Thursday, May 12, 2016

two day pass

it's the eve of the next weekend and i'm finally writing about the last.
it's just the way things are right here right now.
all last week i felt a great deal of ambivalence about the weekend.
mother's day is now one of those days when i feel overcome with both joy and sadness.
grief and celebration show up in equal measure.
well, not exactly 50/50.
the heaviness sort of settled in refusing to ease or budge.
it doesn't help that my cousin is weathering a tough storm.
i have been trying to be present for her and her daughter as much as possible.
keep in mind that i am in wisconsin while they are in colorado and new york.
you see, mother's day is not just about my mom.
it's about all the wonderful and important women in my life.
they are just two of them.
it was fitting that mike almost had to drag me out for a walk at the end of friday.
my mood was foul and sour.
after a few miles on the beautiful night,  my disposition slowly sweetened.
until...until my leg felt like it was going to fall off and i promise i'm not being dramatic.
i decided to just go to bed.
to bed at 8 o'clock on a friday night.
i cannot explain any of it.
saturday things were a bit better.
i eased into the day well rested with my coffee and my novel and a still wonky leg.
lily spent the night with a friend so i figured i'd have the house to myself until at least mid morning.
you can say i was surprised when ted came barreling down the stairs after a single chapter.
he had a golf date before baseball.
i envy the energy it must take to play 18 holes and 14 innings.
we made it to our final bowling night of the season and quite possibly forever.
in looking back, we struggled to make it all season and our average attendance was only better than my average score.
said average that i blew outta the water saturday when i had the second best score of the night and won cash.
sunday we were so late to church that we had to sit in the balcony.
i almost cried as i ascended the stairway ready for a full on pity party.
but then there was a bit of an altercation that occurred exactly in our normal spot and i turned my annoyance to gratitude at avoiding that.
after mass, i lit so many candles for all those wonderful important women in heaven.
on the way out, father tim thanked me for being a wonderful mother.
the kids had their last sunday school of the year so mike and i quickly shopped brady street and then stopped for an americano at the aptly named pleasant cafe.
it was nice enough to sit outside and all the passersby were especially friendly.
we were invited for lunch at my in laws.
i brought a bottle of rose' and a batch of blueberry lemon pie bars which were as delicious as their name suggests.
the afternoon was really lovely.
my brother and sil stopped for a mother's day toast just before gloaming.
and just before the day expired, mike grilled the yummiest garlic sausages we picked up earlier at gloriosos.
after a quick dinner, there were cards and gifts.
i was quite blessed for the thoughtfulness of my family.
and the very last gift of the day was a facebook post written by an old friend.
she said such nice things about my mom and i sort of felt that at the end of the day
the prayers i said when i lit that candle for my mom were answered.

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