Tuesday, October 19, 2010
True Confessions
Apparently, I was worried about Miss Bit for nothing this morning. She just whispered a little secret in my ear. "I have a boyfriend," she coyly shared. He told her he likes her. She told him she likes him. And I guess she told me because she has a friend!
Aha!
I've already had a few of these moments today and it's not even 9:00 in the morning yet.
Today T. Bone had to be at school a little early because the 4th graders have an exciting, all day field trip. Truthfully, I don't think my boy was anticipating the destination as much as the break from the normal Tuesday routine, or the peanut butter cups he packed in his bag lunch. Miss Bit and I headed over to the playground to pass the time before school. At first, the two of us were all alone on the playground. She warmed up and dried off the equipment while I cheered her on with one hand on my steaming mug of coffee and the other tucked all snug in my pocket. My first realization today was...dang it's cold! It felt like November...it is almost November (aha!).
Kids started arriving, and once the buses unloaded the playground was loud and packed. I sat on a bench and I watched my girl go back and forth and forth and back across every set of monkey bars despite the fact that her little hands felt like icicles. She came to me for a snuggle every once in awhile and I was happy to warm her up. Then she was off again only to tackle the bars two by two. I finally asked her if she saw any of her friends in the frenetic sea of pink (today is favorite color day). She spotted one. At my urging she finally initiated a 'hello,' but before long she was back at the monkey bars solo. It was then that it dawned on me (aha!) just why my girl's hands are covered in callouses: she spends every moment at recess alone on the monkey bars, and there are three recesses every day. The reality of changing schools has taken it's toll, yet I still believe it is the best thing hence the right thing for our family.
She came to me just before the bell was about to ring to confess with a quivering lip that she didn't want me to leave...that my leaving sometimes made her feel sad. Then she asked with a worried voice, "Mom, who will I live with when you die?" I understood in that moment just how much anxiety and fear this kind of rock my world change has presented to my children. I told my girl that by the time Mommy and Daddy go to heaven, she'll have a family of her own like I knew it to be a God-given truth. I suggested that she'll be a Mommy and have her own children with such confidence that you'd have thought I'd been gazing in a crystal ball. She smiled and seemed relieved. No one really wants to be alone. Not on the playground. Not in life.
The bell rang. She came in for one last hug and ran excitedly to get in line. I walked across the playground a quiet observer this morning. I saw many mom's I know waiting in line with their children. It made me think: I wanted to walk Miss Bit into school today...heck I wanted to walk her straight to the car and take her home, but she didn't need me to do that. She's the one who ran to line up with her class with a smile on her face. She didn't look back while I strained to see her for as long as I could, which was no small feat given the sea of pink swallowing the playground. Here's the thing: we need to give our children the security that comes from having deep roots, but we also need to give them the freedom that comes from having wings. Yes, it's really as simple as roots and wings, and they both take precious time to grow.
Today T. Bone had to be at school a little early because the 4th graders have an exciting, all day field trip. Truthfully, I don't think my boy was anticipating the destination as much as the break from the normal Tuesday routine, or the peanut butter cups he packed in his bag lunch. Miss Bit and I headed over to the playground to pass the time before school. At first, the two of us were all alone on the playground. She warmed up and dried off the equipment while I cheered her on with one hand on my steaming mug of coffee and the other tucked all snug in my pocket. My first realization today was...dang it's cold! It felt like November...it is almost November (aha!).
Kids started arriving, and once the buses unloaded the playground was loud and packed. I sat on a bench and I watched my girl go back and forth and forth and back across every set of monkey bars despite the fact that her little hands felt like icicles. She came to me for a snuggle every once in awhile and I was happy to warm her up. Then she was off again only to tackle the bars two by two. I finally asked her if she saw any of her friends in the frenetic sea of pink (today is favorite color day). She spotted one. At my urging she finally initiated a 'hello,' but before long she was back at the monkey bars solo. It was then that it dawned on me (aha!) just why my girl's hands are covered in callouses: she spends every moment at recess alone on the monkey bars, and there are three recesses every day. The reality of changing schools has taken it's toll, yet I still believe it is the best thing hence the right thing for our family.
She came to me just before the bell was about to ring to confess with a quivering lip that she didn't want me to leave...that my leaving sometimes made her feel sad. Then she asked with a worried voice, "Mom, who will I live with when you die?" I understood in that moment just how much anxiety and fear this kind of rock my world change has presented to my children. I told my girl that by the time Mommy and Daddy go to heaven, she'll have a family of her own like I knew it to be a God-given truth. I suggested that she'll be a Mommy and have her own children with such confidence that you'd have thought I'd been gazing in a crystal ball. She smiled and seemed relieved. No one really wants to be alone. Not on the playground. Not in life.
