Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

Nine hours of glorious sleep last night. Not dreamless, but peaceful.

All the windows are flung open this morning. Welcoming fresh air, birdsong and even the sound of that damn yellow bus still perfecting its route.

I survived shoe shopping with Lily last night. Shopping with her is a lesson in patience these days. She is very particular and indecisive, and she really doesn't want or trust my opinion.

Grandma texted this morning to see if Lily would like to golf or school shop today. I'm thinking she's going to accept the latter offer and I'm hopeful she can pick up the few must have before school starts items that are still on her list. See above.

Golf couldn't be better. Well, it could always be better, but she's having fun and doing well. She's played in 2 JV matches and 1 varsity. She did not feel honored to be moved up, only annoyed and petrified, and yet she texted the coach of her own volition that night to thank him for the experience. I picked her up from practice last night and as she slid in her seat she declared her swing was fixed. It made me chuckle just knowing that Teddy is constantly fixing this swing or that. Welcome to the sport sister!

She kind of blew off my questions about freshman orientation yesterday saying it was no big deal, but then she confessed to me later that it finally hit her that she's going to a new school and that everything will be unfamiliar. I kept my mouth shut even though I wanted to chime in that this is exactly why they have the ninth graders spend the day walking the halls, dry running their schedules and meeting their teachers.

A new set of sheets. We were long overdue. I just happened upon a pair of nice ones on sale and in the exact shade of aqua that I need and love. I came home washed them and put them right on.

Fun family jaunts to both Chicago and Michigan this month. I love road trip adventures with my family and then coming home where our hearts and cats are.

How comfortable my aunt and uncle make us and how entertained they keep us.

I changed things up and walked my old route yesterday. It's farther and further so it takes more commitment. It was a welcome change of pace.

Lily and I stopped by to wish my aunt a happy birthday yesterday. One of her gifts was this beautiful bouquet Lily picked out at the farmer's market. After the scare she recently gave us, I feel like celebrating her extra this year.

The farmer's market. Lily and I made such a haul that our arms were aching when we got to the car. 

The fresh produce inspires me. I have some new recipes I want to try out this weekend. They involve zucchini and eggplant and cabbage and tomatoes and peaches and blueberries.

This book buddy. Lily finally finished her summer reading assignment. She cut it to the wire. Yet her brother is sitting beside me working on a Spanish paper and stats homework as I type.

My current stack. I read Everything Happens For a Reason on the way to Michigan. It was a quick read, but arguably not the best memoir I've read lately. While away, I filled in with some Lorrie Moore. Short stories are great for stolen moments. Some were better than others as is usually the case with any compilation. I started McLain's Love and Ruin on the way home. Although I am a sucker for a salacious Hemingway story, I haven't picked it up since I've been back. It's just been that kind of week.

A long holiday weekend ahead.

Now

I woke up this morning in the dark. I didn't trust my alarm clock because it hasn't been used all summer. I set the alarm on my phone and put it right under my pillow. I also didn't trust myself. Lily is at freshman orientation right now. Reality is setting in. School is starting. Ninth and Twelfth grades for my two. Her first year...his last.

As if on cue, the school bus is tooling around the neighborhood while I'm here typing. The dry run. That yellow bus stirs things deep and complicated within me. It's a symbol of leaving. A prelude to goodbye. Hello too, but I'm not focusing on that now. This is my few stolen moments to wallow and give in to nostalgia. I'm taking my time.

I just ran my hand through Tigger's fur. He's cool to the touch from sitting at the open patio door on chipmunk patrol. The doors haven't been open much this month. We've been sealed in. It's been too hot and humid. Mother Nature also seems to have gotten the memo: summer's almost over. Right now...I long for it to last forever. This is my weather, but I don't want it yet.

Ah, but if there's a pause button, I've yet to find it. Instead I try my best to embrace the moment. To smile and be here now. To live gratefully and to be present not prescient. Also to forgive myself for all the things we didn't get to. I have to train my eye on the things, experiences, places we did. They deserve their due.

At the farmer's market yesterday we stocked up on all our favorites knowing that they are in short supply. I even bought tomatoes and jalapenos, and we're growing them in our yard. But I want more. I bought not one, but two bursting bouquets of flowers. Every week I think, this is it...there can't be more. I tell you, one stand already has apples. It's that time of year when some of the zucchini are the size of large houses. Pumpkins and gourds will flank the stands all too soon. I just can't.

