The Eve Eve

It's a cozy morning. Chilly, gray, quiet. The house is full and asleep. I'm slowly sipping my coffee and planning my day. It's the day of loose ends and I have a hefty list. On it are the usual suspects like shopping, wrapping and baking. There will be some cookie deliveries (before they all disappear) and a flower drop off to a special birthday girl. I did a good job keeping the lid on things this year, but I know myself and these days before Christmas I get the bug to give, give, give. There are certainly worse afflictions that shall remain nameless here today.

The anticipation is starting to build. For what exactly, I am unsure. We may have to pivot and host at Casa Wags and I am resigned to whatever will be will be. It seems to be the mantra for 2021. That means shopping might be on my list tomorrow too. Que sera sera.

I'm off through the new year. I haven't had a whole week off since before this endemic. It's my own doing, and it's long overdue. Of course, I was taking care of business this morning and I have to drop in the office later for a minute, but I'm okay with that because I love and am grateful for my job. I'm also proud of my little company that survived and even thrived these last two years.

We are blessed in many ways and boy do I know it. Feel it. I've been quiet here because I have been savoring these moments. I get to this place every year, but I have to say that this year is different. Now don't expect me to define different, just trust me. It's a very humble contentment. I felt it strongly in church last week when we sang O Come Emmanuel. It is a favorite because of the way it makes me feel. Hopeful, devout, awed. 

Last weekend was busy with seasonal preparations too. That meant lots of time with Lily and that is some of the best time. We baked, decorated our sugar cookies that taste better than they look, and made Chicken Wild Rice Soup (delish) together after our shopping spree (successful).

Saturday night I heard an owl outside my bedroom window before I drifted off, and then Sunday I saw a bald eagle fly through the yard. Tuesday was the longest night of the year and I always think of Adrienne Rich's words: We are moving towards the solstice and there is still so much I do not understand. I'm okay with not knowing. The wonder that I see and the awe I feel are plenty enough.