Monday, May 26, 2014

2 day pass

one memorial day weekend behind us and 12 days of school ahead of us.
summer starts in 25 days!
never mind that every one of my senses was tricked this weekend into believing it was already here.
the neighborhood came alive with the sound of children's laughter, the near constant drone of lawnmowers and birdsong that sounded from dawn to dusk.
i saw miss bit's bleeding heart grow overnight, an oriole streak through the yard, a palm-sized baby bunny take cover under the leaf of a hosta, and neighbors i forgot we had.
depending on the time of day, the smell of fresh-cut grass or grilled meats permeated the air.
and what didn't we grill?
we tasted the season's first all beef dogs, sticky bbq chicken and a batch of harp burgers, which were served with an around the world smorgasbord of sides...
another batch of tomatillo salsa, a new twist on hummus and my easy peasy caprese dip.
and simple salads like a mediterranean chick pea number and a caesar pasta salad that could, should and will be a meal unto itself.
i felt melancholy as i'm prone to do when something is ending for another beginning.
i found myself missing my mom much more than usual.
i had a moment at a gathering where i was sitting around this table and i wondered who these people i know so long are.
it was startling.
saddening too.
i also realized that i can be my pared down, true self with only a trusted few.
of course, my mom was in that cherished company.
the result of my somber mood was that i was not very lovely company.
good thing housework and yard work aren't discerning.
i felt conflicted about pouring so much energy into working all weekend long, but it is one of our only tournament-free weekends, and so we do what we must do.
i got a little taste for the impending need for strict screen time limits once the days open up like route 66.
the kids would go out for a bike ride, or a ball game and then come in and get sucked back to the world of mine craft like they had no choice or chance at resistance.
it's a phenomenon the likes of which i've never before encountered.
i demanded a movie night because we were too plum tired to play games.
we decided on the book thief  at my strong urging.
miss bit was the only one to stay awake for the entire movie, but i read the book.
we were both heavy hearted by the end of it all.
yet i woke up this morning feeling sunnier despite the cloud cover (go figure), less porous and lighter.
we stayed close to home again today.
more work, a sweaty walk, a couple play dates and finally family dinner.
delish pulled pork tonight spice rubbed and slow cooked all afternoon long.
it will be a short week, but still full.
and still i am searching for the pause button.