Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

Hubby has ONE...1...Uno class left before he finishes his MBA!

Miss Bit telling me the other day, "I like that about you Mom. You're always honest. And cute. And I like your hair every day and your clothes." I had a good laugh since I hadn't showered yet and was sporting my fancy yoga pants.

My feline boys have each other. The other morning I kept hearing this little mew...a quiet cat call. Sure enough Peanut was in the basement, and he was summoning Tigger to come play. When I called attention to it, Tigger high tailed to the rec room for a game of ping pong and a little tent hide & seek.

T. Bone hung with his Uncle Saturday. They had a sleepover, took part in their own decathlon and then met my Dad for golf the next day. T. Bone loved driving the cart as much as driving the ball.

A victory for the Red Sox! Hopefully, one of many this season. T Bone's got a new position...catcher.

Lavender mint shampoo. It feels as refreshing as it smells.

One pair of peace heart tennis shoes left in Miss Bit's size. She doesn't want to take them off!

"All we are we are and every day is a start of something beautiful."

Miss Bit asked if she can visit her 90+ year old great uncle. She reminded me, "Mom, I just love old people." They love her too.

A bursting with blooms crab apple tree in our front yard.

Even though I slept restlessly, hence not enough, last night, I still managed to get up early to workout. Never mind that I really had no choice since when I went to change the time on my alarm at 6:10 this morning, I ended up changing the time all together.

T. Bone, the man of the house the past couple days, killed a spider for us last night. He is pretty afraid of spiders, but even more afraid of lady bugs!

Target. They had the exact same patio cushions as World Market for half the price!

Jess stopping by on a whim Sunday. She was able to join us for dinner and dancing (With The Stars a.k.a. T. Bone and Miss Bit).

Old pictures. Images of childhood. Million dollar memories.

My hubby comes home tonight. I'm realizing I don't sleep so soundly when he is away.

My frister is coming over tonight, and I'll be most grateful if the rain holds off long enough for us to enjoy a cocktail (or 2) on the patio on my new cushions!

While we were planning outings and excursions for our Bermuda trip Miss Bit gave me a sideways glance and questioned, "Mom are we rich?" I refrained from informing her that no we were just acting like it and that she better not get used to it, and instead said, "Yes, because we have each other."

30 something days left of school. Ready for greener pastures, and big change come fall.

Ain't No Mountain High Enough (to keep me from you)

These nights I’m dreaming of mountains. I’m dreaming of climbing up and down mountain trails. Some of them are very steep and I do not like heights. Others are rocky and require precision footwork and plenty of prayer. Many are slippery slick testing my bodily control and courage. It’s exhilarating, exhausting, terrifying, tricky work when I should be resting. I trudge on up willing my quads to rise to the occasion. I fight gravity on the way down sometimes fearful of putting one foot in front of the other lest I forfeit my foothold.

Last night I reached a summit. The path to the pinnacle was not particularly perilous, but it had its own set of challenges. Loose rock and uneven debris made for a less than certain footpath, and the dense fog only added a cloudy layer to my ambiguity. I didn’t know where I was going, but I wasn’t scared. I didn’t have a trail map…just a sixth sense sensitivity guiding my ascension.

I was awestruck at the apex when I was met by my Mom. Well, an iridescent, opalescent embodiment of my Mom. She told me some beautiful, comforting things, and she even made me laugh at one point even though she never opened her mouth. Her eyes told me everything I needed to know…all that she needed me to know. It was so powerful that after a short while I had to look away already intoxicated by the encounter. The connection was lost. While I wanted our auras to realign, it was time to traverse down the path once again to the base of the mountain.

I was approaching the bottom fatigued from the trek, yet charged by our chance meeting, and anxious over a time our paths would again converge when Miss Bit propelled herself onto my bed in a preschool panic over not being able to sleep. Now seeing as how my head had been in the clouds and I had been communing with the dead, I had a headful of haze. I was moving in super slow motion as I struggled to determine what time it was (3:15), and get her tucked into the side of my bed left empty due to my hubby’s traveling.

