Saturday, October 24, 2015

Grateful Friday on Saturday

It appears that I missed a week.  There hasn't been much time for blogging.  Life around here has been full and frenetic.  The last seven days have challenged me to remain calm and collected when my first impulse is to scream and scorch, to think before I speak thus activating that filter protection, to take the lessons as they are delivered and also to see in them not always what I want to, but what I need to.  I have learned about myself in recent history that I am someone who navigates life in absolutes.  For me, it is all very black and white.  This method of skippering through it all is incongruent with what I know to be true though.  What I believe is that things are never outright one thing or another.  There are always blurred lines, unclear circumstances and a uncontrolled element of chance. That being said, the trials of the last week left us with important lessons on family, friendship and life. Hard, but good lessons about what it means to be good to the people we care about including ourselves.  We deserve to have standards and expectations and boundaries, as long as we too abide by them.  

At the end of the week, I give thanks for...

Making lemonade out of lemons.  Teddy did that big time last weekend.  I went from wanting to throttle him, to my heart hurting for him, to being incredibly proud of him.  I believe that the difficult situation he weathered, will make him a better more discerning friend, and since we become like the five people we spend the most time with, I see this as a major win.

The sound of my brother's sports car.  I heard it approaching unexpectedly last Saturday just when I was about at my wits end.  He came to my rescue to tie Ted's tie, add a little lightness to the levity and deliver the boys to the dance on time.

The end of the season.  Ted finished his final cross country race of the year with another PB.  This morning, I dropped him off at school to ride a bus north so he could cheer his teammates at sectionals.  He's so enjoyed being a part of this team.

The beginning of her riding season.  Her trainer moved away and we're finally connected with the new trainer.  I don't like that she missed two months of gorgeous riding weather, but in retrospect I can see that it helped her commit to swimming with a little more passion.

Teacher conferences.  Lily's teachers once again gushed about her not only as a student, but as a person.  They all called her out as a leader and kind friend to every classmate.  Teddy's teachers were also full of praise about his studies and his character.

20 years.  Mike and I have been married for 20 years!  We celebrated the milestone by heading to Kohler for a getaway on our anniversary.  It was just what we needed.  We enjoyed a delicious dinner at Trattoria Stefano that night.  The next day we visited the art museum in Sheboygan and then took a long hike along the dunes and through the woods at Kohler Andrae State Park.

20 more years.  I'm really looking forward to the next chapters with my guy.

Jess.  She stayed with the kids, took them out for dinner, even sent me photos of the cats and then told me all the snippets and stories when we returned.  I didn't worry about a thing once.

Packing and purging.  The kitchen is almost bare.  As I'm boxing things up, I'm a little disgusted by all the stuff we have.  There is so much we don't need, and I've realized this in the last year as things have broken down one by one.  It's liberating to pare down our belongings.

October.  It's been such a beautiful, unseasonably warm month.  Every day everywhere I look is a postcard.  My words have alluded me, but I have seen and felt what I have been unable to say.

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