I said as much in your card, but I will say it again here: nineteen feels like a big deal...a big year...a big age. Every time I thought about it today, it gave me pause. Maybe because you are in the season of life of much change and growth. The passage of time these days seems to be especially significant.
I was able to wish you a happy birthday before you snuck out the door this morning in one of your snazzy new flannels. The one Dad proudly picked out for you. This was a very flannelly Christmas for you. Green too as in golf and cash. You were on your way to trade stock options with your friend and fellow gambler. You do not appreciate that I refer to your new "job" as gambling. To this I remind you that I am fifty. Fifty is a bigger deal...a bigger year...a bigger age than nineteen. I don't know everything, but I know enough that there are times you should heed my wisdom. Now you are
Truth is I am baked, cooked, shopped out. I apologize for giving birth to you two days after Christmas. I will be the first one to say that you get a bum deal every year. Only last minute parties, often no cake, combined gifts, no cards, few calls. I don't think you are any worse for the wear as we all can see that the life of Ted is charmed and full. And I did retrieve a single card for you in the mail a little bit ago. Thank you Grandma and Grandpa!
After dinner, Cole is having a party for you. You've been spending lots of time with your friends all home from college and you are in your element. This is your happy place. First semester in the books. An almost 4.0 in your college resume. A month off with your peeps. Time to work out and trade. Money in the bank. A ski trip on the horizon.
I'm happy for you. Seeing you and your sister happy is the purest joy I feel in my life full of blessings.
I also shared with you in your card that I am proud of you. As I wrote it I remembered your balking at all the expressions of pride you received at graduation. You felt you only did your job and maybe even that you could have done a better job. I won't argue with that despite the fact that you earned your gold cords. The pride I'm talking about though is not just about the impressive grades. I'm proud that you are finding your way, exploring your passions, making your own experience in Madison. I'm proud that you are working hard, of course, but also that you are giving of yourself. As much as you can remember that it is not always all about you, as much as you can keep yourself humble and practice kindness, as much as you can give back, I'm telling you that it will return one hundred fold.
That's the never-ending gift Ted. That's the infinite circle of good will and karma.
I love you without strings or conditions or limits always and forever.
Mama
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