Not Me! Monday

I certainly did not take my kids to the neighborhood carnival yesterday with the sole intent of using up our remaining ride tickets. Then I did not buy $20 worth of additional tickets only to have to give them away because my son's friend developed a sudden and severe case of motion sickness.

The same Scrambler ride that did him in is most definitely not the same ride that my daughter almost passed out on the day before because we would never intentionally scare the wits out of her a couple of months before we are Disney-bound. My hubby did not implore the ride operator to stop the ride, let our daughter off and cheat every one else out of their fair share of dizzy fun.

I did not say a prayer and than excuse myself to the bathroom (not a gross porta potty) so I didn't have to watch when my Dad agreed to go on the scariest ride at the carnival with my 8 year old son.

There is no way that I passed up the opportunity to see The English Beat yesterday for free. And it simply is not true that their show was on just before Elvis Costello (not also free), so not one of my hubby's favorites. I am not passing up fun for sleep after a busy week of vacation.

Even though I had a quiet night at home, I sure didn't have trouble sleeping. I absolutely did not wake up at 5:00 a.m. and lay in bed until 7:00 a.m. just stressing about all of the things that had to happen before 9:00 a.m. today.

I was not at all relieved when my kids decided that they didn't want to decorate their bikes for the children's parade or walk with scouts or little league. I wasn't the least bit content to just sit on the curb with friends and critique the parade and its participants.

I'm sorry, but I didn't skip church yesterday in favor of a run.

I did not have or enjoy a television and computer-free weekend and it didn't make me feel like I had a lot more free time.

I did not take my kids for haircuts this week only for my hubby to tell me that he didn't notice any difference in their dos.

After watching a story on the news this morning about pool drains, I did not put graphic images of evisceration in my kids' minds because I don't believe in parenting with fear.

When the neighbor kids came over last night, I did not watch with nostalgia as an innocent game of wiffle turned into all the kids being in the pool clothes and all. The inner child in me did not secretly want to join them.

I did not just watch the 'evil empire' come back and score 10 runs in the bottom of the sixth inning to win the game 17-16! There is no way that I got tears in my eyes and then forgot all about the Brewers who were reeling from a certain win to an unbelievable loss.

I did not wear my favorite pink skirt again today... and it was not the third day in a row!

4th of July fireworks certainly did not literally scare the crap out of one of my cats.