Weekending

Today would have been a good day to know the weather. I woke up to at least six inches of snow and it's still coming down. It's the kind of snow that you cannot see the road from the yard: a world literally white washed. It's the kind of day that I love with all my heart especially when I don't have to go anywhere. Luckily I can stay home today. Thankfully my brother in law has offered to clear my driveway as Mike is gone. I'm grateful he's such a good guy because when he's done, I'm going to ask him to drive me to Lil's friend's house where she enjoyed some much needed girl time and a sleepover last night, so that I can drive her car home. She has little experience with this kind of driving. Ted is on my shit list for timing his exit to Madison so cleverly.

Actually, I take that back. The timing was not at all very smart. We didn't get on the road until 3 o'clock. That was after he slept in, had a workout, recovered his lost wallet, packed, stopped at the grocery and at Costco. The car was packed by me and Lils while he made a smoothie and heated up some lunch. The irony in this is that we knew this day was coming from the day he came home in mid December. How is it always such a cluster you know what? He drove 80 and we jammed to his tunes for the 90 miles. I've been listening to them for so long, they almost feel like my tunes now. I'm not going to miss them though. I was grateful we didn't get a ticket. We sherpad in all of his belongings, made his bed, put away some of his clothes and then we Houdinied before dark only to find a parking ticket on the car. I knew there would be a ticket some time that day.

We skipped a stop at the outlet mall trying to beat the snow that was supposed to start at 6 o' clock. We did go thru the Chick Fil A line for dinner. Our first and last meal of the day. I enjoyed every bite of my chicken sandwich while watching the Bachelor. Yes, I'm admitting it. After breaking ties for numerous seasons, I've been sucked back in. I realized that it was the first time I've been alone in my house in as long as I can remember. I poured a glass of wine and enjoyed the quiet. Weekday wine is not a thing right now. Vacationday wine is though, and for the record, so is snowday wine. Keeping it real.

The weekend was a gem. Cousin Gina came to town and she joined us at Windmill Beach for the fourth annual WB Winter Olympics. There was much reminiscing (she was 10 when Ted was born), competing and catching up. Mike was the champ again this year upsetting Ted's two year run. I was just happy to take the bronze in ping pong and the gold in Boggle. My brother conceded after one word game in the finals realizing he could never come back. My trash talking worked. We had a delicious Mexican feast, but I think the egg sandwiches the next morning were my fave after staying up almost until sunrise. We never learn.

 

 

We ended up staying for the Packer game. Their play was a serious disappointment. And just like that the season's over. We got home after dark, which was not the plan at all, but we were in a go with the flow state of mind. It's something I'm working on this year. I started on laundry STAT and tried to get as prepared as possible for the next day's trips as I'm still anal to the core.

I was sad to see Gina go and sad to take Ted back, but happy for the time together. She's doing great in Austin, a city I'd love to and will visit one day, and Ted is back living his own life in his cozy apartment with a stocked frig. Life is good and boy do I know it.

weekending

this time of year feels like limbo. we're post-holiday, pre-spring. once i come to terms with it and settle in, i kind of love the easy, open stretch of days sans engagements and obligations. i can always find something to do to keep myself occupied or entertained. this weekend was the perfect example of doing just that.  

friday night i finally got to work taking down the big tree. the small one is still up. dechristmasing cold turkey is not for me. i felt it was time and the branches were turning brown. i put on music, pour a glass of wine and take my time. it's my job. mike takes off the lights. ted came home from his trip from florida and went to the club stat. workouts being what he missed most. he had a great time golfing and beaching it. he's tan and his hair is blonder. i made chicken tacos for dinner. i faintly remember when fridays were pizza night before workouts and healthy eating took top priority. for so many years it was our job to prompt the kids. Now they motivate us.

lil's and i enjoyed a walk on saturday afternoon. the fresh air was invigorating. my blood was pumping trying to keep up with my long legged girl. so despite the fact that we were both tuning into our own pod casts, she's good company. she's been on a serious exercise kick. after a few miles, she continued her workout in the basement. ted and mike came home from the club just before game time.

my brother and sil came with old school subs. mike grilled our favorite chicken wings. we cheered on the packers to a well-deserved victory. it was first a productive and then a fun family day.

i woke up sunday on a mission to clean and purge. it felt good to organize cabinets and drawers. then i made a massive pot of vegetable soup and two loaves of pheasant bread. enough to share with alan who will be tending to his wife after surgery tomorrow. the soup smelled so good that it was a unanimous family decision that it would be the night's dinner instead of the intended pork roast. it was a wise choice. ted joined me before bed to read side by side. it was a great way to end the weekend.

