Thursday, April 3, 2014


Someone once said "Imitation is the finest form of flattery."

Carole Radziwell recently said, "Flattery is the finest form of flattery."  It made me laugh.

I agree with Carole wholeheartedly, and yet I cannot trust someone who is overly complimentary in a fawning, manic, enough already way.  You know them...right? Having a conversation with them is like one long ego stroke.  You should feel like a million bucks when they're done talking, but you don't because you know you aren't perfect.  You wonder...of whom do they speak?  Either they don't know you very well or they are grossly insincere.

Yet I warn you....the least trustworthy are those that never offer a single compliment. They are the most grudging or ill intended.  I know you know them too.  They are the ones who casually ask, "Is that a new (fill in the blank)?" always noticing.  "Did you make that?"  "Did you write that?"  "Where did you get that? When you answer, they smugly say "Hmmm."  Sometimes you might get a dismissive, "That's nice." They are superior and their every interaction must remind the other party of that. I have a difficult time paying compliments to those who are stingy with their kind words.  That fact is only one proof that I am not far removed from my high school self, but I do compliment myself on noticing this character flaw because I am a complimenter.'s hard to be nice to the not nice even as I hear that little voice...kill em' with kindness.  At this point, I'm already a murderer!

I could compliment almost every person I encounter in a day.  I don't because it's not always appropriate, but I could.  It's always in the back of my mind that we rise by lifting others.  I want to rise, soar, shine.

But I digress.  Let's get back to the Real Housewives.  I think Aviva crossed the line showing up in the same pair of glasses as Carole.  I wouldn't want to be anyone's four-eyed twin.  She also insulted Carole by suggesting anyone can write a book.  I understood why that struck a  nerve with Carole.  I mean anyone can indeed write a book, but not everyone can write a good book.  That being said I have no plans to read either of their books. I may write a book, which I am sure many of my anti-compliment friends and family won't read, or won't admit to reading. Carole hit below the belt too when she dismissed Aviva's role as a mother. As a writer and a a woman and a friend, I take offense to most everything about their interaction.   And I guess the moral of the story is beware of those who are overly complimentary as well as those who never have a kind word to share.  Oh and rise on your own.