No Apologies

Today feels like a Monday not like a holiday. I think the fact that I feel more like quietly reflecting than celebrating has much to do with the soupy day and my still sleeping house, but also because today marks the end of a summer I'm not ready to let go. It wasn't the most exciting 3 months we've ever shared, but that's the thing about summer: it's glorious by nature. Fine weather, freedom, fun; long days, late nights, longer weekends...well, they combine to reveal their own special blend of magic.

I'm battling my mother's intuition. A part of me thinks I should wake my kids up so they're good and tired tonight, but another part says, let them savor their sleep for one last day. They're still in bed. I've never been the mom to start enforcing bed times weeks before school starts. We usually eke out every last minute, go out with a bang and start the school year all baptism by fire. It's equal parts denial and disregard.

A small part of me is grateful for the stormy scene outside. My brother invited us for a beach day last night, and I said no even though I so strongly wanted to say yes. No thank you, we have so many things to do, I offered. I spared him the list. The truth is that the pull to spend one more day at the lake with my family is so strong that I fear if not for rain and thunder and lightning, I'd relent and we'd go. Damn homework and laundry and the fixings for lunches. Damn school supplies, the first day outfit, bright eyes and bushy tails. I successfully put these things off all weekend long.

Today we'll dig in and dig deep. Get what needs to be done and then we'll make homemade pizzas. It's a family favorite...a tradition we share. Teddy, who didn't cook anything but scrambled eggs all summer, is amped up to make the dough. We'll gather for dinner a little earlier than has been customary this summertime. We'll pray our thanks, toast to a new year and talk about what has been and what is to come. We'll go to bed a tad earlier, set alarms, hopefully sleep, and then we'll take it day by day. It's really the only way I know how to live life. And I'm good with that.