This one picture I don't recall taking pretty much captures the last days of December, and the title for this long overdue post. We had a mostly Merry Christmas, Teddy turned 17 much to my unexplained shock, and it was frigidly, bone chillingly cold so we spent a lot of time hanging out in the warmth and comfort of home during the break. That part..all the family of four time...actually was perfect.
When I say mostly what you already know is that the holidays are always heightened with emotion. The good and the bad. For the purpose of this space, I chose to illuminate the joy moments because I can. I'm not in denial and I'm not trying to curate the perfect life. I am aware of the fact that putting it on here or out there does little good for the hurt that will pass and the healing that will come with time. I try hard not to use this space as a forum for my grievances. Go back and read my previous post about words if you need more clarification.
There is only one gripe I'm giving time to on My Musings and it's blasphemous. We skipped church. We were over-scheduled on Christmas Eve and so planned to go Christmas morning. I should have known that wouldn't happen. It will never happen again because it left a gaping hole in my spirit.
Okay. One more complaint. Shopping for teenagers. They want to return everything. Even the things they picked out their very own selves. I paid $19 to return a Patagonia pullover I tried talking Teddy out of only to order the one I was suggesting in the first place. Lily actually asked to go to the mall on New Year's Day. We'd been twice during the week. I find it difficult to say no to that girl. I said NO. I want nothing to do with shopping for a very long time.
So onto the joy moments...the blessings, the abundance of happiness and the bright spots because those are the ones I want to put the shine on.
The week before Christmas I always want to hit the pause button. I already miss the twinkly lights and the feeling of good will. I turn the trees on first thing in the morning and let them glow until bedtime. The anticipation of what is to come lifts me up, and I selfishly want it to last all year. I'm known to stay up for a tree-side chat with my mom just before Christmas, but before I could invite her she came on her own. On the eve Eve we spent the day at home taking care of last minute preparations and all day Bing Crosby Christmas was playing on Pandora. Christmas carol after Christmas carol played until Too-Ra-Loo-Ra-Loo-Ral came on just when I was thinking of my mom and missing her terribly. It's an Irish lullaby not a carol and it's a song that connects me with my mom. I cannot explain the randomness of the song or the way I felt. It was the best gift of Christmas.
There were many others.
The gift of family: his, mine and ours.
(And one last gripe: we didn't get a family picture this year.)
There's also the gift of tradition. Traditions unite...they bring us closer. Every year I carry on my mom's tradition. She gave the kids a Li Bien ornament at Christmas for the tree. Now I carefully select the beautiful keepsakes and also the year's angel for myself. I have 9 angels. Sigh. My kids have 17 and 13 ornaments. Well, 16 and 12. One of Teddy's shattered a few years ago and this year, one of Lily's was a casualty.
Another tradition is Christmas crackers. The ones with the prizes inside. We all wear our crowns and act silly during our formal meal. This year my brother lit up the sky with real firecrackers before dinner. He put on quite the show so it may become a new tradition. And we're not talking sparklers. My brother and sil put on quite a dinner too.
One of my favorite traditions is our Christmas morning breakfast of Polish kielbasa and homemade cinnamon rolls. Now that the kids are older, we let them sleep in, open presents leisurely, and then make breakfast, which is more like lunch. While we're eating, we play a game. This year it was Teddy's white elephant grab (another fun family tradition). He ended up with a game called What do you Meme? I must confess that I bought it because according to the game barista, it's the game of the year. He just failed to mention it's R rated. It'll be a Christmas morning we won't soon forget. We certainly had a few laughs. Plenty of blushes too, but we've since edited the cards.
Santa is no longer a big tradition. It was confirmed that Lily is no longer a believer. Ted confessed that he's had his doubts since 4th grade after a heated Santa debate at his lunchroom table. It was the Jews versus the Christians. It makes me a little nostalgic, but I'll just have to find other ways to impart the Christmas magic.
This year we hoped to carry on a Christmas Day tradition we started last year: to stay home all day in our jammies. We had plans to play games, watch movies and order Chinese, but it didn't work out that way. We ended up accepting an invitation to stop by my brother's and then we kinda didn't leave for numerous hours. Ahem 7. We planned to say Merry Christmas and move on because they so generously and graciously entertained us the night before, but at Ted's persistence, we started a game of Monopoly that lasted for 4 hours. By the way, we were okay with that, and Lily and I won much to Ted's ultra-competitive dismay.
We had that lazy day the day after. Traditions shouldn't be rigid or set in stone. I was so happy to snuggle in with my new cookbooks and my new Ugg throw. It wasn't long before an almost forgotten pint of blueberries was calling my attention. I came across Smitten Kitchen's favorite blueberry muffin recipe and was called to the kitchen. Deb's almost spot on. I'll just add a little vanilla next time.
Teddy's birthday is two days after Christmas, and I'm reluctant to admit we're usually partied out. Not to mention that the past few years he's more interested in getting together with friends. It was a nice turn of events that the family got together for dinner. We braved the cold and scored a table at one of his favorite places. Then we came home for cake. Lily and I made him his beloved Tres Leches cake earlier in the day and that cake is another tradition. I think it was a good day for the birthday boy.
The rest of the week was very relaxing. We made hearty breakfasts in the morning and then we mostly grazed on leftovers, although Mike did treat us to homemade pizzas one night. The guys worked out a lot. Together. Lily and I watched a couple movies. Side by side. The kids had golf lessons. Indoors. We spent some time celebrating with friends. Drinks. Dinner. Before we knew it it was already New Year's Eve. We hosted a small gathering of some of our favorite people and it was a fun night with good friends.
New Year's Day we finally ordered the Chinese we'd planned to order on Christmas, and ignored the reality of work and school the next day until the last possible moment.
2017 was an interesting year. I'm cautiously optimistic about 2018. The house has been quiet this week, but my mind is revving up. I've a list a mile long, but thankfully I can rest a little easier knowing my holiday post is complete.
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