Late Winter Inventory

It's been awhile since I've put together an inventory. I especially like to capture what I've read and any new recipes I've tried here. It's a great way to keep a running record.

Reading: I've been reading prolifically. I blame that a bit on the season as in the weather and the season as in my life: winter and unemployment. I started Idaho yesterday and am about halfway through it. It's growing on me.

I'm also about halfway through Katrina Kenison's lastest memoir. Magical Journey was published in 2013. I've been saving it and now I'm savoring it.

I'm also reading Silence in the Age of Noise and relating to this manifesto profoundly. I'm almost through it despite the fact that I've taken my time with it so the thoughts and feelings permeate...set in.

I'm listening to The Woman in the Window while I walk. It's a light Hitchcockian thriller that I've really enjoyed until today. I'm about halfway through and I found myself annoyed by the lack of plot and the redundancy, but then I guess the Master of Suspense is known for revealing as little as possible. I just hope I haven't figured it out.

The Immortalists stands out as the best fiction I've read this year. Yes, all two months of it. Less thought provoking, but somewhat entertaining choices are The Arrangement and The Wife Between Us. They qualify as decent beach reads. My Absolute Darling was disturbing, and yet I'd recommend it to those who can stomach difficult material because Turtle is a character you will never forget. A Man Called Ove was disappointing and rather dull although I appreciated the ending.

The star of the memoir category was Kelly Corrigan's Tell Me More. I wanted more. And I want to be her or at least her friend. I give varying amounts of  praise to The Girl with Seven Names, Nourished, and The Only Girl in the World each for vastly different reasons. Hyeonseo Lee's story of defection from North Korea was timely, but not as compelling as I was expecting and there were many holes. I couldn't shake the feeling that she was reckless rather than courageous.  Lia Huber's food and faith memoir was a bit whiny, but it inspired me to cook. I tried a few of the recipes and there were others I wanted to try, but didn't get to. Maude Julien's story was dark, but redemptive. I think all three of these had issues with voice.

The winner in the poetry category is hands down Devotions. Mary Oliver everyday always forever. Rapi Kuar's the sun and her flowers and milk and honey round out the category. I preferred the former.

Mother Land was sent back to the mother ship (Amazon's Audible) because after months of trying to get into it, I simply had to get rid of it. The characters were insufferable and the story slow. I was surprised that they took it back after months of it sitting on my cue.

Eating: #krissywskitchen has been busy. Attributable again to the time of year and the current circumstances of life. Comfort food has been the focus and cast iron cooking a recurring theme for all meals including desserts. Last month we discovered the Skillet Cookie and our lives will never be the same. It's a one bowl, one pan hot out of the oven treat that I'm still tweaking to get just right. I made the kids' favorite French Silk Pie for Valentine's Day. It's an annual tradition because #foodislove. I tried a recipe for a French Chocolate Cake that became my sister-in-law's birthday treat. I followed Deb's recipe to a tee and I loved the intensely chocolate flavor and the crumbly texture. The icing on the cake hit was the chocolate whipped cream, which was light and perfect with fresh raspberries. Just last week I decided to make Focaccia. I doubled this recipe for my 12 inch skillet and omitted the rosemary and it was perfect: crunchy on the bottom, soft inside and a little crusty on top. Half the round was gone before dinner as my family kept coming in and stealing slices. New in our pasta rotation is this Orecchiette with Bacon and Lemon Cream recipe. It's easy and surprisingly light. I add peas and a little fresh Parmesan. And I need to tell you that this method for rendering bacon is the only way I will do it from here on out.

Watching: Well, I'm not proud to admit this, but I got sucked into The Bachelor this season. It was so weird. He was weird and I didn't understand his relationships. Plus, I was so tired of him saying, "I love that," and then going in for the awkward kiss. I think he picked Lauren who appeared to have the personality of a wet noodle because she so closely resembles Emily. She broke his heart the last time he was on the show. His break-up with Becca was cringe-worthy, but I guess they signed up for this. She seemed to get over him in a nano second leading me to believe she's really in it to find fame...not love. I'm still loving This is Us, How to Get Away With Murder and Survivor. I'm thinking about starting The Crown because everyone is raving about it, and I'm tempted to order Showtime so we can catch this latest season of Homeland. I casually watched the Academy Awards last week and I was perplexed. I didn't see The Shape of Water, and I didn't care for Three Billboards. I wanted to see Call Me by Your Name, and I loved Ladybird. Get Out was fine, but Oscar worthy? Not imo. I'm sure I'll see Darkest Hour, Phantom Thread and The Post at some point. I guess I was just not feeling it this year.

Lily and I saw and loved Waitress in January. It was a delicious show.

Listening to: When I'm home during the day, I like the house silent. No music, no television. I tune into the meditative rhythm of the clocks counting away the seconds and in the past week, I feel lifted up by vibrant birdsong that's filling the yard. When I'm fragile, I steer clear of the songs.

Feeling: Fragile. It's been a tough couple months for various reasons. I have unresolved feelings about many things. I'm hurt and sad that I haven't heard from my dad since December. I reached out in January via a note that I thought was a kind and thoughtful gesture. Nothing. It's what I got in return. I suppose that the valuable lesson in this - what I need to take away - is that I will never put my children in this position because I know how it feels. I'll never turn my back on them or abandon them. I think what hurts the most is that I confessed to him that I really need my dad right now and he's still choosing to be absent. I don't understand it because for as long as I live, I know when my kids say they need me, I'll be there with bells on no matter what. The situation with my cousin is still not 100% resolved. I responded to her email after the holidays in what I thought was a thoughtful manner. Carefully because I don't trust her, but also without anger or accusation. She fired back angry. Angry because I'm not letting her manipulate me and cross boundaries anymore. I shut down and didn't respond. There's no point because I realize that I do not want a relationship with her right now and maybe never. That has been weighing on me because she is family and she is contacting other family members trying to stab me and sway them. There's a whole lot I want to say, but I won't.

Wanting: Peace in my family. A job that I love working with good people I respect. Creative energy. Confidence. Clarity. A crystal ball would be nice.

Thinking: About the kind of legacy I want to leave here on earth, and trying hard to convince myself it's not too late to think big.

Loving: The way Peanut snuggles up with me after the morning rush. I enjoy my coffee and my book and he enjoys being close. The funny noises Tigger makes when he's surprised in his sleep. The way Teddy walks around speaking Spanish all the time or singing loudly. Lily's texts. She's in D.C. on her class trip and she's giving me the play by play. She's having an absolute blast. The way my husband has given me the perfect combination of support and space lately as I'm working hard to figure things out. My family.