On Skiing and Performing and Legacies

I just saw T. Bone off for a day of skiing with friends.  They are going to what is probably the best resort in the state and snow is in the forecast.  I think he's going to have a stellar day.  I remember coming here after sending him on this same trip last winter.  I was worried and nostalgic and a tad verklempt.  What a difference a year can make.  He's grown up so much in the past year, and I've accepted it.  I may have even welcomed it.  That being said, I was the one blow drying his soaked ski boots at 6:30 a.m., handing him a wad of cash and a banana, kissing the top of his head and sending him off with a Be safe and have fun.  Still the mother...always the mother.

I didn't learn to ski until I was a teenager.  I babysat for a family who took me to Colorado with them a couple times.  Although I was there to care for the baby, they hired another babysitter and sent me to ski school.  What a job!  I have fond memories of the H. family and those trips to Steamboat Springs.  I can still see the girls fearlessly flying down the mountain sans poles in their bright colored parkas making it look so easy. Now they are young women who may take their own children skiing.  My own girl is going to learn to ski in Colorado this winter, and I plan to reacquaint myself with a sport I haven't enjoyed since before T. Bone was born.  I don't love to ski, and I don't like heights, but I love the mountains and snow and family time.  T. Bone is a die-hard and I suspect Miss Bit will be too so I'll do it for them because that's what moms do.  Always the mother.

Miss Bit has play practice for most of the afternoon.  The big show (Aladdin) debuts in less than a week so we are in the home stretch.  I am excited to see her on stage although at this point I'll likely be backstage for all the performances because of a lack of parent volunteers. Sigh.  Last night over a slice of Milky Way Pie she decided that she will try out for her school's spring musical because it is Annie. I think it's a good choice. This acting thing is good for her confidence and character, and I just adore Annie too..

I never mustered up the chutzpah to try out for any school performances despite the fact that I always dreamed of being on stage.  I joined the stage crew instead.  It was a better fit for me to be behind the scenes hammering and painting and such.  I don't like the limelight.  I never have.

My Mom always said that when she retired she was going to get into community theater.  I know she would have truly found a calling in performance art.  She was always the entertainer: smart, witty, quick and confident.  Maybe that's why I love the idea of Miss Bit on stage.  In a round about way she's fulfilling her Nanny's dream...sharing it.  We all have our legacies -bequests and traditions so powerful simply because of the meaning behind them. Gifts because of how they came to be.  Heirlooms because of who they connect us with.

Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

Hot soup on cold nights.  I made my roasted tomato soup this week and topped it with Coach's 13 year aged white cheddar.  Miss Bit opted for a mug of tomato over chicken pastina.  I love how her palette is becoming more adventurous.

A cat who knows what he wants.  Peanut just tried to curl up on my computer which happens to be on my lap.

A dinner date tonight with Miss Bit and Coach.  Don't know where we're going yet, but I do know it'll be some place that serves chicken tenders.

T. Bone's been getting in lots of skiing. Three times this week.  Tonight and all day tomorrow.

Painting sessions with Miss Bit at the kitchen table.  I love that kind of together time.

Tomorrow will be a nice day to take a walk.  I need a break from the elliptical.  Coach and I logged three miles last Sunday.  It was in the teens and my poor cheeks had wind burn for days.

T. Bone is motoring through the Pitticus Lore series.  I secretly love when I have to sneak into his room to turn of his lamp because he falls asleep reading.

I'm in the process (with Coach's very patient help) of getting the hundreds of pictures off my old cell phone onto my new computer so I can edit them.  I also have to get the photos off my Nikon.  Then I have to get my Mine Craft junkies off my new computer so I can get to work.  I feel like my photos have been held hostage.  My computer too.

Mindy Kaling and Alyssa Milano.  Strong, successful women who are beautiful role models for other women.

The ethereal steam rising off the frozen shores of Lake Michigan this week.  It was otherworldly.

A home.  Heat too.

Tomorrow I'm taking down the trees.  All three of them.  Now it's time and I'm ready.

Prayer of St. Francis

Yes, please do.
Before all else fails...pray.

January

Days slowly getting longer, but not warmer.
High energy bills.
Low energy levels.
Furnaces going out on the coldest day of Miss Bit's life.
Coach and then nice repairmen to the rescue.
80 degree temperature swings in less than a week.
Freeze thaw freeze thaw.
Arctic air, blowing snow and bitter wind chills.
Fuzzy boots and socks.
Wool hats and sweaters.
Afghans: one for each member of the family including the cats.
Christmas clean up and store returns.
Sales, but who wants to shop?
Cancellations...school, lessons, practices.
Hot soups.
Warm breads.
Hearty pastas.
Comfort food.
One last drink in festive glasses to almost finish the Irish Cream.
Purge of leftovers and snacks and sweets.
Time to be healthy, but that comfort food is calling and it's too cold to exercise outside.
Arts and crafts in the afternoon.
Movies in the evening...2 1/2 yesterday alone.
Some get stir crazy.
Skiing and hockey and skating.
Others I channel my inner Oblomov.
Flannel sheets.
Cuddly cats.
Curling up with a book.
Two more months of hibernation.

2 day pass

it may be monday, but the polar vortex extended our weekend.
i'm lounging beside miss bit in my bed under lots of warm blankets.
she never changed out of her pjs today.
we are on our lap tops and watching the bachelor.
i may have to change my mind on how long this viewing continues.
i know this is not exactly appropriate, but she promised to close her eyes when there's kissing.
t. bone just joined us too.
at this point in 2014, i'm a rather unlikely candidate for mother of the year.
school is cancelled again tomorrow.
i guess i'll go to the movies next week now that the kids will be home.
that's ok because august osage county will be out by then.
the relative quietness of the last few days will continue.
we stayed close to home for the duration.
except for t. bone who hit the slopes on saturday.
and miss bit who went to see frozen with friends.
coach and i were happy to order takeout chinese and watch snl.
sunday we went to church.
i really wanted to stay in bed,
father t.'s sermon was especially poignant and the music so beautiful.
it was the epiphany.
he said we are all gifts so shine (gold), we should all be priestly and aim to lift up everyone we encounter (frankincense) and we should feel the joy even in adversity (myrrh).
we sang what child is this and joy to the world.
i cried.
and felt so grateful that we didn't stay in bed.
while the kids had sunday school, we stopped at our favorite italian deli and stocked up on pizza fixings.
my brother and sil joined us for the packer play off game.
we all made pies.
this time i made a thai chicken pizza that was quite tasty.
i also perfected my caesar salad dressing...less dijon and more parmesan.
sadly the packers lost  and now the season is over for us.
but the weekend isn't over...yet.

Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

being back here.  My blogging has been hit or miss, and I am starting to miss it.  There are so many beautiful moments that I wanted to capture over the holiday season, and also some painful, hurtful ones that I did capture (in my private journal).  But I've been otherwise occupied, and I'm grateful for that too.

Back to life...back to reality.  The break from normal routines and commitments was a welcome one, but I am happy to have more structure and responsibility once again defining our days.

We had a quiet New Years Eve and New Years Day.  I didn't miss the revelry or rousing a single bit.  It was perfect.  We did homemade pizzas NYE and watched a movie of Miss Bit's choosing before tuning in for the ball drop.  The next day we sat by the fire cheering on the Badgers.  T. Bone came home from a friend's late afternoon, and we had a nice, but simple family dinner to celebrate the holiday.  Coach grilled a steak for sandwiches and I made a Caesar salad.  At Miss Bit's request, we sat in the dining room and lit the candles.

 

Jalapeno Popper Pizza.  It was my NYE creation...one to be recreated, I think.

Harney & Sons Cinnamon Sunset tea.

No resolutions this year.  I confess, I never keep them.  In 2014, I'm making intentions.  What's the difference?  Resolutions have a negative air, and suggest that in some way you are bad or wrong and need to change to be adequate.  Intentions are like permission to take care of yourself.  They say that you are deserving and worthy just the way you are.  I've also learned over the years that there's less of an impact if I focus on the minutiae like read 25 books.  I am more motivated if I set my sights on the big picture like read more because you love it, and go from there.

No Facebook.  I never was active or very connected there, but it started to become clear to me that the whole notion lacked authenticity.  It is a public forum often for what I believe should be kept private.  Once the allure of reconnecting with old friends and classmates wears off (because let's be honest...it does), it is often nothing more than a timeline (Facebook's own lingo) for where you are and who you are with.  When we over-share, we are being inclusive with our exclusivity.  Translated to say: I want you all to know that I am here (insert restaurant, resort, or party) with him or her and you are not.  Hmmm?  Now I realize that not all Facebookers use the site this way, and if you have a business or group like a school group, there are definite benefits to the exposure, but I also realize it is no longer for me.

The realization that the validation I seek is my very own.

Homeland.  We finished the first season over break and now we are 148 of 148 holds for the second.  I LOVE Saul and I'm trying to resist the urge to breakdown and buy it.

Our tree is still drinking.  I'm not ready to take it down just yet.  We are still enjoying it.  I feel sad when I see trees on the curb before the Epiphany.

I received Magical Journey for Christmas.  It couldn't have come at a better time.  I need a dose of Katrina Kenison to get me into the right frame of mind and heart as I enter 2014.  Her words have a way of making my heart tender and open.  Her writing has the tendency to make me look back and then forward so rather apropos.

A short week.  While it was good to get back to it, I am giddy over the fact that ahead lies a weekend with very little to do.

A Happy 2014!

We woke up to snow today.  The pretty kind of flakes that dance and twirl their way to the frozen ground. Everything white and peaceful and purified.  Truthfully, it is just the kind of scene that warms my heart on a cold January day.  I am happy to welcome the new year fireside with my little family.  These are the kind of moments that remind me that I really don't need much, and also that I have all I need.  So it is with a heart full of harmony that I say goodbye to 2013 and hello to 2014.

We went to an matinee showing of The Secret Life of Walter Mitty yesterday afternoon, and all six of us gave it rave reviews.  We stopped by my aunt and uncle's for a little holiday cheer before dropping Ted at a friend's for the night.  He hemmed and hawed at whether or not to go.  Coach and I mused that it would be our first New Year's without our son as we remembered our first with him.  He was just five days old.  He went.

Our 13 year old called home at midnight.  Miss Bit was snuggled between Coach and me as we watched the ball drop with money in our hands.  (No herring this year sorry Dad.)  The phone rang right at 4-3-2.  It was T. Bone a little homesick after all.  So we all shouted Happy New Year as the clock ran out.  Together even though apart.