My friend Sylvia recently told me that the years she was raising her children were her very happiest. She's 99. She's had many good years, but she still looks back longingly at that stretch of time. I nod my head in agreement because I have no words and I know these are special, even sacred, times. The 4 of us together under the same roof every day, around the same table every night. Coming and going, but always returning. I know I'm going to miss this, but I also know that if I rue and lament and look back, I'll really miss it.

That's the challenge: to live in the here and now not stuck behind or lured forward. This is the day that the lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. There's a reason Father Tim begins every sermon with Psalm 118:24. It's so simple and necessary and true.

weekending

we left on thursday for a road trip to the other side of the lake.

west michigan is a great vacation spot, but we're not lured by the dunes or the lighthouses.

we make this trek most summers to visit my aunt and uncle.

we drove straight through to st. joe's, michigan where it is tradition to stop at big boy.

we have an annual standing order.

i look forward to my swiss miss for 364 days.

my big boys.

the annual ascending order family photo.

we made good time and rolled in just in time for happy hour.

a little end of day fishing too.

we stayed in for dinner and played a game of wits and wagers after dessert.

the guys had an early morning tee time friday.

the girls headed south to saugatuck for sight seeing and shopping.

the streets were lined with cute shops, eateries and galleries.

we browsed them all, and found some gems.

lily got a few cute things for back to school.

i bought locally made goodies for loved ones back home, and a new clock for my wall.

it started to rain so we ducked in the butler inn for lunch.

i enjoyed my perch sandwich and view of the channel.

the guys had butch's beach burritos, a must eat when in town.

we all met up for dinner at another grand haven must eat...fricanos.

the pizza is so frickin' good.

we ordered 5 pizzas for 6 people and we came home with 1.

saturday the guys headed out for more golf.

the girls stopped at the farmers market to stock up on local produce:

5 pounds of plump blueberries and 8 pounds of juicy red haven peaches.

then we walked along the channel on the boardwalk out to the beach.

it was a broody day and the sky was spitting.

the red flag was out because the waves were 10 footers,

yet there were surfers in the swells.

and i was too chicken to walk the length of the pier.

there was no line for pronto pups and so we enjoyed tempura dipped and fried hot dogs for breakfast on the way.

when in michigan...

we were a little soggy, but we decided to stay and shop in quaint grand haven.

we tasted wine and cheese and patricia's chocolates too.

the salted butter was the stand out this year.

gelato was for lunch.

followed by a nap.

all very appropriate vacation behavior btw.

my uncle brought out boxes of old family photos before we took them to dinner.

there were a gazillion of my grandpa's time in the service in europe.

he wrote on the back of almost every snapshot.

although i never met him, reading his comments made me feel like i knew him.

he had a sense of history and a sense of humor.

we headed out for dinner at the paisley pig.

it was fine.

i should have ordered the white fish.

one day i'll learn.

sunday we hit the road after breakfast.

i felt ready to head home, but sad to be leaving.

this trip was different.

it's as if i'm finally getting to know and appreciate my aunt and uncle as people and not just my mom's brother and sister in law.

we made good time and rolled into milwaukee mid afternoon.

the boys were so very happy to see us as you can see below.

we, of course, were happy to see them too.

teddy was home for a nano second before going to workout with friends.

lily left for a golf team dinner.

mike threw some brats on the grill and we caught up on sharp objects.

it was a good and full stretch of days.
next year we'll have to road trip earlier in the season because we'll be sending ted off to college.
that was heavy on my mind too.
we're entering a season of lasts.
starting with this last week of summer vacation 2018.

Lucky Girl

  Evidence of a day that made me feel quite celebrated and blessed beyond measure.

There was a birthday day dinner with my parents, some wine (a little pink and a little red), many thoughtful gifts, several bouquets, two cakes and one almost full moon.

I think it's going to be one great year.

Happy Birthday to Me.

When I went to bed last night already another year older, the sky was lit up with long flashes of lightning and rumbling laboriously with thunder. The intense overnight storm left us a wet and dreary morning. It's perfect really. Perfect for introspection...self-reflection...contemplation. It's what I'm called to do on this day each year. It is my own personal new year and I don't welcome it lightly. I know it's a gift so I am grateful. I can tell you the last year has been a challenge and so I'm humbled. It is my feeling that there is not enough gratitude or humility in the world. I offer this observation to say that I am in a mostly good space.

The trials...they've tested me, taken me far out of my comfort zone, taught me important things about myself and others and oddly enough, they've given me strength: strength in spirit not the brawn of a powerful body. A steadfastness I know I will have to call on in the upcoming months as I continue to parse out and prune this path I'm on.

