sorts so I'm thankful for the fresh start of a new day even if it is only 9 degrees out and I'm sitting here wearing my winter hat in the house. I have no idea how I'm going to dress for the walk I am going to take very soon. At this moment, I'm watching the little red squirrel dominate the buffet, and I'm pretty sure that he's going to eat his weight in challah before he's through. He is the definition of tyrant and he has a major Napolean Complex. A fat coyote just ran along the treeline of the yard towards the river. This is the way I like to start my day...writing, purging, caffeinating, communing from the kitchen table that is my office.

Yesterday, it just started off strangely. I went into work and Tuesdays are usually work around the home days so right there I was off. When I came home, I baked a batch of cookies that basically became my dinner with a side of spinach. Sugar for dinner and no exercise is not good for the blues, or more like the blahs. I let the kids lick the beater and bowl right before dinner if that is any indication of just how blaze' I was really feeling. Then Miss Bit was slyly sneaking a cookie warm out of the oven just as a poorly wrapped container of salsa flew off the shelf in the fridge and all over me and the kitchen. I erupted at her even though the mess was entirely an accident at my own hands, and she stormed off hurt and crying, "I can't do anything right!" That was, indeed, the lowest point of my day. It jolted me back to reality...I quickly apologized to her and we both felt a little better. I went on to spend way too much time checking out The Nesters holiday home tour when I had...have...a billion other things to do. I was captivated by the simple, natural decorations...the mixture of various greens, candles in mercury glass vases and simple white accents. Thankfully, I was interrupted when I got a phone call from my Mom's aunt. She received our Christmas card. She called me last year too very touched that I remembered her over the holidays. How could I not....she was my Mom's favorite aunt. She made me chuckle when she told me that we looked like beautiful movie stars in our photo. We played a family game of Skip Bo when the boys came home from Scouts that led to too many raised voices and more bickering than I like to hear at any time of year. During dinner, the day's Advent prompt was to share something we could do to show appreciation this week for each member of the family. T. Bone promised (after my prompting) that he would talk nicer to his sister. Miss Bit promised not to fight with her brother. Poor attitudes, broken Advent promises and all...still the game seemed better than the second half of Christmas Vacation, but that's really what T. Bone and Miss Bit wanted to be doing...watching the movie that is. It reminds me of when my Dad sent me out of the room during THE scene every one covers their eyes for in The Exorcist. I snuck around the corner trying to catch a glimpse of the forbidden. Things finally felt right when I settled in to read a bedtime story with Miss Bit and we made a pledge sealed with a pinky promise to read a different Christmas story every night before bed. We used to start that tradition the first of the month. December...where oh where have you gone? I took away a much needed lesson from that myself: it's really never too late to start, to try, to say, to do. After our story time, I went in to snuggle beside T. Bone while he read his latest Wimpy Kid and I read Mitten Strings For God. That was really so very nice for us both.

That was yesterday.

Today...today I'm going to be more present with myself and in harmony with those around me. This Katrina Kenison tidbit is resonating with me. I'm going to let it shape my day.


Certainly when we are living and working in harmony with others, when our days have a shape and a purpose that flows into a larger whole, when we feel rooted in a place and in touch with the natural world around us, we feel safe and secure. Children who grow up in such an atmosphere know what it is to be grounded in themselves and to feel at home in the world. But it is a challenge for us to incorporate rhythm into our daily lives. To do, we must commit ourselves to order and routine; to a slower, more deliberate pace; to intention rather than happenstance.

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