Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

A week of often spontaneous and mostly stress-free celebrating. I managed to let go of expectations and just let it be, and magically everything worked out almost perfectly. Some things I want to remember for next year: five batches of cookies is enough to make festive trays to share with friends, family and neighbors, making a few appetizers ahead of time and plopping them in the freezer is key to keeping gatherings...planned and unplanned...sane, keep the table set and use all the good china and glasses...tidy the house as you go, keep the trees on every gray morning and throughout the night, get fresh air, drink water and get enough sleep, and don't forget random acts of kindness even if you feel too busy because there's always time to make someone smile.

 

Thanks to Lil and my new 40 oz Stanley, I should succeed at staying very well hydrated this year and it is on my growing list of intentions.

Last night Lil, Grandma, Jess and I attended a concert in candlelight in a beautiful old church. A string quartet played a selection of Taylor Swift songs and it was a lovely way to spend the Thursday after Christmas when it's so easy to give in to melancholy and feel dispirited.  

Jess stayed for a little holiday cheer and some of those frozen homemades I mentioned before. Oh, and a slice of Teddy's French Silk birthday pie. He had about three after two bowls of my Pasta Bolognese.

Embracing the pivot. I'd been thinking about making Bolognese since Christmas Eve. Yesterday was dreary and rainy and ended up being the perfect night for a hearty, comforting, one pot dinner.

Ted is on his way to Cali as I type to visit Meryl, who wrote a Christmas card to the whole family that left every one of us touched and speechless. She's a keeper.

Especially after the duo of mugs she gave us for Christmas...

Ted is in the running to be a TA again next semester. It's tight because their are grad students who didn't get fall placements and want a spring position. If the students' feedback is heavily considered, he will be Mr. Wegehaupt again. All weekend he got emails from students thanking him and praising him. I was such a proud mom.

Taking the week off between the holidays. It's a joy multiplier and it makes me feel like a kid again.

 

 Never a dull moment...

 

Togetherness.

 

The Christmas cactus my aunt gave me is blooming bright and it makes me think of her,

Cocktails after church.

Feeding Ted...

Happy Merry

I'm finally coming up for air after a beautifully full stretch of days celebrating Jesus, Santa, family. We're not quite done yet. Today we celebrate Ted. Meryl and I wished him a happy happy in unison at the stroke of 12. She was FaceTiming from San Diego where he's heading at the end of the week. I'm just grateful he's not leaving at the crack ass the day after from O'Hare like last year. He's gotten all Groundhog on his birthday the past couple years. It's really Ted's perfect day and so it's apropos. It goes like this: workout, wings, guys and golf, City Lights for craft beers and curds and then they storm the casino. This year I am waiting to hear the stories from the comfort of my favorite cozy spot. It's pretty awesome though because his squad is a good one...friends from all ages and stages and all great guys. 

And lest I get too complacent, New Year's is also on the horizon. We are always very spontaneous with regard to the ringing in of the new year, but for as long as I can remember, we always pull a little something something together. Last night I was putting together a menu. Today friends offered to host. For a nano second I wanted to push Casa Wags, but now I'm feeling lucky to only be responsible for an ap and some champs. I'll also be bringing the New Year's swag as it is a ritual.

Traditions were in flux this year, but I have to say everything turned out perfectly. We celebrated with the Wegehaupt Family Saturday. For the first time ever, we were the first ones to arrive. Turns out my mother-in-law told my husband 12:30 and everyone else 1:00. My husband told us noon. We arrived at 12:30. Guess I need to add promptness to my 2024 list of resolutions.

It was a fun and festive gathering. Sometimes I miss all the little girls and boys, but I'm so digging these interesting, engaging young adults who are fun to be with in a whole other way. I won't lie...there was a moment I was daydreaming about the day I'm a great aunt (cannot yet imagine grandma), but I'm not wishing away this sweet spot.

Christmas Eve we made a game day decision to take a little Christmas to my Dad and Judy, who was released from the hospital the day before. It was a money move because we had a great visit and I think waiting would have diluted the spirit of the season...a spirit they very much needed after the last two weeks. And because we weren't fussing in the kitchen, we were able to spend the time visiting without distraction.

We hemmed and hawed about how to spend the rest of the night. We were too late for church and uninspired to make a fancy dinner. I suggested we make quesadillas and it was Christmas quesadillas for the win. the four of us played games and were in bed at a reasonable hour. It was a lesson in not letting perfect ruin good. It was so good.