She was fast asleep in a nano second, which I could ascertain from the rhythmic rise and fall of her breath. I was wide awake. As I was lying beside my sweet baby girl, I couldn’t shake the certain feeling that THAT was no dream. Now I don’t mean to say that I schlepped along any precarious paths or that I crested any zeniths in the hours that I slept. What I am saying is that on an organic level I KNOW that my energy most definitely communed with my Mom’s energy, and I KNOW this because I feel it with every cell of my being. Oh, and i’ve already had two signs this week.

The first signal was when I was feeling very overwhelmed and wishing I could just talk to my Mom Tuesday night. I said something snarky to that affect outloud. Then not minutes later a sweet little serving platter she bought me during a visit to the Art Institute in Boston came crashing out of the cupboard onto the floor. It broke into three perfect pieces. My initial impulse was to throw it away. I inherited my Mom’s intolerance of wear and tear. Then I got to thinking about the porcelain figurine of the little girl and the doe that no one really wanted to claim when we were going through Mom’s belongings. It wasn’t really her taste, but it meant enough to her to glue it back together on more than one occasion it appears. When I see it on a shelf in Miss Bit’s room and notice the glue residue on all four of the baby deer's legs, I wonder who gave it to her…I wonder why it was treasured by my Mom. I know I need to put Claude’s lilies back together as best as I can. There is value in fixing broken things…in cherishing the imperfect…in loving the flaws and finding beauty in the blemished.

The second harbinger came yesterday. I returned from wasting time shopping to find my I Pod blaring and my cats completely batty. Matt Nathanson’s All We Are We Are was sounding through every room in the house loudly. Now I know there are plenty of explanations, but personally I’m not buying them. Again I just KNEW on a purely organic level that my Mom was responsible. I had doubts that it was her yesterday. I didn’t open myself up to what I knew she was trying to tell me. I was again reminded of a conversation we had days before she passed. I told her more than asked her to send me signs. She responded without even a measure of confidence, “I’ll try.” I guess it’s time I listen.

By 5:15 I tired of Miss Bit’s kidney kicks so I scooped her up and returned her to her own bed. She woke momentarily…just long enough to sleepily say, “Thanks Mom.” I slipped back into my bed and before I drifted off for a solid couple hours of much needed sleep I too said, “Thanks Mom.”

Not Me! Monday!

I did not march on over to give the neighbor boys a piece of my mind after T. Bone and 2 other friends levelled their fort. I sure didn't tell them that I thought their behavior the past few weeks has been embarrassing considering that they are 4th and 5th graders and they all but deserved the retaliation. Not me...I am so not THAT mom.

I'm postive I didn't start farming again this weekend after a month long Farmville hiatus. Not me I have way better things to do with my computer time.

There's no way that I think that these 3 guys are top notch. Not them! Not me!


This little lady does not have me wrapped around her finger(s) either. Not her! Not me!

I did not have to save T. Bone's Pokemon game for him this morning and send him out the door with untied shoes to get on the bus that was waiting to take him to school. I have not had about enough of this newfound Pokemon obssession. Not me!

I did not NOT take a picture of Miss Bit and her friend A. when they came downstairs Saturday night with completely blue faces because I don't think everything is worthy of a photo. The girls did not cover every inch of their faces with blue eye shadow in an attempt to be Avatar people.

I would never send my son to play baseball in the rain in a white shirt. Said shirt is not now mostly brown even after being bleached.

I did not secretly celebrate the rainy weekend for keeping us indoors (after baseball that is) to craft, watch movies and way to much HGTV and Food Network. I never once thought maybe I should get up off the couch to work on any unfinished projects around my house or cook a homemade meal. Not me!

I didn't feed Miss Bit and her friend G. ice cream sundaes for lunch yesterday. While they were eating, G. didn't tell me that her Grandma let her have ice cream for breakfast too!

I didn't tell Jess that she looked just like Bruno Tonioli last night. Hubby was not Len and I was not Carrie Ann, and T. Bone and Miss Bit were certainly not Jake and Chelsea.

Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

T. Bone loves his souvenir Beijing hat so much that he's been sleeping in it.

Miss Bit snuggled in every night with Alice and Sparkles for Sweet Dreams.

Miss Bit discovering leg warmers for the first time the other day. When I set them out on her bed, she acted like she didn't want to wear them, but before she left for school she was telling me to take a picture.

A chocolate cherry scone with my latte last Sunday...the only thing that could have made it any better would have been almonds.

Honesty.

T. Bone expressed his feelings to a classmate who had not been being a good friend lately and things are back on track between them. Feelings and expressing them with words is often alien territory for 9 year olds.

Apologies.

T. Bone and his friends knocked down THE FORT yesterday in retaliation for weeks of exclusion and taunting. That was a prime example of not using your words. He called his friend P. to tell him he was sorry. That takes cajones for a 9 year old.

Forgiveness. Righting wrongs.

Clean sheets. Just put away the flannels until fall.

My curtains are coming soon.

T. Bone got all choked up while watching Idol Gives Back this week. We have been talking a lot about poverty and charity the past couple days.

An episode of The Office last night worthy of watching again. I'm still chuckling over Dwight's line, "Is that the show with the puppets who live in the barrio?" And I'm so adding the word rube to my lexicon.

Robins.

A phone call from an old (and good) friend just to check in. It's like getting a long distance hug.

Lunch with a friend today.

T. Bone has his first Little League game of the season this weekend. Go Sox!

Miss Bit is going from level I swimming to level III. When she heard she was skipping level II, she skipped to the locker room singing, "I love swimming yea oh yea I love swimming!"

Only 2 nights of class left for my hubby!

Spring thunderstorms.

Change. It's difficult, but true growth occurs when we step out of our comfort zones.

Quiet...both inside and out.

As Promised

Rose and I walked into the crossing over circle late and probably a little loud. The fact that we made it at all was a small miracle as I relied on my directionally challenged inner compass to guide me to our meeting spot where we shared a quick glass of wine before our send off. We would most likely have been late even if we had the time right, and well...there's no quiet when Rose and I are keeping company.

They warmly opened up the circle to make room for us, but immediately I just didn't feel the chi. I didn't feel the chi partially because I didn't know what exactly was going on. This was, after all, my virgin crossing over encounter and although I had many preconceived notions of channeling, I had little to base them on. I know now that I was also protecting myself from not hearing what I wanted to hear...from not hearing what I needed to hear...from not hearing anything at all. All along Rose assured me that my Mom and her strong personality would come through. While I wanted to believe her, I needed to shroud myself in doubt.

But here's the thing...I really am a believer. I cried a little when Jill connected with her husband, Jack. I cried tears of happiness that she had these moments with him and then sadness that although our lost loved ones are so close, they're not here. I heard myself gasp when another woman was visited by her father and then her mother. They both had poignant messages for her and suddenly she was no longer a middle aged woman, but a little girl listening to her Mommy and Daddy, hanging on their every last little word. She was being healed right before my eyes.

Rose was the one that finally asked if my Mom was present. The medium sat quietly for a minute and then said, "She's singing Rolling on the River." Now I could really reach to make that fit, but I wasn't about to. I needed a gimme, and I'm glad I held out because I got one. M. went on, "There's a wedding coming up. She wants you to know that she'll be there. She wouldn't miss it." I wish I could share the joy and love and peace I felt there in that moment. I've felt it before. Two times to be exact. The first time was when I held my son seconds after he was born. He was so calm and alert as we stared into each other's eyes and straight through each other. I saw his whole beautiful life flash before my eyes, and my heart swelled at how wholly I loved him and I understood for the very first time just how much my Mom loved me. The second time will come as no surprise. It was immediately after my daughter was born and she was placed on my chest, skin to skin, heartbeat to heartbeat. She stopped her squealing, latched onto my finger and as we looked at each other I had this overwhelming sense that we were being reacquainted...that I had always known her...that I would always know her. In a nutshell, there are connections that I firmly believe beautifully transcend time and place.

After a feisty comment I know could only come straight out of my Mom's mouth, M. laughed as she shared that my Mom winked after she said it. Oh how I miss that wink. I laughed through my tears. My hubby wanted to know if I asked the medium to describe my Mom. I didn't need to because I knew she was there...I felt her. And then I heard what I needed to hear. M. said, "She wants you to know that she knows you miss her. She KNOWS you miss her!!!" How incredibly much that meant to me was only apparent as I prayed later that night and heard myself closing my prayer as I do every night by praying that my Mom knows how much I miss her. So I count that as a prayer answered. She KNOWS.

They know. They hear. They listen. They love. They send little (and sometimes not so little) hellos from heaven often.

The heaviness from the last week was lifted. I felt light and happy and lucky. I'm so grateful for Rose for giving me this experience. We went back to our meeting place to celebrate the living and the dead, and although HIS kingdom has no end, our night unfortunately did.

Quick Recap

All in all it was a good weekend. We kicked it off with an impromptu pizza party with my brother and sil-to-be Friday night. The boys met the delivery driver at the point furthest North to which he will travel to secure us our all time favorite pizza pies. The only thing left for the raccoons were half eaten crusts. Saturday started with baseball practice and trips to the zoo with our Daisy friends, eased into birthday parties and play dates and ended with a bbq at our friends. The kids licked their fingers clean they so enjoyed their first smores of the season. Sunday was a low key day of church, chores and family dinner at Grandma and Grandpa's where we got to hear all about their trip to China and oooh and ahhh over their slide show. After all that good fun, I'm dragging today. There was no time to be alone let alone feel alone this weekend, but then I sure needed that. Now if only I could shake this cold!

Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

Sticking up for myself with the cake lady, and our accountant. Nobody likes confrontation, but there is a time and a place for it.

This enlightening quote from The Shack: Trust is the fruit of a realtionship in which you know you are loved. Because you do not know that I love you, you cannot trust me.

Jack Johnson is coming soon to a theater near me!

Three (3)! more classes until hubby gets his hard earned MBA!

How sweet and helpful T. Bone and Miss Bit have been this week while I have been sick.

Hubby overheard Miss Bit saying her prayers the other night. She said, "And bless all my Grandmas and Grandpas, but not strangers...well, not tonight. And thank you for having my Nanny up in heaven with you." Then he overheard her crying quietly as she held her Alice. That child is purity and compassion and goodness.

Pink grapefruit. Peanut was even begging for a bite the other morning. Miss Bit took one and ended up spitting it in the sink. More for me.

T. Bone took home second place for his Derby car, Psycho Stealth's, design. He came to give me his medal as soon as the ceremony ended saying, "Just put that away Mom, I don't want to be a show-off."

Catching Miss Bit washing her feet the other day in the bathroom sink. She knows just how much her Mama LOVES clean tootsies.

Jess for completely understanding that I was not in any condition to accompany her as I promised to her friend's mother's funeral Sunday.

Gymbucks even though my girl just let me know that her favorite store is now Justice. She sweetly agreed to wear T. shirts sporting bejewled flip flops despite the fact that she actually prefers peace signs these days.

Dinner on the patio Sunday night eventhough we had to move in for the strawberry shortcakes topped with fresh whipped vanilla cream.

Hearing the swish and bounce of the basketball in the mornings before school instead of the booting up of the computer.

Reading Junie B. with my girl before bed. She loves when I get into character.

Miss Bit's belly laughs at her brother's antics. He can give her a serious case of the sillies.

A size 12 seersucker blazer suddenly available at Crewcuts Sunday morning. It fits T. Bone like a dream.

T. Bone, Lil Bit and Miss O. came home from school and immediately sat down at the kitchen table to do their homework straight away Wednesday so they could get out in the yard on the beautiful afternoon.

The peace I felt at knowing that my Mom was behind the tulips opening up just in time for my sil-to-be's shower last weekend. She was letting me know she was there.


Rose took me to a Crossing Over Circle last night. It was unbelievably incredible, and yet I totally believe. My Mom was there. More to come...

Beyond the Blog

The good thing about coming down with a raging cold this week, is that it has taken the focus off of my emotional pain. Physical discomfort always trumps feeling blue. I'm ready for this sickness to pack up and leave. I've had two bouts in two weeks and I don't get sick often. It reminds me of how stress and negativity and sadness can take it's toll on us physically. I have had my share of the former lately without a doubt. I think back a year and a half ago and remember how sick I got the very day after my Mom passed away. After weeks of not really caring for myself, it was bound to happen, but the flip of the switch timing was certainly uncanny.

But it's more than just this cold head that is clearing my head. Taking time to write in my journal is ultimately responsible for my renewed emotional clarity. My journal where I can be raw, unedited, anything but vague. My journal that I've basically abandoned for the better part of a year. I love this outlet...this blog is a blessing, and although I have only a few readers I know about, and as far as I know most of my family doesn't even know I blog let alone where to find My Musings if they even wanted to, it's still out there and so I almost always write with that in mind.

