Monday, May 12, 2014

2 day pass

this weekend was both bitter and sweet.
it is lovely to be extra appreciated by my children and my husband...
yet my heart breaks open again and anew at the remembrance that i am now motherless.
but because i have come to know this precarious juxtaposition of feeling simultaneously blessed and robbed,
i brace myself for the joy and the melancholy...
and truth be told, they are there in most moments and every day.
you know...the heart aches, races and soars in the course of one single hour.
well, at least mine does.
but for the wonder of being a mama to my cherished two, i feel like i have done and am doing something right.
to read the words they put down on paper for and about me, is really the best gift.
another sweet sentiment from the one who made me a mother is more fuel in my tank...
coach and i...we're in this together.
we always have been and i know we will continue to be.
everything else is icing on the proverbial cake...
everything like taking miss bit to her first shakespeare was a little much for her, but she was happy that i so enjoyed it.
and i did.
another first: frogging at the singing many frogs and so much noise.
one walk on one of two perfect 70 degree days.
two baseball wins in between musical evening thunderstorms.
an impromptu family bbq that boasted the best burgers not just of the season, but ever according to my dad.
homemade guacamole, cookie bars and a competitive post dinner game of name that tune too.
eleanor and park before bed, and coffee and snuggles in bed on mother's day morn.
being honored by sweet gifts of my favorite things from my family who are my favorite people.
being taken care of...miss bit making me a mom's day breakfast, and coach grilling chicken fajitas for dinner.
everything big and small that make me thankful for the mother i had and the mother i am.