The kids still slept in Christmas morning, but I enjoyed the quiet morning to reflect and regroup. The holidays can overwhelm me if I don't have time to just be...to sit quietly with my angels and ghosts. This might have been the first year ever that we had breakfast before presents. It makes sense though because the kids need their coffees first thing too...albeit they prefer the cold brews. I made egg Benedict with the gorgeous farm eggs Grandpa gave us from his neighbor. I will have chickens when I leave Milwaukee county fyi. 

It's funny...we had fewer gifts, but it took us longer to open the reasonable pile. I can honestly say that I don't miss the early morning frenzy one bit. I much prefer these adults giving and receiving so graciously and thoughtfully. Gus was a little dickens, but we wouldn't have it any other way. Sister Hazel stayed close for the festivities too.

My brother and sister-in-law arrived early afternoon and we celebrated some more. Lily nailed the signature champagne cocktail. I was completely uncommitted to my menu. All week, I made lists, rewrote lists and never really got anywhere definitive. I knew I wanted to mix things up a bit and it all worked out as it always does. I did a couple waves of "fancy" aps and then a simple tenderloin, Caesar salad dinner. My sister-in-law brought the twice baked taters. We lingered and lingered around the table because no one was anxious to get up. This is the way it should be.

Yesterday I stayed in my pjs, under an afghan all day without a hint of guilt. We binge watched an entire season of a forgettable Netflix series and noshed on leftovers and all I want is more of this for the rest of this week...this year.

I Chose Light

A major wrench was thrown in my quest for merriment. Exactly one week ago, I found out that my step-mom, my second mom, was in the hospital waiting to have open heart surgery. I was in disbelief because she's not exactly an obvious candidate, but I was not shocked because I was waiting for something...I just didn't know what, who. The low level anxiety I've been plagued with, finally made sense. You see, I recognize that I am an empath and because I am wired that way I often know things before I know them. Or rather, I feel them.

The good news is that Judy is 3 days post surgery and already out of the ICU. She may even be home before Christmas and while the holiday will be a little different this year, our family has been given the only gift that matters.

There have been many..too many...reminders of life's fragility lately. I've been weary and worn, but no more. Today on the longest day of the year, I am choosing light.

The house is feeling more festive now that Lily (and all her gal pals) are home. After a night out, they woke me up in today's wee morning hours. I could smell the after-bar kitchen concoctions and then hear them giggling, but I wasn't angry. They are just so happy to be back together and I'm happy that they are hanging out at Casa Wags.

Ted will be home tomorrow. He proctored his exam today. His students gave him a card that said Mr. Wagehaupt. I get as much of a kick out of my Teddy being called Mr. as I do out of the fact that his students gave him a card. I never...not once...thought to give one of my TAs a card. While they were crunching numbers, T. was online Christmas shopping. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I doubted any of his gifts would arrive by Sunday because this Christmas our motto is...it is what it is. And whatever that is...is good as long as we are together.

I've taken stock of my baking supplies, without a batch to show for it. I'm hoping to make just a few faves for us and to share with our neighbors who are likely waiting for their annual goodies. I thought I was finished shopping after a couple stops today, but I'll make one more stop for a few last minute things. We celebrate Saturday with the Wags family and then we'll see what the rest of the holiday weekend brings. I'll be looking for the joy moments and bright spots because I know in my heart they will be there in abundance.

I'm Working on it

 

Just me here again to complain about the lack of snow and my lackluster holiday spirit. It's going to be in the 50's for the foreseeable future. The bright side is that I will be able to continue my evening walks, and I don't have to think of what my utility bill will be when it really gets cold. 

I woke up this morning so crabby I could hardly stand myself. I am so laissez-faire about Christmas in 10 days that one would think it's the Guilded Age. I've been preaching the less is more and what will be will be, and suddenly I'm feeling like I want more and nothing will be if I don't plan it. The truth is I'm paring down everything this year and I'm perfectly good with that, but the lengths of my trimmings were not quite in sync with my affection for this season and adoration of this holiday.

The beautiful thing is that it's within my power and it is always my prerogative to change my mind. And contrary to the waning calendar, it is not too late. In fact, one of the most festive weeks is the magical stretch between Christmas and New Years when everyone is home. Our traditions have shifted with kids in college who come home just before the holiday. There's less anticipation and build-up, and while I'm a junkie for the crescendo, I know how to let it linger and linger and linger.

I know I'm not alone. I'm hearing this from everyone in my life from the cashier at the supermarket to my family and friends. Another thing I know is that sometimes I have to act the way I want to feel. This is also commonly known as bucking it up or putting on your big girl panties. Deep to my core I know this practice to work, but I've been stubborn, and I'm a good part German so I can be downright dogged.