The bell rang. She came in for one last hug and ran excitedly to get in line. I walked across the playground a quiet observer this morning. I saw many mom's I know waiting in line with their children. It made me think: I wanted to walk Miss Bit into school today...heck I wanted to walk her straight to the car and take her home, but she didn't need me to do that. She's the one who ran to line up with her class with a smile on her face. She didn't look back while I strained to see her for as long as I could, which was no small feat given the sea of pink swallowing the playground. Here's the thing: we need to give our children the security that comes from having deep roots, but we also need to give them the freedom that comes from having wings. Yes, it's really as simple as roots and wings, and they both take precious time to grow.
Monday, October 18, 2010
On My Mind Monday
Well, it's a marvelous night for a Moondance
With the stars up above in your eyes
A fantabulous night to make romance
'Neath the cover of October skies
And all the leaves on the trees are falling
To the sound of the breezes that blow
And I'm trying to please to the calling
Of your heart-strings that play soft and low
And all the night's magic seems to whisper and hush
And all the soft moonlight seems to shine in your blush.
Van Morrison, Moondance
With the stars up above in your eyes
A fantabulous night to make romance
'Neath the cover of October skies
And all the leaves on the trees are falling
To the sound of the breezes that blow
And I'm trying to please to the calling
Of your heart-strings that play soft and low
And all the night's magic seems to whisper and hush
And all the soft moonlight seems to shine in your blush.
Van Morrison, Moondance
Sunday, October 17, 2010
ode to october
That's exactly what this weekend was: a living, breathing poem of praise celebrating my intense adoration of this tenth month.
Simmering soups and stews on the stove...creamy chicken chowder, a chili con carne that was tasty hot, one deliciously cheesy risotto.
Firing up the grill to sear some chicken breasts and salmon steaks.
Pumpkins galore...in decadent whoopie pies and also carved barefoot on a beautiful day with my best girl. Their plentiful seeds roasting away in the oven.
Football...on the field, in the yard, on the t.v. and over the radio.
Sunny walks...with a friend in the hills over the river, all alone along the lakefront, and in search of caterpillars with bug lovin' Lil Bit.
Leaves in piles begging to be jumped in and trees still filled with them in every hue of orange, red and yellow imaginable...vivid crimson, scarlet, ruby, magenta, puce, henna, auburn, chestnut, flame, ginger, copper, rust, sienna, saffron, mustard, canary, lemon, citrine, amber and chrome.
Naps...in the afternoon beside my best girl, hand in hand, sharing the same afghan and dreams.
Festive fall art projects...sorta spooky spiders, graveyards and ghosts...paints, crayons, glitter and glue.
Fuzzy flannel by night...flip flops by day. Sweatshirts and shorts.
A colorful mix of chilling and chores and cheering all while creating memories of bountiful happiness and ample time to harvest it.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Grateful Friday
Today I give thanks for...
The little things in life and how enormous they sometimes are.
Shopping with T. Bone for his Halloween costume. It was all about the voice changer. I think he would have been Ariel if that was the only costume that came with one! Hubby somewhat reluctantly agreed to be in my mariachi band. Miss Bit's nonplussed that I'm going to be a boy for Halloween. I'm all about the Pancho Villa mustache.
Miss Bit lying beside me in my bed after we were freshly jammied and cozy just chatting. She said, "It's nice having girl on girl talks. We should do this more often."
Hubby for joining Miss Bit, the star, for school lunch this week. He thought to bring her special treats. The first thing she told me when I picked her up was how sad she was he had to leave at all. Her lip started quivering just at the memory.
Celebratory chardonnay and Ceasar salads with my good friend yesterday at lunch.
Crock pot turkey breast. Seriously, rinse the bird, pat it dry, sprinkle it with a little s&p, place it in the crock, pour in a little broth, cook on low all day long and enjoy fresh, unprocessed turkey meat all week long.
A new spot in my family room. It's always been there, but I just discovered it.
The banana chip muffins I made this week were gone in 36 hours.
Foggy mornings.
T. Bone earned another perfect score on his second writing assignment of the year.
Hubby calling to tell me he liked my post on Wednesday. He doesn't leave comments, but he does read. In all honesty, it's awfully rare for me to leave comments too, but I'm working on it.
