Quiche is the perfect dish to use up all the random remains left in the frig. Chunks of cheese and ends of veggies that would likely get tossed can come together to make an inspired meal. A little capricola leftover from a charcueterie platter and a half eaten round of brie came together beautifully. Some soggy spinach and a forgotten ball of fresh mozzarella made another tasty duo. I served the pies along with an everything but the kitchen sink salad that took care of the dredges in the crisper. The smash up was nothing special, yet it was a fine meal.
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It struck me as I plated last night's dinner that it is a metaphor for my life right now. It's delicious, but confusing. Bifurcated. I'm betwixt and between. Between shopping trips, moods, seasons, stages of life. Let me tell you limbo is not where I like to remain precariously perched.
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I woke up yesterday feeling like dog meat. Cold head was largely to blame. Mid-day I caught a welcome surge of energy and optimism. I didn't waste time wondering what flipped the switch...I just went with it. Throughout the day I was shedding layers, opening windows and than looking for a sweatshirt or wrap a few minutes later. In one of my warmer moments, I started swapping out the flannel and down for cotton on our beds. Why resist change I conceded.
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Time after time I bristle and buck. I duel and stonewall, but in the end winter becomes spring becomes summer becomes fall otherwise known as moments become days become weeks become years. That's why I repel. Revolution...evolution...it's hard for me. In moving forward, I fear leaving something behind. I rue and I regret every single time. I know it, and yet I cannot change it. It's simply the way I'm wired.
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I feel things. I notice everything. I want to honor all of it. That takes time...more time than I have.
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Last night while I chopped and mixed time, more or less, stood still. I was in the moment. In the be.here.now mindset. I heard gruffy old Hemingway, not Dickens. He once said,
Try to learn to breathe deeply, really taste the food you eat when you eat, and when you sleep, really to sleep. Try as much as possible to be wholly alive with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell. And when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.
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And if I'm to come clean, last night was actually the tale of two dinners. The kids had crepes.
