73

 

Happy Birthday Mom,

Today would have been your 73rd birthday. I'm pretty sure you would still look more like my sister than my mother. I still miss you every day.

I decided to walk the golf course with Lils today instead of attending your annual mass. She invited us to be spectators for the North Shore Championship match and that is an offer I'm quite sure you'd want me to take. In fact, she was playing for you. She didn't play as well as she wanted, but I was proud of the composure she showed the couple holes she struggled on. It was very windy and that was a challenge.

Life is full of challenges as we well know. I still hear your voice when I say, what doesn't kill you doesn't kill you. You never said, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I never say it either because it trivializes hardship and pain, and it's untrue. In the long run, suffering so often makes us softer. Softer as in vulnerable, empathetic and open-hearted.

Losing you at the time and in the way I did, has made me value my loved ones on a much deeper level. That's saying a lot because I have always lauded the people in my life. I no longer take these relationships for granted, I have no interest in holding grudges, and I love fiercely without condition. That is your legacy Mom.

Next year I'll be back in the pew beside Candace praying for you. Then we'll toast you at the Swinging Door after. She was there today. I got a text that they had no Miller Lite. We agreed that was a sign. You cannot toast alone.

Wink Wink,

Krissy