Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Empty Nest

I was listening to the news this morning while I made breakfasts and lunches.  Miss Bit was extra chipper and alert because she is on her way to the state capital today with her fourth grade class.  All of the sudden she shot out of her seat and shouted with outrage, "Oh no! Squirrels were kidnapped!"  I set her straight and told her that girls were kidnapped.  Nigerian girls.  She calmed just a little and admitted she didn't want girls to be kidnapped any more than squirrels.  I laughed and made light of it because I didn't want her spending the hour and a half bus ride worrying about atrocities on another continent.  What is she going to do without me to gloss over the news someday?  What am I going to do without her?

I'm 99 percent certain T. Bone grew again overnight.  His face is more angular and he is hungry all the time.  Ravenous.  One of these mornings I won't be surprised if he eats a whole pan of cinnamon rolls and greets me with a changing voice.  He went through three sets of pants this winter because they became floods.  I'm grateful he's a healthy growing boy, but I cannot deny that I feel it is all going too fast.

I relish the comfort I feel when I wake in the middle of the night and know that my children are safely sleeping down the hall.  I cannot fathom the torment a mother must feel to not know where her children are, or that they are safe.  My heart aches for those Nigerian women.  When my children go out into the world, they are much safer than many children around the globe, and yet there are dangers always and everywhere.  That's the hardest part about motherhood for me...knowing I can't always protect them and won't always be able to tuck them in at night.