Today I give thanks for...
Facing fears. Last night Lily had a first swim meet of the season and she was all nerves. When I told her she was signed up for the IM which includes a lap of the butterfly, I could tell that she was even more worried. I let the coach know she had trepidation over that one stroke. She told me that Lily is one of the best kids on the team and one of the only swimmers who could do it. And she did. She looked very comfortable too, and was beaming with pride when she finished. Before we were even home, she was talking about next week's meet and hoping to compete in the IM again.
Going for it. On the way to get my haircut this week, I decided to cut it all off. Then before I could change my mind which I am want to do, my stylist cut off my pony tail. I remained calm even when she cut it chin instead of shoulder-length. I'm actually loving the new length. It was time for a change. I'm finally feeling comfortable stepping out of my comfort zone.
Being open. I've been not open lately. I didn't realize the extent of it until I felt myself absorbing instead of repelling. I cannot say exactly what changed my mood either. Too many variables were involved at once. I'm reminded of when my kids were first introduced to solids. I was so careful to expose them to one new food at a time so I would know what was the cause of any reaction. Yea, well, I changed a bunch of things at the same time so I'm left with only hunches. But maybe I don't need to know why I feel unencumbered emotionally, physically and spiritually...just that I do.
This Thich Nhat Hanh quote:
What happens in the present moment? In the present moment, you are producing thought, speech, and action. And they continue in the world. Every thought you produce, , anything you say, any action you do, it bears your signature. Action is called karma. And that's your continuation. When this body disintegrates, you continue on with your actions. Like the cloud in the sky. When the cloud is no longer in the sky, it hasn't died. The cloud continued in other forms like rain or snow or ice. Our nature is the nature of no birth and no death. It is impossible for a cloud to pass from being to nonbeing. And that is true with a beloved person. They have not died. They have continued in many new forms and you can look deeply and recognize them in you and around you.
This book. My overall takeaway from After This is that death does not change love. It changes us and hopefully in ways that inspire us to live our best lives while we are here.
Hearing. Lily came home today with hurt feelings and my heart was breaking for her. She needed me to be a safe place. To listen. To hug. To validate and understand. The thing is...I do understand. It's hard being a girl even when you're a grown woman.
End of day.
Beginning of night.
The last remaining leaves.
The end of the bouquet.
Feeling...ready for some family time.