This Week

I woke up to snow this morning. I may be one of the only truly happy residents of this state to feel such warm joy over the cold inches accumulating. The only thing happier than all day snow is when the storm hits on a Sunday. Today is Sunday. I will be a guilt free shut in making Valentine treats to send to Ted (brownies, blueberry muffins and banana bread...I don't think it's wise to send a French Silk Pie) and a pot of soup (broccoli cheddar), reading books (onto book 6 of 2020...Olive Again), watching the Oscars.

I am oddly into the Oscars this year. Not because I'm rooting for any particular film. I saw and liked a couple. Marriage Story was very well done and I love me some Adam Driver, but I don't see it...him scoring an award. Little Women was delightful, but it's a classic that's been done so many...too many times before. Mike and I went on a movie date late yesterday afternoon to see what I think will win best picture. 1917 was very well done. Surprisingly, I liked it more than Mike did, but we were both unconvinced that it was Oscar worthy. The way the studios turn out films these days, I don't question why so many are good, but not great. That being said, it was a treat to see the WWI film on the big screen and to have a tub of popcorn for lunch.

We came home and watched Joker. We were on a roll. A mission. Joaquin's performance was 100 percent Oscar worthy. Hand's down he deserves to win tonight. I fell asleep during Rocketman. I don't think it stands a chance when held up to last year's winner. Bohemian Rhapsody was one of those now rare, truly great films. We'll fill out our ballots and stay tuned tonight.

Friday we were tuned to Lizzo and her Tiny Desk Concert. Lily had some friends for a sleepover and I had a friend for Happy Hour. I guess you could say it was a girl's night plus Mike He's a sport. Lily has such a nice group of friends and for that I am truly grateful. After a quick breakfast Saturday morning, the girls said goodbye so Lily could get her driver's permit. In 6 months, she'll be on the road. She is very excited and she's also a pretty good driver.

Ted seems to be settling back in at school. He was home for 12 hours this week to deal with the speeding ticket he got over winter break. The speeding ticket he got the very first time he drove his car after months. It was well worth the trek home. He requested calzones for dinner. Mike and I took that as a sign to do our weekly shopping at Gloriosos. That is a treat. I chose the wine that night with The State of the Union in mind. The four of us were interested to hear the speech. Lily made me record Friday night's debate. Folks, she's 15 and informed.

I look forward to the week ahead. Not because there is anything exciting going on. Quite the opposite. It will be another week of simple joys, ordinary bright spots and the little things that matter big.

Winter Inventory

Reading:

When posed with the question of the best book of 2019, I really couldn't answer definitively. Nothing I read seemed worthy of the shout out. That being said, I read plenty of books and several of them worth noting.

I can't even recall The Last House Guest and that obviously speaks volumes.

 

I sped read The Rosie Effect much to my dismay. The first book was charming. The sequel was painful. I didn't like Rosie or Don the second time around. These once quirky characters weren't funny, they were disturbing. I would never have picked it up and certainly would have put it down, if not for the fact that it was a book club selection.

I picked up Heavy after listening to Laymon's story on a podcast and it was indeed weighty. I wanted to connect with his story on a human level, but it was difficult because I was constantly reminded of my otherness: as a woman. As a white woman.

American Fire was interesting, but not suspenseful.  You pretty much know who and why from the beginning. All it really succeeded at for me was making local law enforcement appear inept.

Ask Again Yes also started out  strong, but the characters I liked in the beginning all wore on me by the end.

Wild Game was my last read of the year. I was anticipating Brodeur's memoir since spring when the publication date was set. I probably shouldn't have listened to her on Dani Shapiro's Family Secrets Podcast because I knew all the secrets before page one. That definitely dulled the read and made me approach the story from a more critical angle. That being said I devoured the book in a few cold night hours.

I was gifted the Canal House cookbook for Christmas and I treated myself to Magnolia Table after loaning it from the library for 6 weeks and using it often. I am thinking about buying Skinnytaste's new cookbook. I've made a few recipes and I have others I'd like to try. I find them perfect for busy weeknights. Nothing fancy or putsy. I still don't own a Instant Pot cookbook and I won't until I find the one that suits me best. I love giving cookbooks a trial run by getting them from the library. When I hesitate to return them, I know they're worth owning.

2020 started out strong. I chose Yaa Gyasi's debut novel for my book club gathering and it was my first read of the new year. I am big on historical fiction set in Africa. This story was far reaching and important. I thought it was going to be one thing. it was another and even better. It's full of big questions, thus perfect for rich discussion. It was a club pleaser.

Then I went in for a little literary fiction. I was happy to get Patchett's latest much sooner than expected. Don't you just love the cover? I adored this book. I connected with the characters, the brother sister relationship, the dry wit, the heart.

Know My Name is my first memoir of the year. Memoir is my go to genre. It's a relevant topic that has me thinking that I have a daughter going off to college before too long and also remembering a few times (yes, few) in my life when I could have definitely pressed charges.

The other night I finished The Wives. It was a quick and compelling thriller...a 3 night investment. I am sure this will be made into a movie. It's a movie I'll likely see. 

Eating:

Lots of chicken...still. Working on 900 of 1000 ways to eat chicken. Recently made this chicken Souvlaki recipe and the healthier version of a gyro was family approved.

This Chicken Fajita Pasta was a hit. It was a tasty, quick  weeknight meal.

You never can go wrong at Casa Wags with a pan of chicken thighs in a honey Dijon sauce.

I thought  I would cook more for Ted when he was on break, but he was out and about a lot. Many nights Lil cooks for herself. Her go to meals right now are Trader Joe's Orange Chicken and her own Taco Salad.

I've made many pots of soup: Lentil, Zuppa Toscana, Pasta Fagioli (which I could eat every day), French Onion and Roasted Tomato just last night. You will never eat tomato soup out of a can after eating this simple, delicious bowl of freshness topped with grated onion and a cheddar cheese lid.

We baked a lot in December. We're on a break. In fact I have to bring dessert to a Super Bowl Party tonight and I bought pastries. Cannot remember the last time I did that.

Kristen's 51st bday Sunshine cake.

Rosie's Grasshopper Pie

My famous French Silk.

Ted's Crepe Cake.

Watching:

 'Tis the season of too much t.v. We worked our way through Messiah and You. Both very entertaining Netflix originals. Now we're pacing ourselves through Outlander. Lily and I saw and very much loved Little Women over break. She didn't want to go and then she was glad that I guilted her into it. We saw Just Mercy as a family and we all gave it the big thumbs up. Mike and I saw The Musical Parody of The Office this week. It was a lovely night, but the show was very disappointing. Some of the casting was questionable and distracting. Michael Scott was played by a woman who overparodied the character. She reminded me of a cross between Androgynous Pat and Sam Kinison.

Enjoying: 

Walks in the woods, a new striped wool sweater Teddy helped pick out for me on a mother son shopping date, story slams with my pals, dates with my guy, the way Lily smiles so brightly now without her braces, my new wine decanter (thank you babe), a new window I bought on a whim, happy vases of tulips, Belgian chocolate milk (sinful), cloudy days (it's true), the many faces of Tigger.

Thinking about:

These quotes from The Dutch House. Both touched a nerve.

"I'd never been in the position of getting my head around what I'd been given. I only understood what I'd lost."

"After years of living in response to the past, we had somehow become miraculously unstuck, moving forward in time just like everyone else."

How to live my best life this new year. My GF surprised me with this sweet bracelet after she asked me about my word last week. Her's is compassion. We're working on Lily's now. Empathy? Kindness?

It's Going to be a Day

Today's going  to be a day. Here's how I know. I woke from a dream that I still owned my mom's house and that it was still filled with all of her things. It was much more involved and convoluted than I'll divulge here, but there really is no need for interpretation. The meaning is quite clear. I am listening.

I'm listening to jazz as I write, and thinking about changing the station when Canon in D comes on. Wink. Nod. Pachelbel's song, my wedding processional, it's not exactly jazz. I'm all ears.

I'm well aware of the ways the universe communicates with us and I've always been open to receiving the messages. I cannot say I know exactly where they hail from, but I can say that I find them healing, comforting and hopeful. There are a couple of things I know for sure. The first is that I am a spirit having a human experience. The second is that my spirit is composed of energy and energy may change form, but it never dies. Dreams, deja vu, signs...they are connections across realms. At least that's what I believe.

And speaking of connections, Ted is having a tough time getting back into his college life after a five week break. Of course he is. It's like starting over. When he's struggling, I'm struggling. I'm mama bear and I want to protect him. It's an unnerving feeling that my options are limited to my ears and my voice at this point. The thing is that's what he needed. Someone to listen, validate, and offer a short pep talk. He asked me questions about my life in college. I went back to those erstwhile days with an discerning mind. What sticks so many years later are the shiny parts...all the fun we had. In digging deeper, I uncovered some of the more difficult memories. I too lived with a complete stranger my freshman year. We became good friends, but I was lucky. For every captivating, mind bending lecture there were many sleepers. Literal sleepers. There was loneliness and homesickness. I had my heart broken, but I also found the love of my life. In the year between,  I swore off serious dating, lived in a house with 75 hormonal girls and really found my people. A sisterhood within the sisterhood. A tight group of women the least likely to be in a sorority, and yet we were.