I forced myself to put carols on this morning. I'm working away and every once in awhile I hear myself singing along AND I feel lighter, merrier, a whole lot less crabby. I think I'll make a batch of my Irish Cream tonight after my walk, and I may even have a nip. If I'm really feeling it, I may make a batch or two of cookies. Or I might not and that's ok too.

I'm Here

A third of the way through December and the cat's got my tongue. Things in my life are mostly good. I cannot say that for the wide world, but I've been pretty good at tuning that out. The house is festive enough and as decorated as it's going to get, my Christmas Day menu is coming together, shopping is on track, and now I'm trying to carve out time for holiday cheer.

My favorite thing this time of year is to light all the candles and turn on all the twinkle lights, make something festive like Tom and Jerry's and spend quality time with my family and friends. Last night, we had friends accept an invite for dinner last minute. The usual me would have spent the day Saturday making a spread from scratch. This me ordered all of our favorites from Mama Mia's, chilled the wine, and cued up some Christmas crooners. Instead of spending the day in the kitchen, I took care of some things I've been putting off and then took a walk on the perfectly broody afternoon. It was sort of perfect.

Today has been a luxuriously lazy day of watching Netflix and eating leftover Italian in my PJs. All of yesterday's doings made it possible for today to be all about being. A day like this is a unicorn this close to Christmas. I'm so laid back I don't even recognize myself, but I could get used to this.

And because one of the tasks I accomplished this weekend was uploading my pictures, visual evidence of life's goodness forthcoming.

week-ending

Everyone is back at school. Ted and Meryl left early Sunday and Lily was back in time for her 9:55 this morning. They'll be home again in a few weeks that I know will fly by.

We woke up yesterday to flurries as promised...just enough to be pretty. It was a good day to take our time and do only what absolutely needed doing. We stayed home save for a quick trip to stock Lil's up on cold brew and rice cakes and other necessities like real food. I baked more peasant bread so she could take a loaf home with the good Irish butter. Snowy days and baking bread sort of go together. 

So do movie marathons and Christmas tree decorating so there was that too. We went with a smaller tree again this year. That means we don't have room for all of our boxes and boxes of ornaments and so Lily and I picked and we chose favorites. Gus got in the way supervised and Hazel slept in her bed under the bright twinkle lights...Hello LED. I'm not sure I'm the biggest fan. After trimming, we filled our fajitas that I made so very easily on a sheet pan...one sheet pan. They were delish. We hung in for both parts of The Mocking Jay before an early bedtime. Catching Fire was earlier in the day. Now I'm ready for the new Hunger Games movie, a quiet week, a lot of salads and plenty of water.

 

Full

I was grateful to wake up to a cloudy morning. I've had enough of the sun. A little snow is in tomorrow's forecast and I'm okay with that too. The house is full and everyone is still asleep. It's been a couple days of festive over-indulgence and sleep is the best reset. Exercise too, but that will come later.

Yesterday I had the post-holiday hangover. Not from too much wine or turkey, but from the fact that it was over. It goes so fast...too fast and it's so good that sometimes it makes my heart hurt. When the kids suggested we go out downtown for dinner, I did what I rarely do to them: I said no. Turns out that was a good choice and we all said so before the night was over. We gathered around the island while Ted and Meryl made dinner. Mike and my brother played cribbage and we all chipped in to help here and there. Ted doesn't do anything low key. His homemade french fries were all impressively the exact same size for even frying. Their menu was inspired by Raising Canes and Meryl's love of Takis. They nailed it right down to the sauce.

After dinner, we settled in for a few rounds of Quiplash. Taki was, not surprisingly, the common thread. Lil came home with friends who are still asleep upstairs with Gus the house gigolo mascot. It was my favorite kind of night: spontaneous, go with the flow, easy. Casa Wags is happiest when it's full. I'm happiest then too.

I'm not exactly sure what is on the day's agenda. The kids have plans with friends. I'll probably do some shopping and cooking so I can send them home with a little leftover comfort from the weekend. We talked about getting a tree. I'm ready. The dining room tree is up and lit. It made me so happy to linger around the table in the twinkle lights last night with my peeps. A little more of that is all I need.

Thanksgiving Eve

I'm finally relaxing with a glass of wine and SNL skits from Thansgivings past. It was a busy day of work and errands and holiday prep, and I only have to bring a tart. As a hostess gift, I'm bringing my parents a breakfast basket for the day after when they surely won't feel like cooking. Someone once did that for me and I remember what an unexpected treat it was. I hope they feel the love in the naughty breakfast casserole and homemade pastries.

Cooking for others brings me immense joy, but I have to admit that I'm a little out of practice. I was really glad that I had a big pot of chili for the kids' staggered arrivals last night: 7 o'clock for Lils and just shy of midnight for Ted and Meryl. They're all out tonight catching up with friends. I'm quite content to be home, but I remember how much fun it was to see old friends and crushes.

I'm happiest that they are all home. I slept so soundly last night with them tucked in their beds down the hall. Especially now with all of the pain and suffering humans are inflicting on humans. And while I'm always thankful for the blessings that are mine, it's a challenge to not have a heavy heart. So what I'm trying to say not very eloquently is that my heart is happysad. I'm aware that my happiness is not guaranteed or everlasting or enough or everyone's.

Tomorrow I'll be the first one up. I'll have my coffee with the parade and my mom. It's my time...our time. The kids are going on a turkey trot and Mike and I will take a walk before we make our way to my parent's for turkey two ways, too many sides, a million unfinished conversations, a dozen family photos where no one is looking and more importantly an abundance of tradition and togetherness. I'm 100 percent good with that.

Hump Day

I left work early enough to need sunglasses on my drive home so I could walk in the daylight on this unseasonably warm Wednesday. I've been loving my evening walks. I usually don't mind walking in the dark, but I've been on a true crime podcast kick and last night I got a tad spooked. My only companions were coyotes and owls and the unsettling stories in my ear buds head.

I was on the path by 4 o'clock. It was dark by the time I approached my driveway an hour later and the sweetest sliver of a crescent moon hung in the sky. The days will continue to get shorter until the solstice next month. Most people groan, but I can be a stubborn contrarian. These days of less light fill me with fealty and reverence. Tis' the season. I embrace it.

I'm going to hold onto it to the point of putting up my dining room tree this week. It's a little early for me to deck the halls, but holidaying my house brings me lots of joy and joy is in short supply these days in the wide world. I'm determined that it won't be at Casa Wags. I've started Christmas shopping slowly. I'm going with the mantra less is more. Fewer things and more acts, deeds, expressions, experiences. No one I know needs anything that I can give them other than something thoughtful that brings a smile and reminds them they are important to me. That's this year's mission.

a little weekending

I woke up this morning before my alarm feeling better than I have in days. I've been fighting off a cold. No, it's not Covid. When people hear my voice, they give me disapproving glares. I should wear a sign that says I don't have Covid. 

Mike's birthday was Sunday so we spent the better part of the weekend celebrating him. That did not speed my recovery one bit, but I'm not complaining. It was worth it. Friday we met my brother and sister-in-law at a hip and happening spot in our old stomping grounds for happy hour. It was a beautiful night to be out and about. I almost didn't recognize the small village where I grew up, and lived most of my life. We ended up at a favorite spot for dinner just down the road, which is known for it's pizza napoletana. The arugula salad was a hit as were the chianti and the blood orange limoncello.

The restaurant was busy and that is good to see as the owners contemplated retiring recently. They decided to stay after the community weighed in as to how much they would be missed. There is a lot of heart in their. Food made with love is the very best. I appreciate the family recipes and the fresh, simple ingredients, and I'm pretty sure that my brother and sil, who are foodies, will be back as well. And hello sticker shock. We have NYC prices in the Midwest now.

Saturday was an absolutely gorgeous fall day to take a hike in a nearby nature preserve before we headed to Pete and Sue's for the inaugural dinner in their stunning new kitchen.  As always, it was a delicious and fun night that lapsed into the wee hours before we even knew it. That meant a slow start to a lazy Sunday at home, and we both agreed it was what we needed.

I'm making the Birthday Bolognese tonight and it'll be a good bowl of comfort to beat the Monday blahs. And while that might sound fancy, trust me it's anything but. It's all about quality ingredients like San Marzano tomatoes, a nutty Parm and good pasta - pappardelle for us tonight - and patience. We have it all.

 

weekending

I knew it was going to be a good day when I woke up early and then realized I gained an hour. Slow to go Sunday mornings are my jam. I like to make my coffee and take my time easing into the day. That extra 60 minutes made for guilt-free lounging. A little Food Network, some news, kitty time, puzzles, FaceTime with the kids and the list for the day ahead. Really the only thing on it was finishing up our fall yard clean up so after a rare breakfast - we aren't breakfast people even though breakfast food is one of my favorites - we got busy in the yard. It was a beautiful day for being outdoors too so it was actually a pleasure. Hazel watched from windows and doors. Gus retreated to the basement den where he has claimed a basket of blankets as his own. He's our very own prince and the pea.

It was so good to catch up with the kids. Lily had a rough week, but a much better weekend. She stayed in one night and went out the other, went on a coffee date and stocked up at the farmer's market. I have a care package ready to send tomorrow to tide her over until Thanksgiving.