I had to chuckle when my friend told me that she doesn't read my blog because she feels she's invading my privacy....(privy to my innermost Freudian thoughts.) She'd probably have a heart attack if she read my journal! What I'm saying is that I'm not That kind of a blogger...a bare your soul, nothing is private, take no prisoners blogger. I struggle with the tenor of this forum trying to be as open and as honest as I am comfortable with while also taking care not to put something out into this www universe that I'll later regret. I don't hide my feelings, there's no mistaking me for Pollyanna, I don't portray my life as perfect. What I do is delineate the days of my life, and this has become such a gift of an outlet for the historian in me.

Writing in my journal yesterday made me realize that I need to make that personal space a priority again for the rest of me. I've more than missed it. I've suffered by suffocating that means of expression. I had an epiphany while I was writing away yesterday working through a complex web of uncomfortable emotions. I started by sorrowfully admitting,

I cannot ever remember a time when I have felt more disconnected and down than I do at this moment.

After a couple pages I felt positively giddy at my aloneness and completely empowered by the power of one.

At the end of the day, I have only myself to hold accountable for my happiness. I have myself! I am responsible only for me!

It was enlightening to give myself permission to value my feelings, my needs, my desires...to acknowledge their importance and to know that for once in a long while...I intend to live like it.

And while that sounds and feels all wonderful and good, it is also a little messy, a tad tricky for the people pleaser in me who doesn't want to hurt feelings and is not very good at expressing fragile emotions either. I retreat, erect walls, and over time my wounds heal and I move forward, but with each transgression, misunderstanding and disappointment that is unaddressed, moving forward is hampered by the building baggage at my back. And really that's the perfect metaphor for my conflict management...a suitcase. I'm always ready to pack up and leave for awhile when I'm hurt, and the people I shut out are left guessing as to why I left so abruptly.

Only here it gets trickier yet. I am insanely intuitive and I tend to assume that other people have that same visceral instinct that I do. That adds up to my assuming that they know what they did, what they said, what they didn't do, what they didn't say that hurt me, when I cannot and should not assume anything. Instead of taking the red eye outta town, I need to give people a chance to tell me not to go.

So the catharsis in all of this is the transition from wanting to blame other people for my sadness, in giving them the power to create my happiness to taking ownership and responsibility for it myself.

And I cannot call it anything other than a sign that when I picked up The Shack the other night after months, this was the first passage I read:

You really don't understand yet. You try to make sense of the world in which you live based on a very small and incomplete picture of reality. It is like looking at a parade through the tiny knothole of hurt, pain, self-centeredness, and power and believing you are on your own and insignificant.

Spring Showers

A sunny spring day, sipping signature Bermuda Triangle cocktails, a blushing bride, perfect pretty in pink and white tulips on every table, ladies (friends and family from near and far) lingering over lunch, lots and lots of Williams Sonoma boxes, yummy chocolate cake with buttercream frosting for dessert, cute and tasty cookies to take home...and what do you have? A most beautiful afternoon if I don't say so myself.

Remedy to Beat the Blues

Trust me...It works.

Prayers

I just tucked Miss Bit in. She prayed,

I love you God, I love you God, I love you God.

Thank you for dying so I could live.

Thank you for heaven and for having Nanny and Buddy there.

When I go there I know I'm gonna cry cuz I love old people and I love you God.

And I thought,

I love you Lil Bit, I love you Lil Bit, I love you Lil Bit.

Thank you for being born so I could live.

Thank you for showing me heaven on earth.

When I go there I know I'm gonna cry cuz I love you and I love God.

AMEN. GOOD NIGHT.

No Man is an Island

It's unsettling. Unsettling to feel alone in a room full of people. Unsettling to feel alone in a room full of people many of whom you know and love. But it happened. It happened to me yesterday and I'm feeling the residual effect today.

I miss my Mom every day. I missed her miserably yesterday. She should have been with us showering my brother's fiance, sipping Bermuda Triangles and making small talk. I'm trying to be happy, but I'm just sad and I think he is too. Last night he stopped by briefly and I flat out asked him if he had asked someone to be his best man yet. I mean the wedding is in 6 weeks. It's not a trick question. I didn't expect the answer to be controversial, and yet I almost didn't ask it scared to pry. Really...this is what our relationship has come down to?

