One Day at a Time

Teddy's at his second to last exam. He's on track to get straight As with honor's classes his hardest year of high school. Lily's got a perfect report card too. Proud! She just left for her last day of middle school. There won't be any academia today though. She'll enjoy a graduation breakfast and then they'll practice for tonight's promotion ceremony. I am mostly excited for this transition. Middle school has not been my favorite. I mean the school was wonderful and the teachers the cream of the crop, but these years, particularly the last two, have been difficult. Especially so for my daughter who is an empath like me. I'm not in denial about the fact that just about all these same girls kids are going together to the high school, but high school is a very different animal. Things are going to change for every single one of these boys and girls. They will all be tested.

When I picked her up yesterday at 3:20, I felt equal parts relief and jubilation. There was no use or need for Kleenex despite the fact I've been here at this same time for the past 7 years first to retrieve Ted and then Lil. Endings almost always leave me weepy. Apparently, I'm ready to move on too. I'm not particularly a fan of the school pick-up line either, but that's a whole different story.

Next year they'll both be in high school. Ted will be able to drive his sister to school every morning. Joy! When we chose open enrollment 8 years ago, we committed to getting them to and from school. It was worth it even though the day we would no longer need to chauffeur seemed too far in the future to imagine. Well, it's here.

It's here and I don't have a Hello my name is Julie McCoy summer itinerary planned. I'm not the least bit worried about Teddy. He has a job and a car. I worry about Lily because she has very little planned and no car. I guess we're taking it day by day, which is sort of the way I've been living my life this past 6 months and I'm feeling pretty good about it. It being life.

We'll forge ahead and find our way...our groove.

 I only have 3 rules this summer.

1. Clean up after yourself.
2. Text me your whereabouts when you leave the house.
3. No using the B word. I have no patience for people who say they are bored. It's a luxury to be bored.

Oh, and one more:

4. Don't kill one another.

We're set-up for success, or at least survival.

I'm off to hit the trails on this beautiful morning. It's my last solo morning until September. Most years I hit pause right about now. I savor the solitude with an extra cuppa while I read and write, otherwise known as dreaming and purging. But the thing is that I've been getting an insane amount of peace and positivity from logging miles lately. If I start my day cruising through the woods along the river, I feel like I can conquer the world even if I only conquer the day.

weekending

friday night my book club gathered first around my island and then around my table where we devoured my persian dinner as well as the book.

i put a lot of thought into the night because both entertaining and reading are passions of mine.

when i am able to combine them, it is a happy day.

on the menu: yogurt and saffron soaked chicken kabobs with grilled sweet and hot peppers, saffron rice, mediterranean vegetable salad with feta, assorted olives, naan with yogurt & spinach spread and classic tzatziki. 

i planned to make barbari, which is iranian flat bread, but in taste test runs i realized that it is best hot out of the oven.

there was no way i was proofing, kneading and baking loaves of bread with a houseful of guests.

for a nano second i thought about putting the ladies to work, but i am sort of anal about a tidy kitchen when i'm having a party.

for dessert i baked an almond and pistachio cake with cardamom, which i topped with whipped almond cream and fresh berries.

i checked out books on persian food from the library to learn about the cuisine and set a menu.

given the diverse group, i decided to keep the choices on the less exciting side of exotic.

i had to buy some spices (saffron, cardamom and turmeric) as well as a small mortar and pestle to grind the saffron.

this was not difficult or too expensive (minus the wine).

i opened up discussion when we sat down to eat.

usually we go around and grade the book or say whether or not we liked it.

not surprising, the meal was more popular than the book.

i came up with questions (about 20) and put them in a bowl to pass hoping to urge everyone to share.

as is usually the case in any group, some of us are quieter than others.

(not me.)

i thought prompts would give everyone a voice.

the bowl never made it all the way around the table.

that's a bit of a disappointment because our conversation still gets log jammed and also i put a great deal of time and thought into generating thought provoking, discussion lending material.

