One Day at a Time

 

It's been a minute. I've been insular in the muted sense of the word. Then on the way to work on this chilly, gray day, I was singing along to John Mayer. The broody combination of the weather and the longing lyrics, had me searching for my voice. I'm not going to say I've found it, but I'm here and that's a start.

I'm happily dabbling in the things that make me...me. And slowly I am recognizing myself again, but I'm not ready to shout it from the roof tops yet. I guess I have to make sure she sticks around before I make any grand professions. At the end of the day, I answer only to myself and at the end of all days, well, let's not go there. 

Yesterday was a good one. The measure of that for me is accomplishing most of the things I need to and some of the things I want. My gloves are kid-sized. The things that fill me up are the things I can so easily put off, but not yesterday. I had a productive day at work, I finally made the call to my insurance company I'd been avoiding, I ran an errand, ordered cat food and another pair of walking shoes (fingers crossed this is the pair), and did more research for our Spain trip, but it was lacing up and hitting the trails at the end of it all that really counted. I could easily have passed. It's too cold. Rain's coming. I left my phone at work. I loaded a podcast on Mike's phone and off I went. It wasn't my favorite walk: the sky was spitting, the podcast was annoying, my lower back was sore, and yet it was one of the best hours of my day. After stretching, I got busy in the kitchen trying to perfect the Croque Madame that I'm planning to serve for the birthday brunch I'm hosting on Sunday. For once, I'm not going to make my guests be Guinea pigs. After a hot shower, Hazel curled up on my lap for a little Netflix and then beside me for a few pages before bed. I slept like the dead through strange dreams straight through 'til morning thanks peri-menopause. 

The way I see it, a good life is a series of more good days than bad or blah. More days of creating, producing, reading, writing, moving, singing, thinking, dreaming, scheming, laughing, loving and stopping long enough to give thanks for the privilege to do so.