Friday, September 25, 2009

Thursday, September 25, 2008

(Excerpt from personal journal)

Today seems to be starting off the same as yesterday. I am reminded of the cruelty of Groundhog Day. Unfortunately, we are not bracing for a happy ending though. My Mom woke up coughing, took her medication (more and stronger than just a day ago), happily ate every last bite of a long john over the course of half a day, and drank a little coffee (out of a straw now). She is back to sleep as I write, but before she dozed off, I told her that when she is ready to go, she can go knowing that I will always love her and know that she is beside me, and that my brother and I have each other and will be ok. I asked her only that she send me signs from above. She confessed, "I hope I can." We held hands, shared tears and expressed the breadth and depth of our love for one another. I thanked her for always being my rock, and I mustered up the courage to tell her that going through this beside her has been my honor.  She has always taken such good care of me.  I am blessed to be able to take care of her.

The thing is, though...today is really very different than yesterday for I feel that my Mom is very much in a state of transition between the living and the dead. I believe she has had visitors.

I didn't sleep much at all last night despite the fact that I was beyond exhausted. I felt various presences in the room with us and I even sensed energy moving through my body several times. It didn't scare me...I was simply in awe. It felt like an electrical shock. a pulsing, living current. 

My Mom spent much of the night carrying on whispered conversations. I strained to hear what she was saying, but I never could get in on the clandestine conversations.

This morning I said, "Tell me there were angels here last night?" She smirked and said, "If you say so."  Then she winked.

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