Saturday, December 27, 2014

Dear Firstborn Son,

Fourteen years ago to the hour, Dad and I were on our way to the hospital in the midst of a snowstorm excited and a little scared to welcome you.  Excited because we already loved you so.  Scared for the very same reason.  Parenting is a colossal responsibility and an even bigger privilege.  Being a mom is both the most difficult and most rewarding thing I have ever done.  Difficult because I never want to make a mistake.  Rewarding because you love me even when I do.

We'd read all the books and prepared the nursery in the months before your arrival.  Family members stocked our fridge with Christmas leftovers in the days before, and Dad just finished installing our satellite dish a few hours before my water broke on the 26th.  We called Dr. Trebian because that's what they told us to do in birthing class. She told us she'd see us at the hospital and to drive safely.  We did.

We arrived a little after midnight.  Nanny beat us to the hospital and was waiting for us when we arrived.  I didn't quite understand exactly how eager she was at the time, but now I apologize in advance to you that I may do the same thing one day.  My labor was textbook and easy just like my pregnancy.  I got my epidural, relaxed for a few hours and then pushed when the doctor told me to. 

And then you were born on the cold, snowy December morning.  I loved you more than I could fathom in the very moment that I held you and looked into your eyes.  You stopped crying and looked back at me.  It was but an instant, but time stood still.  You were mine.  I was yours.  In that moment, I realized what no doctor, book or grandparent could convey.  I realized what an incredible gift it is to be a be your mother.  Teddy you were the last and best gift of Christmas 2000.  I have cherished being your mom every day since that first.

It seems like yesterday that you were born and now here you are fourteen and in your last year of middle school.  There are so many firsts in your bright future.  Growing up is exciting and hard, but you sure make it look easy for the moment.  You're a natural at life and we are so proud of you. You are an exceptional young man.  Just know that the promise I made to you in the moments after your birth December 27, 2000...the promise to love, protect and celebrate you always...well, that promise will always be true.

I love you T. Bone.  Happy Birthday!