Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

(excerpt from personal journal)


What a difference a day makes.
Just as I suspected and thought I had accepted, my Mom was really holding strong resigned to reach 60 and to plan her send off. Yesterday I noticed even more changes in her. Today she is even less of herself. She is more confused, distant, shaky, despondent, sleepy and she seems plain tired of this demoralizing fight. I cannot say that I blame her, but I can say that I am now absolutely certain that watching her lose her will and succumb to this poison will be harder than anything I have yet endured in my lifetime.
As she was leaving today, Sparkle said, "I'll see you Friday for your shower." My Mom replied, "I'm not sure about that." I'm not sure about that either. I am sure that I am not ready to let her go, but then I'll never be reday for that. Now I know...it is out of our hands.

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