Ted's looking for his people. He's blessed with what he calls his "squad" here at home and he misses that. He's also noticing things about himself. His insecurities, strengths and weaknesses. He confessed that he's living more for the future. He actually said, "I feel like I'm not living for the now." I'm a be here now believer, but I also know how challenging it can be at any stage of life. I have to remind myself to be in the moment every day...several times a day. Now, I'll remind him too.

He's feeling lighter. He made a couple decisions and he's got some plans. That means I'm feeling lighter too, but always in the back of my mind I'm aware of how fragile even strong people are. I'm reminded how vulnerability is a gift of incredible trust. I'm feeling all the feels today for what was, what is and what will be.

weekending

I could have sworn the sun was shining when I woke up from another crazy dream this morning. It's not. The sky is colorless. All the snow we were supposed to get the last stretch of days was mostly rain. This has been such a strange winter.

It's been a good weekend though. We had a marathon night out Friday and a Netflix marathon day in yesterday. We had tickets to a story slam. Mike, Candace and I sat under the twinkle lights at Turner Hall and listened to stories about middle school. The stories were not the best I've heard, and yet I cannot bring myself to imagine stepping on stage. I even blushed when two of my shorts were read. Two of the tellers were deaf and that was quite something really. To watch their signs and hear them rich with inflection and pause as told by the translator. We approached one young woman at the end of the night and did our best to communicate with her that we loved her story. She got it. It wasn't hard.

We weren't quite ready for the night to end so we stopped off at Jackson's for beer and a bite. I don't drink beer often, but I most often drink it here in honor of my Uncle Vic who was the very last man standing when the Pabst Brewery finally closed years ago. I have to tell you that the fresh draft beer tastes delicious in the hefty glasses they use. Glasses like my mom used to have. Those glasses are another of the night's stories. The beer also tastes quite good with fried cheese curds and grilled buffalo wings. Not the healthiest of late night snacks.

We dropped Candace at home and then Mike surprised me with another stop. Our local Cheers was filled with familiar faces. We were there so long that Lily texted to see when we'd be coming home.

And that is why yesterday was slow and lazy. Mike ran out for Kopp's cheeseburgers at 2:30. It was the only meal of the day, and incredibly satisfying. Tigger stayed by my side (or on my lap) all day and night. We had to force ourselves to abandon Outlander and get to bed. I fell asleep before finishing my prayers and I slept straight through the night.

Today I feel like a million bucks. The rest of the house is sleeping. Tigger is back in our spot waiting for me. He'll be waiting awhile. Today's list is long and I plan to tackle it. I love Sundays. 

This is January

Teddy is back at school two days into second semester and Lily is in the middle of her first semester exams. It's beyond my comprehension that we are already the better part of the way through January. When the kids were little, I often liked to say that the days were long, but the years short. At this point, I want to go on record to say that both the days and the years are short.

I know that the next few months will fly by and then we'll be a united family of four again, but I find this only mildly comforting. That's because I love this time...these days...and I would be happy were they to last much longer. It's been said that time flies when you're having fun and also that the years go faster as we get older. Both are true.

It's also true that this time of year makes me melancholy. I have to work hard not to become a shut in. I'm adept at hibernating, holing up with books and blankets, making stock and baking bread. That was all a perfect storm Friday when I hosted book club on the snowy night. We talked about Homegoing while enjoying hearty bowls of Patsa Fagioli and Zuppa Toscana with warm foccacia in my dining room still decorated for Christmas. I sent all the ladies home with soup and hunks of homemade bread. It always tastes better the next day, and we're still enjoying the leftovers here at Casa Wags. There are times a pot of soup seems endless. I made my frister's favorite Sunshine Cake for dessert in honor of her birthday. I've never made it before, but I too enjoyed it from time to time at Watts Tea Room. That Milwaukee icon is closed now. No more tea sandwiches or etiquette classes, which Lily took many years ago. (I still remember the look on her face when the instructor told her she could eat the flowers on her plate during the final tea. She ate mine too.) I underestimated the task of this recipe. I didn't have the right pan, the French pastry cream was fussy and I had to make the 7 minute frosting 3 times. It was at least 70 minute frosting, but I didn't mind because #foodislove #foodismemories. We enjoyed the meal and made memories that night. I will do just about anything for that.

I highly recommend Yaa Gyasi's debut novel that spans 8 generations and 2 continents. The prominent themes centered on family, legacy, language, freedom, forgiveness and power. The power of story and who tells the story. That's as relevant today as it was hundreds of years ago. I didn't agree with any of the criticism I read after I finished the book and I'm grateful I went into it without preconceived notions. I thought Gyasi accomplished what she set out to do and I'm still thinking about the book. For me that is a telling litmus test.

So everything is good. Cozy. Calm. I'm just feeling a little quiet. It's sort of a January thing for me. My fire will return. It just needs a little stoking.