He said he's not asking a best man and that made me sad. Sad that he doesn't think he needs people. He's isolated himself, put up walls and I just don't think that is any way to live. The saddest part is that I cannot tell him that. I can remember a time not that long ago when we talked about things that mattered. Now we talk, but really about things that don't matter much. I feel like I don't know him any more. I feel like I don't really know too many people these days though.

As the party wrapped up yesterday afternoon, I thought it was beautiful. Then I came home all by myself and I wasn't so sure. I wished my Mom was here so we could compare notes. We would have talked about every detail over a bottle of wine into the gloaming and I would have been anything, but alone as day turned to night.

See the thing is...I know I need people. I am not an island.

Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

We didn't get any measurable snow yesterday.

Spring sunbaths.

Finding my favorite lipstick just before I was going to invest in a new one.

Vacation this week. Lazy mornings, long days, late nights.

Cousins.

This delicious coconut cake I made for Easter brunch.

Board games before dinner.
My hubby caught an expensive error our accountant made just in the nick of time.
The judges saved Big Mike. I'd miss him in the competition eventhough he's not in my top 3.
A family dinner date at Dave & Busters last night.
Getting the last year's worth of pictures in albums (3 to be exact). That's 900 photos btw that I now have to write captions for.
My kids are having a fun day. I've heard from them several times. First stop was the Jelly Belly Factory, second stop was McD's and the final destination is Legoland. Every kid should have an Aunt Jess.
Listening to T. Bone RSVP for a party next weekend. He sounded so old and polite when he said, "Hi, Mr. P. this is T. Bone. I'm good. How are you? Good. I can come to J.'s party next weekend. Thanks for inviting me." Now if only he could pay for the present with his own hard earned money and drive himself.

Mother Nature's Joke

Last night's gale force winds brought us this morning's flurries. The confused flakes are trying to hide the plush green grass, but they'll have to try harder to succeed. Ah, such is April. The weathermen say that today we'll get 1-3 inches. Last week at this time I was hot. Last night I had to turn the heat back on, draw warm baths and hand out afghans thanks to the chill in the air. Miss Bit was thrilled that the bath salts Grandma put in her Easter basket turned her water pink. I was tickled that she smelled like blooming flowers. I buried my nose in her head the way I used to when she was a freshly bathed babe unable to get enough of that sweet on sweet aroma.

We put the kids to bed at 9:00, but then we let T. Bone sneak back down for a special viewing of The Blindside. As the older sibling, I remember such special privileges fondly. The movie was even more moving, inspiring and witty than I expected, and the lessons and messages most important. I looked over at my firstborn while the credits rolled, and was happy to see him wiping the tears from his eyes with a smile on his face. The Blindside had that same effect on his mama. I don't care what anyone says, I firmly believe that Sandra earned every ounce of her Oscar for this performance.

When I checked on Miss Bit before I turned in, she still had her "sleeping" mask on. You gotta love a girl who takes her beauty sleep so seriously.

Despite the utter lack of cooperation from Mother Nature, this has been a good week. Today we have odds and end to take care of...bank business and appointments replace funny business and play dates, but I'm sure we'll mix in a little fun somehow along the way. Tomorrow is a big day for the kids...Aunt Jess is taking them to Legoland. He's excited to see the plastic creations, and she's excited to go to Chicago. I am just thankful for my dear friend coming to my rescue, and once again without my having to ask. That's the most generous charity.

I'm expecting it to be sunny and warm every day next week. I'm pretty sure someone will be laughing and I can guarantee you that it won't be me.

Fristers

We just dropped T. Bone at his friend's house for the afternoon. Now Miss Bit is eagerly awaiting her play date with her friend, B. She said, "Mom, B. is my friend who is like my cousin." I smiled fully understanding her sweet expression. Then she said, "No really Mom... She's my cousin in my heart." I think she understood my sentiment when I shared with her that B.'s Mom is my friend who is like my sister in my heart. I'm grateful that my girl has a frister cuz' I truly don't know where I'd be without my fristers.

What We've Been Up To

I went to bed last night to the sound of rolling thunder followed by flashes of lightning which brilliantly lit up the dark black sky. This morning the spring rite of passage charges and blasts on. It may be morning, but it's masquerading as night.

