Leaning In

I think it's Wednesday today, but it feels like Friday. I woke up thinking about going to the grocery store. Fridays have been my grocery day. We don't need anything except to get out of the house. We want a few things, but we'll make do. We've been eating quite well actually. I've had all the time in the day and then some to make tasty lunches...Caesar salads, burrito bowls, sandwiches on a fresh baked loaf of bread, and dinners too.  It's true that last night I was eating a bowl of spaghetti and meatballs left over from earlier in the week at 9 o'clock at night. That's late even for Casa Wags, but we didn't have lunch until almost 3 o'clock. Our schedules are a bit out of whack. I think that's the most difficult part of quarantine for me: the lack of routine. I slept until noon Monday, was up at 9 yesterday and 10 today. I've been staying up way past my bedtime most nights.

Staying home is not really that hard for me. Sure, I miss people, but I am happy at home under normal circumstances. In my ideal quarantine, I would still be able to entertain my friends and my family. I would cook them elaborate meals and set my table (now covered with a puzzle) all pretty. The wine would flow and the laughs would be contagious lightening all of our loads. And obviously that's not prudent right now so I've decided on the next best thing. I'm going to surprise my loved ones with quarantine care packages: a little love from my kitchen and maybe a vase of happy tulips too. A bottle of wine (or two), a book, a cheerful note. Today I'm going to make strawberry cream cupcakes for my first recipient, a friend I happen to know is under a lot of pressure right now. 

I've been sticking to my three things: a task, a treat and time together...a little heavy on the treat side. Yesterday's included hours of reading in a new favorite spot, a long walk on the river path with my guy at the end of his work day, a nice glass of wine post walk, 2 episodes of Bloodline. I stripped all the beds, did loads of laundry and vacuumed the first floor. I did a little work, made a budget that will likely be changing, paid some bills. It was a good day. Mike, Ted and I worked together around the kitchen table. I took Lily driving and Mike and I took that walk.

Fresh air is a game changer right now. The parkway has been busy, but the river trail was untraveled and only a little muddy. We stopped at the falls for a few minutes to watch the salmon jumping. The robins were everywhere. I saw a blue bird in the yard the other day. That's a rare and heart warming occurrence. Even rarer was the pileated woodpecker Mike saw that same day. This morning my brother sent a picture of a bald eagle fishing on Windmill Beach. I share this to say that the world continues to amaze and delight me. I share this as a reminder that there is still so much beauty in the world. I share this because now more than ever I need invitations to be.here.now. 

It's been hard to be in the moment. It feels indulgent, irreverent and a little ignorant given the turmoil we are all living with right now, but I'm learning how. I'm leaning into it. I'm taking it one day at a time. I'm taking care of my family. I'm trying to be a good citizen. I'm doing my best.  

I've spent a lot of time thinking about what the legacy of this time will be, what lessons we will learn, how we will be changed. Only time will tell.