Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Everyday Life

I woke up this morning to the sound of thunder and the dense cloak of juiced air. I didn't want to get out of bed. Not even after more than 8 hours of sound almost dreamless sleep: sleep like the dead they say. I concur. Our bedroom felt like a moist meat locker: chilled, but still heavy with humidity. After 24 hours with no air conditioning, we were impatient and may have set the repaired thermometer somewhere below 70. Did I mention we're in a heat wave? Record breaking heat wave is what they say. 

I planned to get a workout in before work. With no one to get out the door but myself, I even thought I'd still get to work early after a few miles. The truth is I was 10 minutes late and I didn't break a sweat. Instead I lingered in bed, I read a few chapters and I brushed my boys. Best laid plans is all I've got to say.

The day felt agonizingly long. My focus was roving. My mood arbitrary, but intense. That translates as fragile. I'm feeling everything. Too much. All the time. It's overwhelming and exhausting.

So exhausting that I had to come home and chill out with a few chapters until I faded into an easy sleep. Mentally, I know what I need is to shut down. Reboot. When I wake after 20 maybe 30 minutes, it was to the sound of dueling mowers. It sounds like everyone on the block is out mowing at once. It sounds like summer. I feel like a hundred bucks. I'm aiming for a million.

After dropping Miss Bit at her softball practice, I stopped to catch a few innings of Ted's game. It's simpatico to catch up with the other moms. I forget how easy relationships are with the moms of boys. We are all on the same team just like our boys. 

The fog rolled in off the lake and the temperature plummeted at least 10 degrees. Suddenly we're shivering again and also reminded that a slight shift in direction can evoke big change. A slim shift in attitude can make a big difference as well. So can a kind word, a hug, an act of solidarity.

The boys lost their first game yet this season, but they'll play another game tomorrow against a big rival and we'll all be there to support them another night. They may win, they may lose, but all that's important as cliche as it sounds is that they show up, give their best and have lots of fun in the process. It's what I'm working toward myself.

No comments: