Grateful Friday

I've been keeping a daily gratitude list in the lovely planner Meryl gifted me this Christmas. Perhaps that's the reason I've skipped coming here, but there is never enough thanks giving and so I'm here to profess that which I'm grateful for today...

The idea that feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. Who does that?

The thought that sometimes surprise is just another word for God. Beautiful.

Last Friday's champs with Candace. I had two bottles of bubbles chilling (literally and figuratively) since before the holidays and we finally got together and drank them both. We didn't set out to and then we did because we were having such a good time catching up.

And this old photo she sent me. We are with my mom in Ixtapa, Mexico at the beautiful Westin Brisas a lifetime ago. Long ago, far away and yet so very close to my heart.

Celebrating Ashley last Sunday. We had a cozy brunch at River Wildlife. Our table was right next to the fire. The tenderloin Shephard's pie was the money bite and the warm molasses cake reminded me and Brad of Mom. We got a warm welcome at Times Remembered where we stopped for a good old Miller toast...not a tap, at Amy's insistence.

 

Country roads and late winter sunsets peaking through the trees. Old barns decorated with American flags. Wide open fields. Open windows for a dose of fresh air. Freedom. Promise. Hope on the horizon.

 

 

Another birthday brunch this weekend for 2 of my 3 February girls. Unfortunately, Meryl works on Sunday and cannot join us, but I sent her home with her very own Red Velvet cake the last time she was here.

Hosting. It's good reason to put away the remaining holiday decor, deep clean the house and buy fresh flowers. 

A recent girl's night out with Sue. I bought tickets to the NYC Contemporary Ballet on a whim. We both enjoyed the athletic, eccentric performance as well as the wine and pizza at The St Kate before and we agreed that we should do more of this...going out...spontaneity. 

Music. I've been loving the Sirius Radio in my car, and while I'm not on the road much, it is a mood booster to croon even for a few minutes. I'm slowly weening myself from constant talk radio.

My Vitronic. Last weekend we sat in the living room listening to records and I felt like a teenager. The sound isn't great, but it was worth the nostalgia.

Lily is in Paris. She booked it last minute because plans changed and she almost didn't, but I convinced her that never in her life will she be able to spend a weekend in Paris for $300. She's halfway through her trip and we'll see her in less than a month. This has been such a life affirming experience. I know she's learned more than she has in any classroom. Yes, about travel and the world, but also about herself. 

 

 

 Cat candids.

My dog Gus, a feline garbage can. And yes, he'll eat pizza and salad.

 

One Day at a Time

 

It's been a minute. I've been insular in the muted sense of the word. Then on the way to work on this chilly, gray day, I was singing along to John Mayer. The broody combination of the weather and the longing lyrics, had me searching for my voice. I'm not going to say I've found it, but I'm here and that's a start.

I'm happily dabbling in the things that make me...me. And slowly I am recognizing myself again, but I'm not ready to shout it from the roof tops yet. I guess I have to make sure she sticks around before I make any grand professions. At the end of the day, I answer only to myself and at the end of all days, well, let's not go there. 

Yesterday was a good one. The measure of that for me is accomplishing most of the things I need to and some of the things I want. My gloves are kid-sized. The things that fill me up are the things I can so easily put off, but not yesterday. I had a productive day at work, I finally made the call to my insurance company I'd been avoiding, I ran an errand, ordered cat food and another pair of walking shoes (fingers crossed this is the pair), and did more research for our Spain trip, but it was lacing up and hitting the trails at the end of it all that really counted. I could easily have passed. It's too cold. Rain's coming. I left my phone at work. I loaded a podcast on Mike's phone and off I went. It wasn't my favorite walk: the sky was spitting, the podcast was annoying, my lower back was sore, and yet it was one of the best hours of my day. After stretching, I got busy in the kitchen trying to perfect the Croque Madame that I'm planning to serve for the birthday brunch I'm hosting on Sunday. For once, I'm not going to make my guests be Guinea pigs. After a hot shower, Hazel curled up on my lap for a little Netflix and then beside me for a few pages before bed. I slept like the dead through strange dreams straight through 'til morning thanks peri-menopause. 

The way I see it, a good life is a series of more good days than bad or blah. More days of creating, producing, reading, writing, moving, singing, thinking, dreaming, scheming, laughing, loving and stopping long enough to give thanks for the privilege to do so.

Stay at Home Days and Snow Days

 

Looks like snow.

Over the weekend, the snow we were supposed to get missed us again. I was rooting for at least one good storm, but we only got light flurries and a scant dusting. I leaned into the hygge nonetheless. I made Chicken ala King ala Kathy and invited my brother and sil for dinner Friday eve. This meal, which my mom served in potato rosti baskets, was on regular rotation when we were kids so it's nostalgic. Those little crunchy baskets are no longer. Puff pastry was a good stand in. While the dish is not a looker, it is comforting in the way that #foodislove and #foodismemories. Buttered corn, cottage cheese and a salad with lots of hard boiled egg and French dressing completed the memory. We solved world problems (or tried), laughed, sang and played cards. Ina's brownies were for dessert with a scoop of Haagen Dazs. The weekend was off to a happy start.

