2 day pass

i really needed this weekend.
it was a busy, emotional week.
yes, i'm even allowing myself to use that dreaded "b" word i so abhor.
so when friday eve rolled around, i was ever grateful for girl time on the patio with jess.
it was a beautiful late summer day that turned into a beautiful end of summer night.
the wind picked up and darkness fell, and still we sat.
the kids spent all of saturday with their cousins.
i always wanted cousin friends.
all my cousins are much younger and live in different states so we have only recently developed friendships.
ted and tim, and lily and heidi have so much fun together.
i love that they have the kind of bonds - strong and steady - i believe they will carry throughout their lives.
it was a wistful last of summer day.
we are so precariously betwixt and between...
opening and then closing windows as the breeze warms and cools, smelling petrichor as a midday rain falls and also soups simmering on the stove for lunch, watching football and watering the last of the summer plants, which soon will be replaced by heartier mums.
we headed to the high school to watch ted's team play under the lights.
grandma and grandpa joined us to cheer on the knights who we thought were the victors apparent.
sadly the outcome was not in their favor.
ted played almost the entire game so after some pizza, he was toast.
today is my mom's birthday.
she would be 66.
despite the grey day and the somber occasion, my heart was not as heavy as i expected.
i arrived at church early, lit my candles and had my moment.
when friends arrived, i had already dried my eyes and said my peace.
my focus had already shifted from who i have lost, to what i have gained.
mass was another buoy, and father tim's words always wise and comforting.
we filed out of our pew and into a booth for breakfast.
6 years ago to the day we were all toasting my mom on her 60th - her last birthday.
i was bolstered up by our time together as well as the sun breaking through the cloud cover.
i came home to a yard full of boys playing football.
miss bit was away at a birthday party.
i was very present in the preparation of tonight's family dinner -
it was in my mom's honor, after all.
the menu was an homage to her too:
pork roast, mashed potatoes and gravy, buttered corn, carmelized squash, cottage cheese and warm chocolate bread pudding topped with cold haggen dazs ice cream.
my brother and sil joined us.
we shared stories around the table proving that even though she is not here, she is with us.
godspeed and goodnight.