Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

Making the time to stop here this morning. It's something I'm not doing enough and I want to change that in 2019. It is one of my intentions to write more often.

This guy. He had off for the holidays and I was happy because he needed a break. He wrapped almost all of our presents, worked out at the club with Ted a few times and spent some time relaxing.

My family.

When all you have to bring to Christmas Eve dinner is the side.

Taking your boss a par-baked Lisa's pizza, which just happens to be his favorite and hearing him say that it was the best gift he's received in a long time.

We are now living in fort Knox. Casa Wags is camerad up. The good news is we have only seen raccoons and cats and opossum lurking on our porches.

Tigger is my playboy and preener. He begs for us to pick up strings and his favorite brush.

Peanut always has either food or cuddling on the brain. The other day I left the kitchen for not more than a couple minutes and he crawled up on the counter to drag this stick of butter to his favorite chair. And as you can see, he managed to break through the packaging and help himself to a taste.

We're still very much enjoying the Christmas tree and will be for some time to come. My goal is to get it curbside on the last possible day of pick up.

Ted knows how to play Backgammon now. My dad wants him to learn crib. After dinner on Christmas Eve, he suggested a game of poker and he took everyone's money.

My view these days. In my favorite chair with my favorite throw with a cat on my lap and a movie on the tv. 

January. It's slow and steady. Still a little festive. I still feel the hygge.

Holiday Life

It's funny to me the way that so much of the world is done with Christmas January 2nd. Trees are dragged out to the curb, the egg nog is poured down the drain and good will goes out the window. The rat race resumes and resolutions set in. Don't get me wrong. I know that we have to return to the real world so we can pay for all the presents that were wrapped pretty under the tree just last week. I grant you that the needles start to fall and fast. It's true that resolutions are good things. The thing is...I'm just unable to flip the switch so flippantly. I'm a hold out every year and I cannot...I will not...apologize for the fact that I like to let the holiday peace and joy, and the seasonal hygge linger into the new year. 

To that end I must confess that I'm still eating Christmas cookies with my coffee, watching Christmas movies (The Christmas Chronicles was really clever and cute) and working on my intentions for 2019. I'm excited about the upcoming year. The last one was tough. 2018 involved deep introspection, messy excavating, confronting fears, overcoming doubts, taking scary chances and ultimately growth in self love, respect and confidence. The thing is I am happy. Happier than I've been in such a long time and I want more of that. I don't want stagnation or complacency although I'm quite fine with a little coasting and basking right now.

Christmas was really phenomenal this year. All of our celebrations. I felt present and blessed and loved. I had a calmness about me going into the holiday week that I believe was a factor in my ability to just go with the it, show up, expect little, enjoy a lot. 

Christmas Eve we celebrated at my Dad's. It's a long haul for all of us, but it makes him so happy to host that it's worth it. My step-mom loves to decorate and my dad loves to plan and execute the meal. This year he committed to beef wellington. He made the duxelle and the pate himself and it was delicious. 

Ted drove us home in the wee hours. I was the first one up Christmas morn, but I didn't have to quick get Santa gifts out or eat cookies. Instead I hung out with my cats and my coffee and I waited for the rest of the house and my monkey bread to rise. We had to coax T. Bone out of bed because Lil was ready to attack the pile. The boys were ready to attack their banana.

The kids were gracious and I believe very happy. Lily was most excited about the Nike shoes she wanted that she didn't think she was getting, but I scoured the Internet until I finally found a pair and then I prayed that this obscure website would actually deliver. She opened her air pods last and they were disguised in a much bigger box. She was surprised and I was not about the fact that they've scarcely left her ears since Christmas morning. Ted didn't have much on his wish list this year and he acknowledged that was a sign that he doesn't need or want for much. Hands down his favorite gift was his Patagonia sweater, and it is a beaut. He's worn it every other day. He'll appreciate the Visa gift card when he takes his ski trip over spring break. I surprised my guy with an overnight in Green Lake to see Willy Porter in February. All good.

