Wednesday, January 27, 2016

What Now?

Today I have the house entirely to myself.  It's the first Wednesday since late October that I won't have the company of contractors.  About this I am wildly jubilant.  I don't have to listen to saws, someone else's music or Spanish.  One worker who was here for over a week spoke incessantly to his mama', his tia', his hermanas, his novias all day long.  For ten days, my life was a telenovela.  It's no surprise that his work (drywall and painting) suffered as he chattered away on blue tooth. Wherever you are Jesus, know that I know Spanish.

Ah, but I digress.  It's also the first Wednesday in months that I have mostly free and clear.  Don't be silly, there are always to dos, coulds and shoulds, but there is nothing pressing. I have a day to myself, and the wealth of possibility is paralyzing.  Isn't that how it goes?  We want and yearn and desire, and then we receive and we scarcely know how to proceed.

We're so programmed for longing that satisfaction is rarely sustainable.  People like to set goals and there's nothing wrong with it except the preoccupation that comes with always needing to be, do, have something we're not, haven't, don't.  It's a surefire way to set yourself up for a life of languish. That's not what I want. You?

I'm not advocating stagnation or even complacency, but I think there's something to be said for accepting and celebrating the now.  Who we are now.  Where we are now.  What we have now.  There are any number of cliches I could insert at this point, but I won't.  We've heard them so often, they've lost their power even as they ring true.

I guess my point is that time has a way of showing us what really matters: this moment right here right now so