Tastes like childhood.

 That sentiment carried on through Saturday and into Sunday. Lots of rest, cat in lap time, family time. I received good news after my follow-up mammogram last week. I didn't realize how stressed I was in the last six months until I got the all clear. I felt immediate relief. The quiet was my version of celebrating, reflecting and giving thanks for prayers answered.

 

After binging several episodes of Land Man, I ended my Saturday by talking to Lily at the start of her Sunday. She explored Costa Brava last weekend. We pulled the trigger and purchased our tickets to Spain. Now the fun begins...what to see and what to do. The list is long. We'll have to be strategic and there will be things that'll have to wait until next time. Right now, we're hoping to spend a few days in Madrid, then head to Seville for a few days, Granada for a day and then end up in Barcelona. Getting  glimpses into her daily life abroad is a highlight of each day.

My parents stopped by Sunday afternoon for a visit and to bring us some of my Dad's famous Beef Barley Soup and a new Lasagna Soup recipe that I'll take any time he makes it. The fennel and the ham were brilliant additions. I was able to send them home with some home mades. I'd just baked an almond cake and a batch of oatmeal cookies from my latest read: Stir. I'm finding much inspiration in these memoirs with recipes.

 So good.

So temporary. It doesn't last long.

 

Nothing better with a cafe.

Today is a snow day. Finally. I woke up to flurries and it hasn't let up all day long. I've so enjoyed this quiet respite. The boys were working in their respective offices and I settled in with a bottomless cuppa and a stack of books. I watched a movie and stayed in my comfies. There are so many things I could have done, but I allowed myself to do only what I wanted to and to do so without guilt.

 

                                                                      Snow day still life.

Princess Hazel on her perch pouff.

 

Gus is king of the yard counter.
 

I won't be upset if tomorrow is another snow day.

Slow and Steady

I'm working on getting up earlier in the mornings. I'm setting my alarm a little earlier every few days and trying to snooze just once. This morning I had to hit snooze twice. I was in the middle of a dream I needed to reenter. I wanted more answers. I didn't get them, but now clear-headed and de-cobwebbed I realize that there are none. Sometimes a dream is just a dream.

We're also working on eating dinner earlier. I worked a tad late and came home with zero inclination to get busy in the kitchen last night. I asked Mike if he could cook the recipe I planned and he agreed. Sometimes you just have to ask. It was our first foray into Tieghan Gerard's (my new fave cookbook) Pomegranate Sheet Pan Chicken with Brussel's Sprouts. It was delicious and probably even more so because it was made for me. I have to remember to order my own copy so I can return my sil's. I've had it for months. 

I just got a text from Ted asking if he can make dinner tonight. There's no way I can, or would say no to that. Sometimes you just have to accept.

He's been stepping up around the house too. Making his bed. Cleaning his bathroom. Mike, Ted and I started to tackle the basement Sunday afternoon. We made some noticeable progress, and while we're still bursting at the seams, this is a step in the right direction. A step toward less. 

It is my mission to purge the excess. I took a car load for donation the other day and felt immediate relief. I need much more relief. Slow and steady. Discerning and thorough drawer after drawer and closet after closet.

It's all about balance in every facet of my life. And it's a constant effort to keep the equipoise. It's a labor that requires flexibility and forgiveness because some days, weeks, seasons call for more of one thing over another.

I've been open about how clandestine my life's been recently. I've been an unapologetic homebody. I have to work hard to remind myself that this is okay. It's what I'm craving. It's no secret that leaning into the hygge and comfort is natural in deep winter. It won't last forever, although right now I think I'd be fine with that.

This past weekend was another quiet one, but there was just enough noise. Meryl and Manny came. The whole house slept in Saturday morning and we woke up hungry. Everyone liked my suggestion that we go out for breakfast. What's not to like...it was a good one. There is something so indulgent about a bottomless cup of coffee and breakfast to order. It was a chilly, gray day so we had zero guilt for curling up on couches with cats while we digested. We roused for late afternoon to go and do. While the kids were ice skating, I started a big pot of Lasagna Soup. It used to be a staple in the cold weather rotation at Casa Wags, but it's been ages since I made it. When Ted found out what was on the menu, he confessed that he had just been thinking about it. With a loaf of garlic bread, it was the perfect end to the day. We lingered for a card game before gathering in the family room again for a movie. You're Cordially Invited was light and laughable.

Sunday we were earlier to rise and quick to get going. One shiftless day and one tireless. That's balance as far as I'm concerned. We woke to a dusting of snow, but it didn't last long. M&M had to get back to Madison. Hazel missed her buddy and was looking and calling for him. Gus relaxed into his regular goofy self.