It's Going to be a Day

Today's going  to be a day. Here's how I know. I woke from a dream that I still owned my mom's house and that it was still filled with all of her things. It was much more involved and convoluted than I'll divulge here, but there really is no need for interpretation. The meaning is quite clear. I am listening.

I'm listening to jazz as I write, and thinking about changing the station when Canon in D comes on. Wink. Nod. Pachelbel's song, my wedding processional, it's not exactly jazz. I'm all ears.

I'm well aware of the ways the universe communicates with us and I've always been open to receiving the messages. I cannot say I know exactly where they hail from, but I can say that I find them healing, comforting and hopeful. There are a couple of things I know for sure. The first is that I am a spirit having a human experience. The second is that my spirit is composed of energy and energy may change form, but it never dies. Dreams, deja vu, signs...they are connections across realms. At least that's what I believe.

And speaking of connections, Ted is having a tough time getting back into his college life after a five week break. Of course he is. It's like starting over. When he's struggling, I'm struggling. I'm mama bear and I want to protect him. It's an unnerving feeling that my options are limited to my ears and my voice at this point. The thing is that's what he needed. Someone to listen, validate, and offer a short pep talk. He asked me questions about my life in college. I went back to those erstwhile days with an discerning mind. What sticks so many years later are the shiny parts...all the fun we had. In digging deeper, I uncovered some of the more difficult memories. I too lived with a complete stranger my freshman year. We became good friends, but I was lucky. For every captivating, mind bending lecture there were many sleepers. Literal sleepers. There was loneliness and homesickness. I had my heart broken, but I also found the love of my life. In the year between,  I swore off serious dating, lived in a house with 75 hormonal girls and really found my people. A sisterhood within the sisterhood. A tight group of women the least likely to be in a sorority, and yet we were.

Ted's looking for his people. He's blessed with what he calls his "squad" here at home and he misses that. He's also noticing things about himself. His insecurities, strengths and weaknesses. He confessed that he's living more for the future. He actually said, "I feel like I'm not living for the now." I'm a be here now believer, but I also know how challenging it can be at any stage of life. I have to remind myself to be in the moment every day...several times a day. Now, I'll remind him too.

He's feeling lighter. He made a couple decisions and he's got some plans. That means I'm feeling lighter too, but always in the back of my mind I'm aware of how fragile even strong people are. I'm reminded how vulnerability is a gift of incredible trust. I'm feeling all the feels today for what was, what is and what will be.