Some Sparks...

 Tigger the watch cat

 All set. Soup's on.

Krissy's Sunshine Cake. Not a looker, but made with love.

Family dinner. A little pasta carbonara, A lot of broccoli. It's all about balance.

 Snow white roses in my Mom's vase..

 My beggar boy staring at the frig waiting for tuna.

 Snowy Saturday. Snow and Saturdays.

 Morning routine and this book...such a gem. Coffee and tulips too.

 Sunrise on a chilly morning walk.

Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

It's Friday. Mike is home from Miami and Ted is on his way home from Colorado. He was scheduled to fly home tomorrow, but we are expecting snowmageddon so his flight was cancelled. He was persistent until he was rebooked. I didn't have to get involved at all. In fact, he even arranged for a ride from the airport. The boy is growing up. Oh, and he had a fabulous time skiing with friends. Keystone was his fave.

Lily and I had a nice week together, and on our last night Jess joined us for taco salads and talk. We asked questions and she talked. And talked. And talked. A chatty teenager is a rare thing and so we considered ourselves lucky and listened.

Heat. Our furnace is fixed.

Our first big snowstorm of the season. We're supposed to get close to a foot in the next 24 hours. I plan to be a shut in this weekend. I left work early and went to the store like every other person in my city. I stocked up on the ingredients for some new recipes I want to try. I have a stack of books I picked up from the library yesterday. I have no place I need to be for the duration of the weekend.

Hygge. I thought I might take down the live tree this weekend because it's dead, but I just couldn't bring myself to deChristmas yet. Tigger and I are still enjoying our tree time and it's my favorite to bask in the twinkle lights in the middle of a snowstorm. 

Soup weather. A bowl of soup is so comforting and warm. I've been on a roll: Lasagna Soup, my Lentil Soup with Kielbasa, which was the first thing I made in my new Instant Pot, and a delicious French Onion that Lily and I enjoyed this week. When the boys are way, the girls eat onions.

 My new Instant Pot. It was a gift from my dad and step-mom and they were there for the maiden offering.

Little Mister Mischief.

Amy's mushroom and olive pizza. We add jalapenos and it's perfectly earthy and briny and spicy. It's what's for dinner tonight...Friday is pizza night.

Ted just texted me before he got on the plane and asked me out for a date tomorrow. He wants to see Just Mercy. I guess I'm going out in the snow because how can I possible say no to that.

Now I'm heading up to bed to read some of Homegoing. Yaa Gayasi's novel is a to read. I've been hooked since page one, but I'm taking my time with it because I need to sit with these characters and their legacies. The multi-generational tale is not always easy to read, but it is moving and illuminating in a way that only powerful writing can be. I'm hoping it inspires a thoughtful discussion next week Friday when my friends and bibliophiles gather for book club.

Is It Friday Yet?

There's no heat in the house this morning, but the sky is on fire. It's a bone chilly 53 degrees so I'm sitting here with a hat on sipping an endless mug of steaming coffee. I thought Tigger was just being sweet for staying by my side all night long. I never considered that even with his authentic fur coat he too was cold. Cold to the touch this morning. His poor little nose was ice. Lily was hard to find under her pile of blankets covered from head to toe.

It's become a running joke here at Casa Wags that whenever Mike travels for work, some sort of crisis of some degree occurs. It used to be sick kids. Not with common colds, but strep or the flu or some obscure ailment. It's been the car. The garage door. Blizzards. Once it was even an intruder I scared off the roof as he peered in the bathroom window at me. I came face to face with him in the open window. I believe he was more scared than I was as he tumbled off his perch. Then I raced down the stairs, out the front door and chased him down the street nine months pregnant while toddler Ted slept soundly in his bed. Never poke a mama bear. Then my mom came to stay the rest of Mike's trip to protect us with her fierce shih tzu, Charlie. I can't explain it, but I never felt so safe.

Ah, I digress. All to say that a faulty furnace is nothing in the grand scheme of things. I mean really, just watch the news.

Mike went south and Ted went west so it's just the girls this week. Mike's in warm and sunny Miami and Ted is traipsing around Colorado from ski slope to ski slope. I had big plans for us, but it turns out that what we both were craving was just a quiet, low-key week. I'm just happy that we are on the same wave length. It's been a week of easy dinners, editing papers, watching the Jeopardy championship, chatting before we go to bed at the same time.

We're getting up at the same time too. I've been grateful that she, who is impossible to rouse, has been getting out of bed after a single wake up. She's been pleasant in the morning, chatty in the car on the way to school and spending less time in her room after school.

Mike has been working hard - long days that go into the night with dinner and drinks. Teddy has been in his element. Skiing under the sun on fresh snow not wanting the days to ever end. I get it, but I'm glad tomorrow's Friday.