On My Mind Monday

The next day I asked Cookie, "Do you think broken people are better?"

"It's a big price to pay," she said with tears in her eyes. "But yes. I do."

~ Kelly Corrigan
Tell Me More

I say a thousand times yes to this. The hard stuff makes us soft. Broken people have weathered life's storms so they know how to be beacons, life preservers and load-stone rocks.

Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

Finally getting good news. It's not cancer. My friend found out that the tumor he had removed is benign. He's had some very serious and strange run ins with that bastard C so this was such a blessing and a relief.

I prayed for him while I cooked for him. It's the way I best know how to minister and show my love and care.

 Split pea soup: you either love it or hate it. He loves it.

What is soup without fresh bread?

 Dessert. What's not to love about a giant cast iron skillet cookie? I doubled Martha's recipe for a 10 inch cookie because I have a 12 inch pan. It was a little too thick for T. Bone's liking. Of course, he had to sample it. There was no way he was letting me give away the whole cookie.

I know what I want for Mother's Day: a 10 inch skillet.

Blankie boy. 

He's the sweetest, most willing cuddler.

View of my lap.

An invitation to attend a book club with my mom's old neighbors. She was a founding member almost 15 years ago, and last attended 10 years ago. It was good to reconnect with so many women who knew and loved her. There was much reminiscing, but I only got teary eyed a couple times. I reflected on the fact that I don't think that would have been the case even a year ago.

The tale of North Korean defection was meh, but the wine I just had to buy because of the label...well, it was delicious.

We went to Spain for dinner this week. My family is loving this sheet pan dinner that's new to our rotation. It's a one pan meal of chicken thighs, chorizo, cauliflower, red onion, Yukon golds, big green olives and thyme. Then when it's done, I top it with quick pickled red peppers and parsley and it makes everyone happy.

Next time I'm going to serve it with a basket of fresh pan and maybe some aioli. I think i'll cook and serve the chorizo on the side as it makes this dish greasier than I like.

This week I noticed that it's light out when I wake. The days are definitely stretching.

View east from the front porch.

Holiday traditions. I scrolled through my Instagram feed on Valentine's Day morning and felt a little wistful at all the mothers with young children serving up pink and heart-shaped breakfasts. I remember those days. But then Lily came down with a handmade valentine and a hug eager to open her gift. She went gaga for her glut of glue and appreciated the card I painted for her. She's still my sweet little lady. Teddy came bounding down late, inhaled a breakfast burrito I made especially for him and declared that presents would have to wait until the evening. Before he left though, he gave me a rare morning hug and I realized, I'm not missing anything. There's really no place I'd rather be.

 I draw the line on the cats...they don't get valentines just extra snuggles and snacks.

She thought my succulents were store bought. I love making cards for my family.

I didn't think I'd ever spend $30 on glue, but I tell you it made her so happy that I'd do it again.

French Silk pie...it wouldn't be Valentine's Day without it. 

It's our love language.

It doesn't count if you don't dirty a plate...right?

 Shameless cat captures.

On My Mind Monday

...Asking, "What am I really here to do?" just brings me face to face with all my uncertainty. I haven't a clue what I'm supposed to do next; all I know for sure is that I don't want to spend any more of my days by simply filling them up. I'm pretty sure...that the answer to "What next?" isn't to be found in more movement, but less. Perhaps the only way to begin to answer any of these questions is to sit long enough to hear what my own heart yearns to say. To silence the chatter in my mind so the quiet voice of my soul might be allowed to speak.

Katrina Kenison

Magical Journey

weekending

we just finished family dinner with my brother and sil.

when my mom was alive, sunday dinner was often celebrated around her table.

for many years after she passed, the six of us continued to gather for dinner at the end of the weekend.

it's been less frequent in recent years as life has gotten busier.

to say i miss this tradition is an understatement.

today i tried a new recipe for the occasion.

chicken parmesan lasagna was a comforting choice for a cold and snowy sunday.

at the last minute i mixed batter for a cast iron skillet cookie knowing we wouldn't need dessert.

a single slice remained.

it's hard to resist hot out of the oven chocolate chip cookies.

i failed to get a photo, so here is one of the salad that was enjoyed with my homemade balsamic vinaigrette instead.

come to think of it the day started with my cast iron skillet too.