The chilean miners have been rescued. My friend asked me what was the one thing I was going to take away from this story?
Things that make me go hmmmm?
Running hills at the Audubon this week until my legs and lungs burned.
My bil was where he was, when he was last weekend to rescue a kitty in desperate need.
There are more good people in this world than bad people.
When kindness trumps evil.
Argyles.
Cook's Illustrated.
New to me foodie blogs.
Taking treats to the ladies in the school office this week. Men aren't the only ones to control through their tummies.
The little things in life and how enormous they sometimes are.
Shopping with T. Bone for his Halloween costume. It was all about the voice changer. I think he would have been Ariel if that was the only costume that came with one! Hubby somewhat reluctantly agreed to be in my mariachi band. Miss Bit's nonplussed that I'm going to be a boy for Halloween. I'm all about the Pancho Villa mustache.
Miss Bit lying beside me in my bed after we were freshly jammied and cozy just chatting. She said, "It's nice having girl on girl talks. We should do this more often."
Hubby for joining Miss Bit, the star, for school lunch this week. He thought to bring her special treats. The first thing she told me when I picked her up was how sad she was he had to leave at all. Her lip started quivering just at the memory.
Celebratory chardonnay and Ceasar salads with my good friend yesterday at lunch.
Crock pot turkey breast. Seriously, rinse the bird, pat it dry, sprinkle it with a little s&p, place it in the crock, pour in a little broth, cook on low all day long and enjoy fresh, unprocessed turkey meat all week long.
A new spot in my family room. It's always been there, but I just discovered it.
The banana chip muffins I made this week were gone in 36 hours.
Foggy mornings.
T. Bone earned another perfect score on his second writing assignment of the year.
Hubby calling to tell me he liked my post on Wednesday. He doesn't leave comments, but he does read. In all honesty, it's awfully rare for me to leave comments too, but I'm working on it.
The chilean miners have been rescued. My friend asked me what was the one thing I was going to take away from this story?
Things that make me go hmmmm?
Running hills at the Audubon this week until my legs and lungs burned.
My bil was where he was, when he was last weekend to rescue a kitty in desperate need.
There are more good people in this world than bad people.
When kindness trumps evil.
Argyles.
Cook's Illustrated.
New to me foodie blogs.
Taking treats to the ladies in the school office this week. Men aren't the only ones to control through their tummies.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
In The Air
The moment I willed myself awake this morning, it was apparent that fall returned overnight. That simple fact put a spring in this nostalgia junkies step. I'm inspired by longings and sentimental recollections what can I say? I managed to make T. Bone and Miss Bit's favorite lumberjack breakfast and they were all smiles as they scarfed it down. Sadly, I haven't pulled out the griddle since school started because we always seem to be short on time between sun- up and send-off. I must confess that I didn't want to get out of my super new super soft flannel pjs, but it's a blessing I had to or else I probably would have lounged in them for the duration of the day. For the record, I'm not against pajama days and am actually rather for them, but it was simply too beautiful to be a shut in today.
I had just enough time to get a latte - pumpkin spice - in between dropping the kids at school and having to return to read to Miss Bit's class. It was my privilege to share Piggie Pie with the first graders in honor of my star of week. It's a fall favorite in our house, and they were all laughing and enjoying the clever, silly story too. The bonus was that my girl wasn't embarrassed by my animated Gritch voice complete with creepy cackle. I almost didn't want to leave, but then I remembered what a sunny, crisp day was waiting for me and Mrs. R. said something about math...and well, I'm just not an arithmetic aficionado.
After a short stint at home to start dinner (a turkey breast in the crock pot that smelled like Thanksgiving all day long), I layered up and then I headed off over the river and along the winding roads for 6 miles. They were shorter than usual all because I cruised my path backwards, which is to say that the downhills were my uphills and right turns were left turns so I felt like it was all uncharted territory. I found that it's good and healthy to mix things up once in awhile.
And speaking of healthy, I steamed a big bowl of spinach to go with my grilled tomato mozzarella sandwich and was so satisfied by my lunch that I wasn't the least bit hungry until dinner. Hmmm...maybe because I took the time to actually plate my food and sit at the table to enjoy it. I baked muffins for today's after-school snack, scoured the bathrooms and did so many loads of laundry I lost count. And before I knew it, it was time to get in the pick-up line where I enjoyed a few pages of my novel as I waited for both my stars.
The days...they just seem to disappear. Time evaporates. Poof...day's done. It's all I can do to take care of the daily and weekly things I need to attend to: my house, my health, my family, although not in that order...at least not anymore. September ushered in back-to-school and I was perfectly primed to hit the ground running eager to cross off projects galore from my lists that multiply like busy bunnies. It seems like I've only added to them, but on days like today...I'm more than OK with that. I ask myself: self is it worth it to strip my mud room's hideous wallpaper in lieu of a long walk? Does it make sense to skip baking...preparing home cooked meals for my family in order to purge our dressers and closets? Do I want to sacrifice sanity for a perfect house? Are obligations more weighty than tuggings of the heart and mind, or spirit and soul? No, no, no and no! It's one of those days where I feel free to embrace what to me really matters. Days are short and life not much longer so I'm happy for these moments of clarity. No rose colored glasses. No, just honest to goodness true to who and what deserves my limited time and finite energy.
I had just enough time to get a latte - pumpkin spice - in between dropping the kids at school and having to return to read to Miss Bit's class. It was my privilege to share Piggie Pie with the first graders in honor of my star of week. It's a fall favorite in our house, and they were all laughing and enjoying the clever, silly story too. The bonus was that my girl wasn't embarrassed by my animated Gritch voice complete with creepy cackle. I almost didn't want to leave, but then I remembered what a sunny, crisp day was waiting for me and Mrs. R. said something about math...and well, I'm just not an arithmetic aficionado.
After a short stint at home to start dinner (a turkey breast in the crock pot that smelled like Thanksgiving all day long), I layered up and then I headed off over the river and along the winding roads for 6 miles. They were shorter than usual all because I cruised my path backwards, which is to say that the downhills were my uphills and right turns were left turns so I felt like it was all uncharted territory. I found that it's good and healthy to mix things up once in awhile.
And speaking of healthy, I steamed a big bowl of spinach to go with my grilled tomato mozzarella sandwich and was so satisfied by my lunch that I wasn't the least bit hungry until dinner. Hmmm...maybe because I took the time to actually plate my food and sit at the table to enjoy it. I baked muffins for today's after-school snack, scoured the bathrooms and did so many loads of laundry I lost count. And before I knew it, it was time to get in the pick-up line where I enjoyed a few pages of my novel as I waited for both my stars.
The days...they just seem to disappear. Time evaporates. Poof...day's done. It's all I can do to take care of the daily and weekly things I need to attend to: my house, my health, my family, although not in that order...at least not anymore. September ushered in back-to-school and I was perfectly primed to hit the ground running eager to cross off projects galore from my lists that multiply like busy bunnies. It seems like I've only added to them, but on days like today...I'm more than OK with that. I ask myself: self is it worth it to strip my mud room's hideous wallpaper in lieu of a long walk? Does it make sense to skip baking...preparing home cooked meals for my family in order to purge our dressers and closets? Do I want to sacrifice sanity for a perfect house? Are obligations more weighty than tuggings of the heart and mind, or spirit and soul? No, no, no and no! It's one of those days where I feel free to embrace what to me really matters. Days are short and life not much longer so I'm happy for these moments of clarity. No rose colored glasses. No, just honest to goodness true to who and what deserves my limited time and finite energy.
Monday, October 11, 2010
On My Mind Monday
'This is the worst part,' she told me once. 'You're holding your breath, thinking it's still ahead, but this really is the worst of it, for you and for her.' At the same time words had not soothed me; I could imagine nothing worse than the moment my mother no longer drew air in and out of her lungs, no longer took us in through her weary eyes. I could imagine nothing worse than not being able to look at her face every day, its beauty grossly distorted but never abadoning her. But in the days after her death I realized Mrs. Gharibian had been right, there had been nothing worse than waiting for it to come, that the void that followed was easier to bear than the solid weight of those days.
Jhumpa Lahiri - Year's End
This is true at times, but most minutes I know I'd have given anything to have one more day with my Mom. She didn't use her beach towel much during our last family vacation, but it saddens me not to have to pack it at all anymore.
I just finished Unaccustomed Earth - I very much enjoyed this collection of thought provoking, touching and short stories.
Jhumpa Lahiri - Year's End
This is true at times, but most minutes I know I'd have given anything to have one more day with my Mom. She didn't use her beach towel much during our last family vacation, but it saddens me not to have to pack it at all anymore.
I just finished Unaccustomed Earth - I very much enjoyed this collection of thought provoking, touching and short stories.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
