Tuesday, March 8, 2016

two day pass

feeling fragile and a bit out if sorts, i stayed close to home this weekend.
the malaise had been building all week despite the sun, the spring air and the smiles.
i showed up all week and did my best, but after a lovely friday happy hour with friends.
i felt relief when i sent them off into the snowy night.
relief not for their parting, but for permission to stay put for the next day and the day after too.
you see dark clouds outside make dark clouds inside less frustrating. not as disturbing.
it is uncomfortable to feel incongruous with the weather.
a semblance of peace blanketed me when i woke to a whitewashed world.
i worked all day digging out from a stretch of procrastination.
there was some accomplishment in completing projects that were not glamorous or fun.
mike and the kids went to lunch, and to hang out with friends and cousins while i worked.
these were the kinds of tasks best tackled solo.
the minute i woke sunday, i could feel a bug coming on.
i managed to rally for church and then came home to bed where i read and napped all afternoon.
i felt guilty for checking out and a little blue that i was missing precious family time, but it was what i needed.
i was able to rally late in the afternoon for a workout.
getting rid of toxins was a boost.
then mike and i made sunday dinner in tandem.
i think i was finally good company.
chicken cordon bleu, asparagus and green rice rounded out the menu.
lily curled up in bed with me after dinner to cuddle and watch t.v.
that's some of the best medicine.
this weekend i gave myself permission to act the way i felt.
it was a gift really.
i've gotten worse not better, but my mood is on the upswing.
i know my body will soon follow.