(it's the english major in me.)

i don't think this is going to be that kind of book club and that's that.

it's a good group. we've had some decent discussion and fun times. we've also shared some nice bottles of wine.

and i look forward to our august discussion of an american marriage, a book i rather loved and cannot wait to talk about.

saturday i was up early to finish cleaning up the kitchen.

mid-morning i was leveled by a wicked headache.

see above...wine.

i was also feeling a little sensitive.

the empath in me is often overwhelmed after group gatherings. 

8 ladies is a whole lot for me.

i take in and on so much that i need to process and ponder.

it is mentally and physically draining.

most people don't understand this.

heck, i didn't understand it for most my life.

it is a select few i open up to about my feelings on energy and intuition.

some people think it's just strange, others that i'm saying i'm somehow better or more evolved.

very few get that it's the way i'm wired.

sunday i awoke a better balanced person.

it was a beautiful day and i enjoyed puttering around my yard and my kitchen.

i felt grateful and full and light.

what a combo.

the dinner i prepared was not light, however.

i was craving eggplant parm.

mike grilled balsamic chicken and i put together a pot of pasta aglio olio.

we have lots of delicious leftovers.

the kids enjoyed the weekend with friends in malls, on courses, in parks and on fields.

the cats...well you can see for yourself.

life is good.

that's a barbaric yawp for the week ahead.

i'm channeling peanut as we head into the last week of school.
it's going to be a #yearsareminutes #beherenow stretch of days.
beautifully bittersweet.

On My Mind Monday

What is frightening is that this blindness can exist in the best of us (Eliza Bennet) as well as the worst (Humbert). We are all capable of becoming the blind censor, of imposing our visions and desires on others. Once evil is individualized, becoming part of everyday life, the way of resisting it also becomes individual. How does the soul survive? is the essential question. And the response is through love and imagination.

Reading Lolita in Tehran

~ Azar Nafisi

It's time for a new book (yea!). Studying Iranian history and the classics was an arduous process. I finally finished Reading Lolita in Tehran. I finished just in time for the book club I hosted Friday night. I was eagerly anticipating this night of book banter and Persian food. It was a good night too and the discussion while not exhaustive, was more robust than I expected knowing most of the ladies didn't get beyond 50-100 pages. Only three of us read the book in entirety. It was a difficult read: preachy and political. The memoir was packed full of historical events and too much lit crit, but in the end I don't regret choosing or reading it. I also would be very careful to recommend it. 

The evening was lovely. I think the ladies enjoyed the spread. We lingered around the candle-lit table until well after dark talking about freedom, fiction and women, and as always, our own stories too.

Sunday Morning

I was up at 5 o'clock this morning. The day already dawned. The sun had risen up over the lake, but I could tell by the angle of light that it had only just happened. I stayed in bed for an hour thinking about the trippy dream I had overnight and the fresh new day ahead. Yesterday was a bit of a waste. I wasn't feeling well physically or emotionally so I stayed in bed most of the day watching one bad Lifetime movie after another. It seemed fitting since I was missing my mom and she was a sucker for those t.v. dramas.

I'm not confessing this with any guilt (okay maybe just a little) because sometimes we need to check out and process. Also, I woke today feeling better in every way and ready to slay dragons, or at least groceries and laundry and Sunday dinner. I granted myself permission to brood and hydrate for 24 hours. Today is a tabula rasa and that is a gift. Today, I have an open heart and a clear head. It's going to be a beautiful day. I just know it. I feel it.

First thing I tucked my head in to confirm Teddy's alarm was set and to see if he wanted breakfast before heading to the golf course. He gave me his usual yes, please. There is comfort in knowing that he still wants me to care for him. That he needs and appreciates me. I sent him off before caddying with a healthy, homemade breakfast. It's already been a good day.

I'm on my second cuppa, the fog is lifting, the birds are raucous, the house is quiet. I'm ready.

