Wednesday, September 10, 2014


Reading Rob Lowe's Love Life, which is a bit like deja vu after reading his first memoir, Stories I Only Tell My Friends. I'm not liking it or him quite as much the second time around.

Wondering if 9/11 will come and go without an attack on U.S. soil. The last couple years, the date was somber in memoriam, but this year the fear and worry have returned front and center.

Noticing during my walk last week that some of the trees along the parkway have started to change colors.  The maples are always the first to start the seasonal transition, and I both love them and hate them for that.  It is such a slippery slope.

Watching Orange is the New Black.  I watched almost the whole season during one pity party of a day, but now I am much less obsessed. Also The Great Food Truck Race which is good for the whole family.  We recently saw and loved The Hundred Foot Journey. This summer movie season didn't offer much.  I'm anticipating numerous fall releases.

Listening to 80s pop radio.  I turned it on accidentally and then couldn't turn it off because every song is like a boomerang to a specific memory in my teenage past.  Jack and Diane used to be Jack and Kristin...I fantasized that John Mellencamp wrote the little ditty just for us.  Everybody Wants to Rule The World takes me back to Sara's garage where we would spend days and nights hanging out the Betties and the Buddies.  Lucky Star comes on and I'm in Utah. I'm on my Grandma's couch in the middle of a sleepless summer night.  I found MTV and I was addicted.

Eating the first apples that taste like anything since last fall and sautéed baby broccoli that tastes so much tastier than steamed regular broccoli.  I'm in a bit of a rut in the kitchen.  I'm burnt out by Wednesday because I've basically been a short order cook all summer, and with T. Bone's football appetite I could be feeding him full time.  I think packing school lunches put me over the brink. I'm gearing up for fall fare like soups and stews though.  I love that kind of cooking.  Groceries have gotten so expensive and shopping has become such a chore.  I have 5 stores on my rotation, and now I am serious about adding a small-town butcher too.  The meat we bought from him on a recent stop was so fresh and good.  It has forever soured me on grocery store meat, which is basically rotten by the time we buy it.

Drinking coffee, water and wine.  Tis' the season to substitute a mug off tea for my second cup of coffee.

Dreaming about having all the answers so I could stop waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop.  Even a few of the answers would be welcome.  Helpful.  Liberating.

Feeling jittery and anxious.  Change does that to me even when I look forward to what is in the pipeline.  It's just the way I'm wired, but I'm working on that.

Wanting peace.  Inner, world.  I want to keep the peace, make peace and be at peace.

Wearing flip flops on my feet and a braid in my hair for as long as I can.

Hoping that I can stick to this meditation plan, which right now is to sit for 5 minutes a day.  I keep telling myself that I can do almost anything for 5 minutes, but it's getting harder not easier.  I think it's because I feel like I'm not making progress fast enough even while I know that is counterintuitive to the whole exercise.  Today I had a sneeze attack in the middle and that ended it for me.

Thinking that the very pursuit of happiness is the origin of our unhappiness because we seek satisfaction at the expense of the goodness right before us.  And also about enough.  Is it possible?  What does it even mean?

Enjoying the sound of the rain falling outside my open windows, the solitude of an almost empty house, sleeping with the windows open and a cool breeze on my bare skin, more time to myself in the mornings, being present in ordinary moments and tasks throughout the day.

Loving this piece by Dani Shapiro, this Meghan Trainor song, and this 5 minutes of latenight t.v.