Monday, November 22, 2010

100% GUY'S GUY

If there ever was a shadow of a doubt in the dusty catacombs of my mottled mind, there is no trace of it any longer. It was brought to my attention over and over and over this weekend loud and perfectly clear that my son is turning...or more accurately... has turned into a GUY.
His world has revolved around sports since he could walk. For the record, he skipped crawling and went straight to running at 9 months. Even as a wee one though, his talents were always strongest when playing the games not watching them, betting on them with the other GUYS in his life or exhaustively scouring and studying scads of stats. I discovered that Sports Center is 100 percent responsible for getting him out of bed in a timely manner most mornings. That's right...it has absolutely nothing to do with my warm cooked meals.
When he agreed to dress in "handsome clothes" to escort the girls in the family to the Cirque Saturday afternoon, I knew better than to think I could ask for him to look poised and pleased while I took a picture of him with his sister. Geez...she is after all a girl. I certainly never thought to expect that he'd take off his team fleece in the theater. I knew it would be way too embarrassing to even think of being seen in public wearing something that didn't boast team logos or sayings like just do it. That would be almost as image shattering as having to pose with his arm around his sister. Get it! Got it!


I shouldn't have been the least bit surprised that my guy requested I snap a photo of him with one of his favorite Badger basketball legends. There was also no reason for surprise at the revelation that he was wearing the same Badger shirt he wears every football Saturday beneath his "handsome" shirt and sweater. He is nothing if not a die hard (fanatic) fan, except maybe a little superstitious.

Surely, I didn't expect him to sit at BW3 with his old Mom and little sister looking all nice. I get it...we're not Guys! I think he suggested carryout not wanting to risk being so uncool. But then we stepped inside and there were all those games on all those large screens, and all those orders of hot wings flying out of the kitchen, and all those GUYS cheering and he simply couldn't help himself! (He also couldn't bring himself to put his shirt and sweater on, and worked hard to convince me that it was wise not to given the mess he was about to become. He was 100% right.)
Now, I know he enjoyed the Cirque - especially the Chinese tumbling twins and the triple decker jump ropers even though he's pretty sure he could accomplish the same feats, but I also know that he maybe...just maybe...enjoyed the wings a little more because he couldn't stop singing their praises. From the moment he convinced me to make a stop at THE BW3, he extolled the virtues of the best wings ever. He talked about them all during the meal too. In fact, he's still talking about them. BW3 would be smart to put T. Bone on their pay roll. He's be one heck of a spokesGUY, and maybe I wouldn't begrudge listening to his carrying on if there was something to gain aside from high cholesterol and bad breath. He polished off 10 wings, soiled 10 napkins and sucked down 1 large Mellow Yellow (2 sips per wing he claims...he's got it down to a serious science), and he was happily covered in sauce from ear to ear. He offered me not 1, but 2 wings in exchange for my fries, and I must admit they were much better than my boring grilled chicken sandwich and worth the barter. For the record, Miss Bit was pleased as punch too with her predictable, plain chicken tenders.
Our waiter brought the bill. T. Bone suggested that we play the bill guessing game. (Another guy thing: everything is a guessing game, everything can and should be a competition.) He won. Actually he was almost right on the money while I was $3 over proving that he's pretty much memorized the menu even though this was only his second time eating at the establishment. Oh, and that fact means that he is seriously deprived and depraved because he has friends who eat there once a week. Just Sayin'!
On the way out, he initiated high 5s (don't worry he used the wet wipes) with several staff members. He ate 10 wings, you know! He was so excited and proud that he had to call his Dad in the middle of his north wood's retreat just to deliver the 4-1-1.




After working out with his Uncle the next morning, the two GUYS went out for some wings cuz' what do GUYS do after playing sports, but go cheer on their teams and eat more wings? Poor, poor T. Bone having to eat hot wings 2 days in a row! This time they frequented my brother's favorite haunt. T. Bone was not overly impressed, yet he managed to eat an entire order and get sauce down to his neck. Really, I saw the picture. They opted to go golfing over window shopping for Porsches, but it was a tough choice.
My T. Bone came home so happy after his GUY time with one of his favorite GUYS, his Uncle. (For the record, he was also quite pleased with his winnings from their bet on the weekend's Badger game.) Like uncle, like nephew. Two peas in a pod those GUYS: wings, Badgers, golf and sports cars.
The good thing about my GUY'S GUY though, is that deep inside he will always be this mama's little boy.
And if he grows up to be anything like his Uncle, or many of the other GUYS in his life, he'll be an amazing man. He's already one heck of a GUY!

No comments: