Vent

It was good for the mind, body and soul to say yes to a quick 24 hours at Windmill Beach over the weekend. A change of scenery was welcome and the Lake Michigan shore is not just any back drop. The sky was moody and the surf was loud and tempestuous. Stormy sums up my demeanor right now. I'm unsettled and ill at ease to my core and I found the camaraderie with nature comforting. I never needed a virus to impart upon me the importance of family time, or slowing down, or the little things that matter big in life. It seems like so many people are just viewing this as an extended vacation. They are discovering walks, game nights and family dinners for the first time. I cannot wrap my head around that even while I understand the need to create some sense of peace and normalcy especially for young children. Family and the life we share here at Casa Wags is paramount to me every day quarantine or not.

I know in my heart that we're all just doing our best to keep our heads above water in these uncharted seas. We're looking for buoys and silver linings. It's just that the pessimist in me is rearing it's ugly head. I'm not proud, I'm just being honest.

We did what we normally do when we are all together. We played games, cooked together, exercised. We're still on a Wizard kick, but the boys played some crib too. Then they did all the prep work on the pizzas and that was such a treat. We stayed up too late singing songs and cocktailing. I set my alarm to get up for the sunrise, but I left it in the sun room. The sun was well on it's way when I met the day at after 10 o'clock. My aunt called and we chatted. Commiserated. Some of us went for a long run. The rest of us went for a brisk walk. We bundled up and went out onto the road and I'm telling you it felt a little odd. The highlight of the walk was the bald eagle sighting. We came home for breakfast. Brad was the chef again. He served up camel's eyes to order and grilled the bacon on the deck. He's such a good uncle that he made Lily a buffalo chicken burrito to order. She's yet to grasp the idea of sacrifice.

She drove home. On the highway. I didn't say ooo ooo ooo once. Tigger was happy to see us. He's been so accustomed to having us home that I think he really missed us. It was a fend and veg night. Leftovers and dvr'd tv. Ted went to a friend's. I question every time he leaves whether we should be letting him go, but then I relent because this small circle of friends have been together for weeks. It looks like that will be curtailed in the coming days.

This morning I woke to snow. I took my time getting motivated, but I went in to work mid morning. Alan and I caught up, Linda called in with her report, I made a cup of coffee, I got to work. I finished a couple projects I've been putting off.  It felt so normal. Then the governor tweeted that tomorrow he's closing all non-essential businesses. I feel like they're already closed. We have 400 cases in our state of almost 6 million. I'm sorry, but I cannot help but feel this is a little extreme, or else there's a whole lot we've not been told. That's just the skeptical, discerning part of me that takes over when things don't add up.

I had to make an appointment at the bank to do business. The lobby is closed. That's just a little alarming. More alarming was the way I was verbally accosted by a woman who came up to bank without an appointment. It's not a good thing to try and limit people's access to their hard earned money that's losing value as I type.

As I type, I'm realizing there are more people living in my neighborhood than I ever fathomed. I see them walking the streets - keeping appropriate social distance, of course. We're either going to be anti-social and agoraphobic when this is over, or else we'll be forever on the go. Right now my money is on the former.

Time will tell. I'm confessing that I'm starting out this second week a little weak in spirit. I have a heavy heart. A stress headache. Not outright panic, but dull and nagging despair. A little depression. And I know I'm not alone.