Miss Bit and I had a sleepover in her room. The air mattress is still front and center on the floor after her weekend sleepover with cousin H. We said our prayers, talked about our day and then she put on her new sleeping mask and we both drifted off. I slept until my aching back sounded off like an alarm to wake me up. I crawled into my own bed in the wee hours to get some more sleep.

I love a rainy day, but not so much during spring break. I planned to shag the kids (and friends) out into the yard to burn off the copious amounts of sugar they've consumed the past couple days. T. Bone and Miss Bit received 3 baskets filled to the brim apiece. Yesterday Miss Bit overheard me on the phone telling her Grandpa that she ate nothing but sugar on Sunday. She piped in, "Na ah...I ate some fruit!" I guess she told us.

I'm grateful that the weather cooperated this weekend since we had a houseful and yardful of guests for the duration. I enjoyed my first slightly soggy hike of the season Friday with Jess. Then we had our first happy hour on the patio. My brother morphed into the mixologist and made some mad margaritas for our sipping pleasure. It was so chill to enjoy the patio, the warm breeze, the tunes, the company.

I spent Saturday in the kitchen making quiches, scones, muffins, bars and cakes. My kids and their cousins came in from time to time to serve as my taste testers. They didn't turn down seconds so I knew the baked goods were in fact good. We ordered pizza for the ever growing crew because I was ready to hang up my apron for the day and so done with all kinds of dough.

Sunday morning the kids had just enough time to hunt for their baskets before church. We arrived with just 10 minutes to spare to find standing room only...only we knew better. We headed up to the front of the church and found seats for the 6 of us in the first 2 pews. After mass, I got several compliments with regard to my lovely family...my well-behaved 4 kids and I just smiled and said "thank you." Miss Bit was joyful to proclaim that, "Jesus roses today!"

T. Bone couldn't wait to shed his blazer, and before the rest of the guests arrived he had on khaki shorts with his oxford. Miss Bit was happy to keep her Easter dress on, but she swapped out the patent leather Mary Janes for rain boots. They hunted for eggs and spent the rest of the day playing pick up games of basketball, baseball, kickball, you name it ball. My brother is the biggest kid of all, and has the most fun organizing the games. The brunch was delicious...I think it's safe to say that no one left hungry.

Since they'll be no fun in the yard today, we may hit the movies this afternoon to break up the day.

Happy Easter

Jesus took his place on the cross to give me mine in heaven.

Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

• Today is going to be a beautiful 77 degree day!
  


• I managed to get the flu during my days off this week. If I was going to get sick...it was a most convenient time.
  


• Flip flops.
  


• Listening to T. Bone give Miss Bit encouragement as she read to him especially since this week I had to stagger their bedtimes because of brawls that were ocurring in their bathroom.
  


• My in laws are enjoying their time in China.
  


• My Dad is enjoying his time on the golf course.
  


• Spring cleaning.
  


• Daffodils and lilies and tulips.
  


• I can eat as much chocolate as I want on Sunday. So why am I making coconut cake and lemon bars for Easter dessert? I am so going to the candy store to get me the good stuff. A wise woman (Lucy Van Pelt) once said, "All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt."
  


• A beautiful brunch planned for Sunday.
  


• A long weekend without much to do except prepare for Sunday.
  


• Watching Dancing With the Stars with my starstruck girl!
  


• Easter trees and buds on trees and marshmallow eggs and egg hunts.
  


• Coming to terms with the fact that I have adult onset ADD.
  


• Finally being able to admit that Ellen Degeneres is funny.

• Our passports arrived! The countdown is on!
  


• Sprayway glass cleaner. Where have you been all my life?

April Fools

April fools is what we most certainly will be if we think that this very premature taste of summer isn't just a tease, but it sure is beautiful. And at least there's no snow if the 7 day forecast.

Today T. Bone and Miss Bit are celebrating opening day with a tailgate party and a little baseball game on the playground at school. She's most excited for the hotdogs. He's looking forward to the homeruns.

The cats haven't left their perch at the open patio door. They're on round the clock chipmunk patrol and couldn't be happier. They cannot be bothered to eat or sleep when on guard.

The first brave shoots are reaching from the ground through the leftover fall debris and the grass is getting greener.

I'm reminded that anything is possible in April. Anything from a 77 degree day to a blizzard. I'm reminded that anything is possible any day.