when i woke early to see the streets covered in snow, i decided it was a good day to hibernate.

the house was quiet...the world outside was all but deserted. 

i started dough for monkey bread and snuggled in to read while it rose.

i received the book i need to read for thursday's book club yesterday and quickly got into it.

i will quickly get through the girl with seven names too.

the house started to smell good.

sweet baked goods ensure everyone wakes in a pleasant mood. i don't know that i'll be going through the process of making my cinnamon rolls anymore. this was so much easier and better.

lily was not into hibernating and teddy was.

that's rare.

she went shopping with a friend and he enjoyed a day with nothing to do.

i got back to my book.

and my cat.

until i was sweetly surprised by a visit from candace who was in the neighborhood.

i was so glad to see her that i didn't mind that she busted me in my pjs in the middle of the afternoon.

the weekend started early the same way it ended: with a snow day.

it probably wasn't necessary, but it was welcome.

teddy spent the free friday studying for the act, which he took saturday morning.

 i've never seen him study with such dedication and focus.

 he said the test was tough. now we wait.

lily bundled up and went to play in the snow.

here she is throwing snowballs at the cats, which didn't bother peanut at all and had tigger growling.

she was missing her friends, feeling a little bored and even conceded that school's not so bad.

she agreed to do a craft project with me and this proves she was desperate.

we attacked a stack of magazines to make our vision boards.

then we ordered pizza and watched the opening ceremonies.

 2018

saturday morning i was up with the sun.

and peanut.

i wanted to send teddy off for his big test with a balanced breakfast.

this was his request.

 i was feeling all years are minutes as he drove away.

how are we already at this point?

and yet it's all good.

it didn't help that lily had an appointment to sit for the 8th grade composite.

it seems like yesterday i was here with teddy.

it was three years ago.

sigh.

 she's all grown up. beautifully.

at least my cats will never leave home.

brotherly love.

  

lily made plans to sled with a friend and teddy went to play hockey.

mike and i played a very competitive game of gin.

then we made a simple, but delicious pasta dish.

orecchiette with bacon in a lemon cream sauce.

good food.
good times.
goodnight.

weekending

i kinda sorta wanted this weekend to last longer or forever.

it was just a good stretch of late winter days.

ordinary, and yet, extraordinary.

what i call the extraordinary ordinary.

lily had ski club friday after school and ted had hockey plans with friends.

what i call teenagers being teenagers.

nonetheless, it was a quiet night at casa wags.

saturday i woke in a foul mood.

i slept later than i like and i suspect that contributed to my less than sunny disposition.

after a teary chapter of magical journey and a cup of coffee, i bundled up for a walk.

the snow started to fly as soon as i was on the road and that in itself warmed the very cockles of my heart.

i log miles, i clear my mind, i feel my heart.

exercise is what i call the magic elixir.

i wanted to be present and pleasant for my afternoon with lily.

the guys went north to golf (indoors) and have dinner.

we went to the third ward in search of a dress for a valentines day dance.

we weren't successful on that front, but we had luck on others.

we stopped in at candace's studio and admired her latest work.

lily was impressed by both the space and the piece.

we picked up dessert at the public market, headed to brady street for lasagna fixings for the next day and then to bel aire for tacos.

it was a fun afternoon with my best gal.

i came home lighter and heavier.

heavier as in exhausted so i dozed on and off until 1:30 when i found myself wide awake.

bright eyed until i forced myself to go to bed at 4:30.

it snowed all night so we woke to a winter wonderland.

it was a good day to stay holed up at home cooking and reading and writing.

what i call a snow day.

lily went sledding with a friend and it was a perfect day for that too.

teddy spent the day doing homework and then went to a super bowl party.

mike prepared the ribs for our dinner, i made cookies for ted to share at his gathering and pudding just because.

i wasn't into the game, but a few of the commercials were worth watching.

i kept mike company and the cats kept me company.

i forced myself to get to bed at a reasonable hour and i slept hard and fast.

what i call escape.

Granted

It's true that inspiration comes from above. It also comes from within. Inspiration not just in the spark that gets the creative juices flowing...the fervor in ideas...but also the feeling of faith in ourselves and trust in our journeys. It's been a very difficult week. Faith and trust have been hard to find. I've had to brace myself and dig deep. I let it all out. For now. Prayers more like pleas, rants, tears from the hallows and the confessions of subterranean fears. After I said, shouted and cried my peace, I had some peace. The repose that comes from exhaustion and depletion. I wish I could say that being being stripped bare filled me with answers. It didn't. What the honest exposure left me with was a humility I haven't known in a long time. 

Humble. It's a powerful and enlightening place to be. 

It was as if someone shined a light on my life and I saw things for the first time. I've always known they were there, but I tried to ignore them, reject them, rally against them. In the moment I owned them, they owned me less. Their hold weakened as grace entered the mix. 

I have flaws. I make mistakes. I am haunted by regret. I have hurt other people. People I love. I have held grudges and freely laid blame. I have interfered and dismissed and flown off the handle. Sometimes I criticize, I generalize and I roll my eyes. I'm human.

Grace is such a powerful and healing consecration.

I forgive wholly, love unconditionally, try to treat others with kindness and empathy. I want to soothe, minister, lift up and bring light to the people in my life.

I've been feeling so bad that I've forgotten I'm good. I've denied myself the forgiveness and empathy and kindness I too deserve. 

At my lowest point of vulnerability, grace appeared. I cannot say whether it was from above or from within although I suspect that above allowed me to find it within.

Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

Ted and Uncle B Bone had plans to hit the range Sunday afternoon. Uncle B Bone asked Lily to join them. She said yes. Yes, to hitting golf balls in a snow squall before pitching practice, and she came home loving golf even more! That folks is a miracle.

I read 7 books in January. That's a record for me. This week I finished Nourished. I didn't love it, but I think it's worth reading. It added some inspiration to a book idea I've been mulling over. I'm waiting for The Immortalists from the library, and in the meantime I found my way to Magical Journey. I've been saving this Kenison memoir for the right time. Turns out this is the right time.

My favorite spot with my faithful morning cuddler.

 Peanut approves. I'm reading this slowly and with Kleenex in hand. It evokes a flood of emotion.

I'm filling in with a little poetry. 

Audible. I've had Mother Land since early fall. I started listening to it in late fall. I often listen to books while I walk. This book was not inspiring me to log miles. I was dreading these character and felt like after a few hours and chapters, I still knew little about them and cared for them even less. I returned it to Audible and they let me chose a new book. The Woman in the Window is a definite change of pace. I got right into it. I usually opt for lighter reads for listening so lesson learned. It's 18 degrees today and I'm thinking of going for a walk.

Not giving up. The risotto was a recipe fail, but last night it was transformed into delicious arincini. 

My next challenge is making them look as good as they taste.

Simplicity.

A fresh egg on the last slice of homemade peasant bread.

My crock pot.

Hands down it makes the best beef stew, which I somehow never make the same way twice but it's always so delicious.

Comfort. Peanut butter cookies say I love you. My kids confirmed what I suspected: I've never told them I love them this way. In other words, I've never made them peanut butter cookies. Maybe it's because they remind me of my childhood and my mom. #foodismemories.

Hot out of the over after school snack. They made me crave an After School Special.

Contentment. Any number of photos would have fit here, but I'm sticking with the food theme. It was a busy week in #krissywskitchen.

This is one of Ted's favorites: chicken thighs baked with lemon and thyme for 20 minutes at 400 degrees and then brushed with a Dijon, honey and minced garlic glaze and baked for 20 more. Must be served with rice and roasted asparagus for ultimate satisfaction.

Rituals.

Every morning without fail. The only difference on any given day is the mug always chosen carefully.

A cold, snowy, wintry weekend forecast.

Mike for being Mr. Fix It around the house. He's pretty handy and cute too.

The super blue blood moon. Persistent cloud cover kept it hidden so I didn't see it, but I could feel it.

Taken this morning. This week I've been reminded that inspiration always comes from above.

Morning visitors.

Squirrel t.v.

Lazy afternoons.

Nobody does it better.

Lululemon leggings and the fact that they can repair holes quickly and cheaply, but before you buy them, consider the fact that GapFit leggings are almost as nice for at least half the price. My legging loving Lily stands by this.

Teddy has been putting in the time preparing for the ACT. He takes it next week. Over the weekend he had me take a practice English exam and I did pretty well. Impressed him enough that he's been asking me English questions all week. I'm grateful he's taking this seriously and seeing that hard work and practice pay off.