We couldn't linger over brunch with a game because family was waiting for us for another celebration. Mike filled his deviled eggs (it's what he always brings to his Mom and Dad's) and I plated a gigantic tray of cookies and we set out for another lovely celebration. We ate, we drank, we laughed and I didn't take many pictures, but it was a good time with brothers and cousins.

Baby Teddy turned 18 on the 27th and at the last minute we pulled together a family dinner at his favorite pizza place. It happens to be my dad and my brother's favorite too. It was a wonderful, impromptu celebration for a milestone birthday. The icing on the cake was that a bunch of Ted's friends came over after we got home for pie. French silk at the birthday boy's request. Mike pulled the one gift wrapped in 3 boxes trick. The birthday boy was only mildly annoyed until he found a new phone in the last box.

We were proactive this year in making New Year's plans. We almost always celebrate with the same families, but it's usually rather last minute. This year Mike and I decided well in advance that we would host an adult's only dinner party because let's be real the teenagers want to hang out with their friends not their parents. Both kids had plans that night. I set the table pretty with china, stocked up on champs and planned an easy menu. Mike and I hit up Gloriosos for the fixings for lasagna and a very scrumptious antipasto salad. Panna cotta with fresh berries and homemade Irish Cream was dessert, which we enjoyed while playing a game. It was a perfect night with some of my most cherished friends. The boys even did the dishes.

New Year's day was the perfect stay in  pajamas and watch movies all day kind of day. Three total. We took a break to roast some mouth watering lobster tails and toast the new year. I think we're off to quite a stellar start.

Dear Teddy,

I'm the mother to an 18 year old for a couple days now and not much has changed. You see no matter your age, you'll always be my baby. You made me a mom on December 27th, 2000 after 8 hours of labor, and it's been a labor of love ever since. It's the most rewarding, most cherished job I've ever had and to see you grow into such a fine young man with a bright future in your purview makes my heart happy. It's all we want for our children...to find their way with smiles on their faces, love in their hearts and peace in their souls. 

It's all about roots and wings...providing you with a solid foundation and then helping you dream big. You know that as you go out in the world to live your passions, you always have a safe and loving home to return to. It's why we spend so much time trying to teach you brick by brick the important stuff. Practical things like write thank yous when you receive a gift because the expression of gratitude is never overrated. Little things like speak when spoken to, and engage, ask questions, then listen. The art of communication is priceless. Since you were just a little shaver, I'd get compliments about your personable and polished conversational skills. All your friends parents and older siblings loved you. They still do because you are outgoing and funny and friendly. Make your bed, brush your teeth and wear your retainer. Those straight teeth of yours cost us almost 10k! Eat your daily 5. Your body is a temple and you must treat it as such. The truth is that you eat better than I do these days and you are strong and fit. You work out nearly every day.

There are also the less tangible, but even more important things that your dad and I've tried to instill in you. Things like humility, compassion, faith and kindness. You know that you are the center of our world together with your sister, but not THE world. You also know that your world is blessed and that we must care for those who do not share our bounty. You know that you are entitled to be proud of your strengths in school and sports, but that there is no need to boast or let your ego get big. You have seen conflict and you've learned lessons of forgiveness. You've experienced loss and witnessed grief. In this house...in this family...we feel our feelings. Good and bad.

As much as we've taught you, you've been teaching us all along too. Being a mother has opened my heart in ways I never thought possible. It's true when you have children, you understand what it means to live with your heart outside your body. When you hurt, I hurt. I've had to learn that I cannot fix your slights or take away your pain. I can only be here for you as you weather your storms. 

I've also learned that I have to say no sometimes. You probably think that I enjoy it, but I never want to say no to you dangerous situations aside. I want to spoil you rotten, but that doesn't do you any good. There are times I must nag, prod and probe as much as it annoys you. It's my job to ask questions, to tell you to drive safely, to remind you to do your chores. I'm your mom not your friend. I have to let you make your own decisions even when I don't necessarily agree with them. You are going to forgo your spot as captain of the golf team this year for one last season of baseball. I'll be in the stands cheering. I trust you because I know what kind of person you are.

I insist on a hug before you leave for school every morning and I try to tell you that I love you before bed every night. You may not need these things right now, but I need to you to know that I do.

I love you to the moon and back forever and ever.

Mom