On My Mind Monday

Nobody picks their life...you make choices, and then they make choices. Your choices make choices.

~ Chloe Benjamin

The Immortalists

Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

Meeting my friend for breakfast last week and staying until lunch. We could've talked straight through dinner.

I suggested a place in between, but she wanted to come down to my side of town our old stomping grounds.

Authenticity, honesty, kindness and connection.

The safety of being in the company of people who know you and get you and love you.

Changing things up. I've been working in the kitchen where I have lots of space to spread out. This guy is my constant companion.

We don't normally have blankets at the kitchen table.

The music from The Adam's Family, but especially One Normal Night and Full Disclosure. Also Pulled sung by our Wednesday Cate whose voice and stage presence never cease to amaze us. 

A ladies lunch to celebrate the February girls. La Reve is always a treat.

The desserts were delicious...especially the one in the middle.

Bringing home one for Ted who texted me during lunch to tell me he destroyed the ACT that day.

He's a raspberry guy.

Sending the birthday girls home with fresh flowers.

Looks like spring.

Waiting for your turn with only a hint of stink eye. My boys love to be brushed.

Mike is their preferred groomer.

They also love to watch the squirrels.

 Eating apples.

A stack of new reads waiting for me at the library.

I started with The Immortalists and blew through it in a couple days. I was a big fan of the sibling story that dealt with themes of mortality and destiny. It was well-written and thought provoking. 

I didn't want it to end, but also couldn't wait to see how it would turn out.

8th grade portraits.

This captures her beautifully.

This moon.

Full.

This is Thirteen

I used to worry that I annoyed Lily by taking too many pictures of her. Now she is the selfie queen. The duck-face selfie queen. Sometimes I find bursts of her close ups on my camera. Multiple photos taken within nano seconds of each other so almost identical, and yet upon close inspection ever so slightly unique, thus distinguishable.

I liken it to the way I sometimes catch sight of her and can see the bright eyed toddler she was not all that long ago. Then other times I'll see her as she'll appear 10 years from now. Looking back. Fast forwarding. They both make my heart skip several beats as I struggle to inhabit the present.

Yesterday I got a call from the office. Lily slipped on the ice during recess. She fell hard on her tailbone, had the wind knocked out of her and cut her hand. She was in physical and emotional pain...people saw her crying...and so I hurried to bring her home where we are always most comfortable and cared for. I was grateful I was able to drop what I was doing to be there for her. That's definitely a gift of this place I'm in right now. Still she only needed me a little: some sympathy, a dose of ibu, an iced water and an ice pack. I went back to what I was doing after she went to sleep in her dark and breezy room. Gone are the days when I have to kiss boo boos (or crushed coccyxes) and tuck her into my bed beside me when she's sick or hurting. I remembered that I couldn't resist the most adorable stuffed llama when I was shopping over the weekend.  Another last hurrah of childhood. I planned to tuck it in her Easter basket because I thought she might like it, but I decided to give it to her when she woke from her nap a little grumpy. I know her so well. She loved it and it brightened her mood. She thanked me profusely. I confessed that I was pretty sure when I bought it, it would be her last stuffed animal. She nodded in agreement as she proclaimed its name to be Lavender. I smiled knowing we'll remember this last. It's hard to forget a purple llama given to you on the occasion of injuring your coccyx. Another fading glimpse of my little girl.

A glimpse completely obscured when she became more concerned about the blood she got on her new Gap sweatshirt than her injury. A blatant reminder: she is 13. She's a shopper now. A shopper who knows exactly what she likes and wants. We spent an hour at the Gap over the weekend where I worked up a sweat and was mistaken for an associate at least 3 times by other shoppers. For the record, I didn't correct them. I just helped them. I mean I was maybe even a little bit flattered because all the other employees are practically girls not much older than 13 themselves. I considered it a successful spree. We finally got the girlfriend jeans. I have bought and returned no fewer than 5 pairs of these because something was always not right once we got them home. She was on the lookout for a dress for D.C. We found that too. At first, she bristled when I came back from another loop around the store with said dress for her try on. I knew it'd be perfect. She rolled her eyes, resisted, finally relented and lo and behold, she agreed. We agreed! 

Back to the sweatshirt though. I told her I wasn't buying it. It was ridiculously priced and she has umpteen hoodies. Yea. Obviously she has one more. I bought it. I'm telling you that I have a very difficult time saying no to this child especially since after I said no, she didn't plead or cajole. In fact, when she saw I was softening, she then tried to talk me out of buying it despite the fact that she really really wanted it. She knows me so well. P.S. I got the blood out. P.P.S. It's really cute.