It's easy to be critical of all the bad decisions and wrong turns in my past, but I'm trying to see them as character building lessons. It's true that I feel bigger things could have...should have been in my past, but those visions of grandeur pale in comparison to the success I feel as a mother. Being a mother gives my life beautiful, bountiful meaning.  I am proudest of my two. And I will take some credit in the fact that the best kind of people they are is not an accident.

They will be my finest legacy, but I plan to keep living my life in such a way that there will be more to my heritage to make me proud. Not because I seek the praise and attention of others, but because I need to prove it to myself. Important things are in my future. Important to me.

A Day in the City

Actually, not a whole day. Just 12 jam-packed hours in the city. So a whirlwind in the Windy City, which wasn’t at all breezy. A little air movement would have been welcome, but instead it was hot, heavy and humid. We took the train down and I’d forgotten how easy that makes this day trip. It was the commuter train so we made numerous stops. The kids started to get antsy, but I like the journey: seeing all the little towns, imagining what the people boarding are going to the city to see and do, letting the anticipation build.

We decided on the way down that our first stop would be breakfast at Lou Mitchell’s, which is a few blocks from the station and known for their diner fare. We stood outside the station staring at our phones trying to get our GPS calibrated looking very much like clueless tourists. Jared swept in and offered to walk us there and declared that we didn’t even have to pay him. He was a friendly, knowledgeable guide. Teddy liked him instantly and will talk about him for years. Of course, we paid him. We did not pay the $8.95 price tag for a single egg, however. Teddy will likely talk about that too. He had banana pancakes instead. The allure of this dive is that it’s the start of Route 66, which of course, ends in California.

After we completed the trivia and ate our meals, we made our way to the Willis Tower and were ever so pleasantly surprised by the lack of a line, but a tad disappointed by the lack of a view. We were warned that we could expect to wait hours to get to the top of the tallest building in the Western Hemisphere…103 floors. Obviously, we overlooked the fact that it was a foggy, cloudy day. We ascended into the sky in 60 short seconds and were welcomed by a world white washed. Our heads were literally in the clouds, and it was eerie and otherworldly and cool. Perhaps, we couldn’t see the distance of a clear day, but it was still quite an experience. We waited in line to go out on one of the glass ledges. It was a rush to stand over the city and I’m not usually fond of heights. I don’t think I need to do this again, but Ted and I both thought it’d be fun to visit at night. Next time, we’ll try the Observation Deck at the John Hancock Building. It’s not quite as high in the sky, but it has a frightening feature called The Tilt.

One of my favorite moments was watching an Amish family experience the ledge. The juxtaposition of their simple, traditional life off the land struck me against this wonder of steel and technology. They just stood in the box quiet, reverent or maybe in disbelief. No pictures, no poses, no posturing.

Teddy was into walking the streets, and I agree it’s the best way to see the city…to get your bearings…to get its feel. We made our way to Millennium Park so the boys could see The Bean. They were underwhelmed by the metal sculpture,and more interested in the loud, low flying planes.  While we walked around the park, we finally saw the fighter planes we heard above the clouds on the walk over. They were weaving in between sky scrapers half hidden by the misty air.

We took an Uber to the Adler Planetarium because that’s what the kids decided to do. I had originally set a different agenda, but they both wanted to visit the planetarium and it’s not often they agree so I was good with it. They seemed to enjoy it. Mike and I had a nice nap and learned that Pluto is no longer a planet. What the what!?!

  

  

After a couple hours there, we took another Uber to Navy Pier. We had a snack at Tiny’s and the kids did a cool, “very scary” maze. No one wanted to ride the ferris wheel. I don’t need to go back to the Pier any time soon unless I’m catching a boat. Most of the water tours leave from the Pier. Mike and I wanted to take the architectural tour, but the kids vetoed it. Another time.

We took an Uber to Giordano’s for the deep dish, stuffed pizza experience. They weren’t lying when they said that the pizza takes an hour to bake. We had an hour and a half before the train left. It was the last train of the night. We inhaled the za, which was delicious and better than Gino’s IMO, and then we made a mad dash to the train station. After a few blocks, we realized we were headed in the wrong direction. We corrected course and had a very tense 10 minutes. We just made the train. I felt like we were on The Amazing Race.

At that point the kids had enough family time so they climbed to the upper deck and sat several seats apart. The ride home was long (like 2 hours long), but I was doing character study for future stories so it was worth it. There were many characters in our car that night. I got some good material.

We had an hour ride after the train trip so we pulled into the driveway well after midnight. We were exhausted and dirty, but happy to have shared the day’s adventure and also to know that we will do it again and soon.