Ted has been crazy busy teaching and learning. I hadn't talked to him since he was home a couple weeks ago. Thank the lord for Meryl who is so good to send me pictures. They were an uncanny Ken and Barbie for Halloween and this weekend they got all dressed up to celebrate one year together. What a year it's been! They ended up at the piano bar where they met. I love young love. I love them.

 

We had a celebration of our own last night. My mother-in-law is turning 80 years young, We had a lovely and delicious dinner at the Range Line Inn and then returned to Casa Wags for dessert: cupcakes and champs. Two bottles for six of us! It's been a trying year for the Wags family losing two pillars and I think we all needed to come together to celebrate a happy occasion. I am certain this is going to be a much better year for her.

Last week we also celebrated Candace's retirement. There was more champs, a ride or two on The Hop, and seafood at the Public Market. Lots of reminiscing and some good laughs. I am over the moon for her to be free of what I know is a toxic work environment. The good thing, the best part of it is that it brought us together. If not for I wouldn't have a Candace or a Jessica in my life. 

My mom was so right when she said that to be blessed is to be able to count your peeps on one hand. Not every friend is a ride or die and that's okay, but we need our tribes. The few friends who know you and love you through the good times and bad, the pretty and the ugly. They know your heart and they protect it. They know your secrets and they keep them. I'm blessed to have a handful of them.

White Halloween

I wasn't dreaming of a white Halloween, but the snow is flying and starting to accumulate. We had a few minutes of thunder snow, which is very cool. I was ready for fall temps, not winter weather advisories. It would have been nice if the white stuff could have waited until Christmas. It'll probably be warm and sunny in December.

I got tickets for a scary movie, but I think we'll pass. Mike is good with that. It just seems like a good night to be cozy at home. Trick or treat was Sunday so tonight's festivities will be dressing up the cats in their basket full of costumes.

And speaking of trick or treat, we didn't have many kids come by and the ones who didn't even open their mouths to say boo. No trick or treat and no thank yous. Most of them helped themselves to a handful of candy without pause. I didn't care because I wanted it out of the house, but it struck me as piggy and rude. I miss kids with personalities and manners. I blame Covid.

The world we live in today fills me with relief that my kids are grown. That they came of age in kinder, simpler, safer times. I live in fear of what the world will be like if and when my kids have kids. The levels of suffering, hatred, judgement, corruption and tyranny are making me question humanity and democracy.

Just another reason to stay home.

Catching Up

The last week was good and full to the brim. This morning I couldn't be any happier to be here in my quiet house with my cats and my coffee. I returned from my quick trip to NYC Thursday night. Three days and three nights is the perfect time to spend in the city. We had time for some business and some fun. Fun as in good eats, successful shopping, a show, and plenty of people watching. It was a bit of a deja vu trip. I was good with that because midtown felt very safe and normal. We went across the street for Italian at Cellini one night and Greek at Nerai the next. We raved over the lamb chops and lemon potatoes, and were delighted to be able to eat outside on the street. It was more summer than fall during our visit. We scored first row tickets to Gutenberg and while I'm not really sure what it was about, I laughed through the show. Josh Gad and Andrew Rannells are such a great comedic duo. Their riffing made up for the meh story, and the forgettable lyrics and songs. I won't soon forget the rickshaw ride home. We were doing donuts on the city streets and chair dancing to MJ. Thursday morning we walked to Central Park before packing to go home.

In the time I was away, the colors peaked. We drove through the parkway oohing and aahing on our way home. It was just as warm here, but I think we have seen the end of summer temps. This weekend was much more seasonal. I'm good with that too. It's time.

Last weekend we enjoyed a fall family weekend, or more like day and a half. The kids were home for exactly 36 hours. We made the most of it. My brother and sister-in-law came for dinner Friday, which we sat down for at 10:30 when the kids finally got home. We had fun carving pumpkins while we waited for them. I cleaned seven - one for each of us and I roasted every single seed. I made my mom's pumpkin squares for dessert. Saturday we picked apples in the rain and then celebrated 28 years of marriage at a fun farm to table German beer hall that had amazing pizza. Quite a concept. The restaurant and 28 years together! I'm a lucky girl. It was fun to celebrate with the kids and yes, I did bring out the wedding album. I did not make them watch the wedding video. We watched GOT instead.

The kids left early Sunday morning. The car was packed full with leftovers and groceries for the three of them. They didn't even have room for their pumpkins.

Today will be a good day for yard work. We can take a break to watch the Packer game. Last night our neighbors came over to watch the Badger game. They brought the champs and we picked up pizzas and canolis at Gloriosos. While their was no reason to celebrate, we did nonetheless.