Weekending

I really needed mass today. When I saw that it was Father Tim, it felt like a hug. It's the first time in a long time it's the four of us in one pew listening to his three things. In his is sermon today, he spoke of heaven being right here on earth. It's hard to fathom, especially given the way there seems to be so much disease, discontent and chaos in the world, but I do get it.

And speaking of heaven...we said goodbye to Tigger Friday morning. Letting go of a pet is never easy, but losing him was harder for me than any other furbaby. He was everyone's best friend, the heart of the house, the smartest, sweetest, softest cat I've ever known and loved. It's not dramatic to say I'm crestfallen even though this has been building. It's impossible to prepare for final goodbyes. I was there for his last breath. He went peacefully and then I couldn't bring myself to leave the exam room without him so I stayed for what felt like a really long time. I left with only a tuft of his fur and my tears.

I called Jess Friday evening to tell her. She told me that she was on her way to Casa Wags. She was already in the neighborhood and it struck me as a universe moment and also a very welcome distraction. I made a big pot of rigatoni and a quick red sauce along with an extra buttery loaf of garlic bread for the kids, Jess and me. We ate our feelings. Mike was at a neighbor's licking his wounds twice. The Badgers lost to Marquette.

Saturday was an off day. I was emotionally exhausted, but I managed to get a few things done and then Candace came bearing the most beautiful bouquet. As I was opening a bottle of wine for us to share, Ted lost the case study he'd been working on for two days straight and was about to send in. He also lost his composure. Candace decided not to stay. He accepted his situation quickly and got back to work. It was yet another lesson learned this year. Hit save. We ended up having a nice family fajita dinner after which we cozied in the family room watching tv and relaxing. It was just what I needed.

St Nick visited overnight. We didn't do stockings until after church because both kids wanted to work out before mass. Teenagers. I can remember the days when they couldn't wait to plow through them. Now other things take precedence. They both appreciated their annual ornaments: a dozen eggs and a chicken. He eats more eggs than anyone else I know and one of her nicknames is chicken. Then I appropriately made scrambled eggs with ham for brunch. Lils had chicken and Brussels sprouts. No joke.

Candace returned and we walked the river trails on the mild gray day both feeling extra grateful for the time to catch up, the ability to move, the breath of fresh air. I turned yesterday's stock into soup and got a loaf of pheasant bread proofing. Before dinner, we trimmed the tree. Mostly the girls with a little help from the guys. This year's fir is perfect, but smaller than usual. Sadly, we couldn't hang every ornament. Of course, the chicken and the eggs got prime real estate on the front of the tree. The four of us gathered around the island after the tree was trimmed for big bowls of chicken noodle soup that just might be one of my best batches ever if I don't say so myself. Lily's doing the dishes, the boys are wrestling and I am here. Not because I have anything riveting to share. Just because I want to capture these times, these ordinary days, this extraordinary life.

At weekend's end, I'm still feeling a bit off, a little happy and a little sad...happysad, but I'm definitely feeling grateful. That's a good place to be this time of year. A very good place.