The Breakfast Club

Taken last week at Windmill Beach, which is a giant sand trap as far as Teddy is concerned.

I woke up this morning to the smell of bacon. The strong smell of almost burning bacon. Teddy was preparing his famous pancakes for the varsity golf team before sectionals today. I resisted the urge to get up and get involved. I left Teddy a note last night letting him know that if he needed my help, he should wake me up. He didn't wake me: frying pig fat did.

I strained to hear them, but I couldn't detect a voice or a clang or a sizzle. I tell you five guys have never made less noise. My plan was to come down in time to wish them all lots of luck and low scores, but I just missed them. They left a still standing house. The mostly clean kitchen was a bonus.

Usually they go out for breakfast before meets. It's their ritual, but this morning they were up before any establishment was open.  These breakfasts are something I'm pretty sure Teddy looks forward to almost as much as the 18 holes that follow. I always imagine them sitting in a booth next to a foursome of gray haired golfers who meet every week before they play 9. These old guys reminisce about birdies and eagles, and geez they've known each other since they were teens, and they used to shoot 70s too. 

This is going to be a tough contest for them today. It's a long shot that they'll make it to state, but it couldn't happen to a nicer group of guys if they do. Teddy was mentioned as a favorite to qualify individually. That would be wonderful, but even I've learned that golf is fickle and there are very few gimmes. If he plays well today, he'll advance. If not, he'll be at the course tonight working out kinks and fixing things. Either way...I'm proud.

I just hope he makes me his team-famous pancakes one day soon! I'll pass on the bacon.

On My Mind Monday

If you only say one prayer in a day, make it thank you.

~ Rumi

Thank you.

Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

The end of a busy week with a long weekend ahead. There's been something every night and that gets to be a little much for the introvert I am. 

I took the day off Wednesday to walk the course with Mike. Ted was playing in regionals. He took 7th and his team advanced to sectionals. He shot a 79 so it wasn't his best day, and yet he played consistently. It was a beautiful day and I enjoyed watching him in his element. He's such a guy. 

The birds. Last night a pair of hummingbirds flew by the kitchen windows in route for my strepto carpella and Lily's bleeding heart. I stopped what I was doing and stood still watching them. They make me think of my mom. I had a moment with her. On the golf course the other day, a sweet bluebird was following us along the fairway to the green. My mom sends the bluebirds. Teddy scored a birdie on that hole. I thanked her.

Lily played her last softball game of middle school yesterday. It was a tie against my alma mater. Today she's in Chicago for an impromptu field trip with her art teacher. She's so excited to be in the big city. She's comfortable on familiar fields and on strange streets.

Teddy was inducted into The National Business Honor Society this week.

He was accepted in NHS also, but was not able to attend the ceremony. He was up and out early this morning for their first meeting though.

Last week he made a difficult decision and the way he handled it proves that he is maturing. He's not going to play baseball this year. He's been playing baseball since he was 5. Sigh. He's going to focus on golf. Next year baseball will be a spring sport so he'll have to choose, and he's choosing now. Partially because the baseball coach is not understanding of the kids who need to finish out their spring sports. He rides them and cuts them no slack. Teddy went to talk with him before a scrimmage last Saturday to tell him face to face of his decision. It was Mike's idea, but Ted saw the merit in his advice and he took it. Of course, the coach didn't take his resignation. All of the sudden, he was willing to play nice and work with him as he finishes out his season with a potential state tournament run. I don't know what Ted will decide. Part of me hopes he'll join the team because he's a natural on that field as well, and I love watching him, but the bottom line is that it'll be his measured decision. 

Lily the Soc. Dressed up for an Outsiders debate.

My animal lover. She had a cat sitting job this week. We had a cat sitting job this week. I have to drive her and do the litter, but she does all the rest. We stay until they are played out and cuddled up.

Logging miles. Clearing my head. Opening my heart.