We're at this point...thirteen versus middle age...where we usually don't see eye to eye. More like I say abc and she says xyz sometimes I think just for the sake of being contrary. I asked Jess about our contrarian dynamic since she witnessed it several times on Sunday. She answered me with a question, "What was your relationship like with your mom at 13?" It set me straight. It was just like the relationship I have with my daughter: mostly loving and open, but a little irritating and chawing too. Healthy. I'm proud she wants to think her own thoughts, form her own opinions and forge her own way. And I'm good with it just so long as she knows that she can come to me any time about anything and I will listen, advise, kick butt, hug, buy her lavender llamas or whatever else she needs.

weekending

it was an adam's family weekend.

two wonderful productions...two inspiring casts.

we went north saturday evening to watch a talented young friend play wednesday.

she stole the show and our hearts.

then sunday we saw our school's rendition and were equally as proud and touched.

i laughed.

i cried.

tears because i'm just dang proud of any young person who gets up on stage and performs.

candace stopped over late saturday afternoon for wine and jess stayed for dinner on sunday.

mike, teddy and i stopped out for bagels after church, and then mike made carnitas for taco domingo.

i knew it would be a thing.

lil and i went to the mall to do a little d.c. shopping. and then she stayed to meet up with friends.

i went home to meet up with my books.

silence in the age of noise finally came my way.

i am savoring it.

just like precious time with my family and friends.

On My Mind Monday

'I love you.'

The first time the words pass between two people: electrifying.

Ten thousand times later: cause for marvel.

The last time: the dream you revisit over and over and over again.

Kelly Corrigan

Tell Me More

I finished this memoir this morning. I cried myself through the last 40 pages. It was so beautiful and true and heartbreaking. This is my favorite of Corrigan's three books. And for the record, I so wish I knew her in real life.

Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

The thoughtfulness of friends. Well, one friend in particular. She stopped by this past snowy Saturday afternoon with a bouquet of spring flowers. I think it was to thank me for stopping by earlier in the week with soup and bread. We sort of lose track, which is what makes it a beautiful thing.

This French chocolate cake I made at Smitten Kitchen's urging. I followed the recipe to a tee and would do so again. I loved the intensely chocolate notes and the crumby texture. I worried the chocolate whipped cream would be too much even for hardcore chocolate connoisseurs, but it was light and when used sparingly a perfect pairing with the freshness of the raspberries I couldn't resist adding.

A date with my guy last night. It was a belated Valentine's celebration. We went to a little Italian joint we've been visiting since way before kids. We both ordered the exact same entrees we enjoyed the last time we were there and we were both glad we did. The scallops were cooked perfectly. Look at that sear. We started with a very naughty and delicious wild mushroom gnocchi with Gorgonzola and we ended with limoncello.

A coffee date with a friend this morning. We're rendezvousing so I can get our tickets to see her daughter perform as Wednesday in The Adam's Family this weekend. Can't wait!

Kids who follow their dreams with passion.

The view from my lap every morning.

These two. My guy and my girl.

Sunday morning walks through the city and along the lake. I never take for granted the accessibility or the beauty of where I live.

Windmill Beach even in winter. Especially in winter. I'm a sucker for the seasonal solitude, for curling up with a book and looking up in between pages to take in the scenery, and for warming up by the fire while we work on a crazy challenging puzzle.

The kids aren't the biggest fans of the beach at this time of year. They both had to cancel plans with friends, but they only grumbled a little and I'm pretty sure they had a lot of fun. It's harder and harder to have family time because teens are busy and opinionated, but once in awhile we insist and it's worth it.

Knowing that while we are away, these two have each other.

I think Tigger wants to come with us next time.

This girl wrote a very compelling piece to support why she should be one of two students in her class selected to lay a wreath on The Tomb of the Unknowns in a couple weeks. She's getting excited for her class trip to Washington DC. Teddy had an absolute blast when he went 4 years ago, and I know she will too.

I finished The Wife Between Us this week. It was a quick, somewhat compelling thriller heavy on the somewhat. There was potential for it to be much more arresting. The cake is finally gone too as are my Lenten promises.

Time. I've been intensifying my job search efforts, but I need to take breaks. I often find myself in the kitchen because I'm able to lose myself in a recipe. Working in the kitchen calms me...grounds me. Making meatballs is therapeutic. Serving a healthy, homemade dinner to my family is gratifying.

weekending

i'm missing the holiday weekend.

it seems the longer the weekend the harder it is to let it go.

it started in typical fashion.

lily attended the last ski club friday of the season, teddy went out with friends to eat pizza and play hockey, and mike and i thought for a nano second about going out, but decided we were perfectly happy staying home.

lily went to hang out with friends saturday and stayed the night.

it started to snow mid-afternoon, which convinced me to cozy up at home once again.

mike and i watched a forgettable movie.

teddy went out as i was heading to bed with my book.

i cannot believe i'm admitting that.

mike and i did our lake front loop sunday morning whilst lil's was at sunday school.

the fresh air that hinted of spring was welcome after all that time at home.

mid-afternoon we headed to windmill beach for a quick 24 hour getaway.

along the shores a little north the air felt more like winter.

we engaged in the windmill beach winter olympics.

the events included golf, clue, boggle and ping pong.

it was fun for all ages and abilities.

i took the gold in boggle.

that was it.

in fact teddy gave me 15 points and played left-handed and he still beat me at pong.

we surprised my sil with a little early birthday celebration...french chocolate cake and presents.

i was up with the sun monday morning.

i started a new book and almost got through it before the day was done.

my brother made his family famous breakfast burritos and then we all wanted a nap.

instead the guys went to the golf simulator and i took lily to get supplies for science fair and then  came home and got back into my book.

i went to bed rested and happy.