Grateful Friday

Sometimes my dreams scare me. Not just the truly frightening ones, but the dreams that are so insanely intricate, evocative or just smart. Last night I was playing a part in a movie. It was a damn good story too. I've also come up with great ideas for books while I sleep. Books I've yet to write. I've made some compelling points in difficult conversations that I wish I could be brave enough to share in waking hours. What scares me is that all these ideas, thoughts, opinions, desires....they exist somewhere in my brain. I am grateful for the brain.

About 4 a.m. this morning I was startled awake. Wide awake. I guessed the time before I verified it on my phone. After about a half an hour, I decided that I was well rested and should maybe get up and get a jump start on the day. I'm still stuck on or near 9 o'clock most days. I was cozy in bed with my guys so it was hard to motivate. I thought about all the things I could do with an extra few hours in my day should I just get up. All that thinking eventually tired me out and I drifted off again. That's when I had the major motion picture dream. Then I had a hard time getting out of bed at a reasonable hour because I wanted to see how the movie ended. I'm grateful for the ability to entertain myself.

I cannot believe it's Halloween tomorrow. We've I've had a lot of fun dressing up over the years. There was the time I showed up at a Halloween party that said come in costume only to be the only guest to do so. I was a full fledged witch...unrecognizable, except Mike wasn't in costume either so it was rather embarrassing. There was another time that I was a witch and I won a costume contest and literally turned my girlfriend alabaster when I came into her bar before closing. One year Mike went as Guy Fieri and I was an Iron Chef.  Come to think of it, we won for that too. I really loved the days of costuming my kids. Teddy was a bear (of course), Barney and Sully in his first three Halloweens. He won a school contest the year he dressed up as a nerd. It was a riot. Lils has been an angel, a lady bug, a butterfly, a rock star, a nerd, a witch to name just a few. This year there won't be any costumes. Trick or treat is cancelled. I'm not sad that my door bell won't be ringing all day, but I do feel for the kids that are missing out on yet another tradition of childhood. It seems to me that there are so many simple ideas to trick or treat safely. We'll do our own thing: carve a couple pumpkins, light all the candles and cue up something scary. I'm grateful we all like thrillers.

Ted's reported that he's got plans to go to a small party. Madison used to be the place to be on Halloween. Now State Street is all boarded up after rioting and looting. I'm glad he's having a little fun. He's earned it. He's been working hard and he landed the internship for a fortune 500 company this summer. Lils took herself to Michaels this week to get the supplies to make a blanket. She recognized the need for an outlet...for stress relief. Right now school is all the work and none of the fun. At some point, we have to weigh the cons of this, the impact on mental health, the long-term consequences. I'm grateful my kids are smart and self-motivated. Strong too.

Before long, the kids will be embarking on their second semesters. October will be a memory and we'll be in the whirlwind of the holiday season. This is my favorite stretch of months every year. The pandemic hasn't changed that, but it does make it ever more important to find and savor the joy moments. Moments like curling up in bed with Tigger for a night of reading. I finally finished The Dearly Beloved. It was not hallowed by me. The characters were flat as pancakes. That is the kiss of death in a character-driven novel. I blew through The Guest List in 24 hours partially because it was overdue and also because it was a quick whodunnit. Last night I picked up Gilead. I think it may be too soon after Wall's novel to fully appreciate. Moments in my kitchen. This week I made a Morning Glory Bread that was packed with apples, carrots and pineapple and then topped with nuts. I roasted squash and toasted the seeds. This feels like a good weekend to have something simmering low and slow on the stove top. I think it's time for a batch of my mom's pumpkin bread. Time outside in the fresh fall air doing yard work and taking trail walks. These are the moments that make life feel normal during this time of uncertainty, hostility, and confinement. I'm always grateful for the extraordinary ordinary.