 

Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

Cuing up Family Secrets yesterday and hearing Ruthie Lindsey's story. Her message was powerful. I think I'll be reading There I Am.

I have been news free for over a week. I'm so out of it that I don't even know the weather. So far so good.

I'm thinking about taking a permanent break from Instagram because I'm so disgusted with the way these big tech companies are censoring us, spying on us and influencing us. I don't use other platforms. I love Instagram so I need to mull it over. For many years, it has been my daily gratitude journal. I feel fine with my relationship with it, but I can only show my disapproval by taking my "business" elsewhere.

Mike made us Spaghetti Squash Arrabiata and we loved it. It tasted naughty, but it was not. It was dinner with a slice of chicken breast and I think it will be again this week.

We picked out our family room furniture and I cannot wait to get it, but wait we will for 16-20 weeks. It's okay though because it's going to be worth it.

Teddy is having lots of fun in Florida. People are out and about there. I find it irritating that the large population of at risk elderly people who live there are living their lives while I'm stuck at home trying to protect them.

The Packers play Saturday. I have not been a big fan this year, but it's something we can all look forward to while we're stuck at home. 

A vase of happy tulips.

 The days are getting noticeably longer.

An Early Morning Epiphany

My new planner came early. It was waiting for me when I got home yesterday. To say I was excited, is an understatement. I spent the better part of the evening setting goals and getting organized. I may have gone to the basement to dig out the old bin full of stickers from when the kids thought stickers were the best. Lily found her old scratch and sniff stickers and used the word nostalgia. I got to work giving my planner some personality.

I always have a planner. I'm old fashioned and I'm a writer. You will never convince me to rely on my phone for anything other than calls, texts and pictures. This year I decided I wanted to find a planner that  offered more than space to record appointments and dates and to dos. The pretty rose gold Clever Fox planner I chose helps with setting yearly, quarterly, monthly and weekly goals and when I tell you it's already working, I'm telling you the truth.

I make intentions, but rarely write them down. People have sung praises about specificity, measurability and accountability, and I've always said that doesn't work for or motivate me. Ha! I was wrong. By writing down in ink that my weekly goal is to exercise 4 times this week, and by identifying that one of my habits this week is to be up by 8:00 a.m., I ended up out for a walk on this beautiful morning rather than hitting snooze between 7:50 and 8:30. I wanted those check marks.

During said walk, I cued up an episode of Family Secrets. This week is all about moving again. While I was listening to Ruthie Lindsay's story and fighting back tears for the duration, it became clear to me that next week has to center around spirituality (and moving and getting up earlier and...too). It is time now to shift the focus from material and physical things. And while it's true that objects, worries, ailments, anxieties carry more meaning during difficult times, we don't have to let them. I'm craving connection and that profound sense of something much larger than myself. I'm seeking balance and meaning and peace. I'm looking for the purpose and the path.

I came home from my walk feeling stirred. I needed a good mixing. 

Last night Lils and I talked about how I've been feeling and being grumpy lately. I own it. Self-reflection disturbs ones equilibrium. Soul searching dredges up fears, insecurities, wounds, weaknesses, flaws: things we try to hide from ourselves so that we can maintain that sense of stability. It's also damn hard work that it would be easier not to do. I confessed that to my lovely daughter and was very honest about why I've been a little crankier and shorter than usual. I didn't apologize, but I will. She was understanding...forgiving. I did apologize to Mike. We ended up having a pleasant family dinner. We all pitched in and then gathered. It was a good night.

And today will be a good day.

Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

Perseverance and sticktoitness. We got through the first full week of the new year. It was a doozy on all fronts. I'm irritable. I don't feel great, but I've been doing almost all of the things I said I was going to do.

Our daily celery juice is already clearing up my eczema. I make it first thing in the morning for Lils and I. I'm glad she's on the juice train too because as much as I love my Breville juicer, I don't enjoy cleaning it. I'd do just about anything for her though. The juice itself is palatable. The tricks are to add in some cucumber and lemon and then to serve it in a pretty glass.

I've been reading more. I started Greenlights at the end of last year and finished it this year. I was excited for it after the first few pages, but I came to find out that the hype over this memoir was unwarranted. MM came off more as entitled than enlightened imo. I struggle with saying that because memoirs by design are self-indulgent, but I came away feeling that he thinks he's more God than man. That didn't sit well with me. And my last criticism is that his poetry made me laugh. Like cringey lol. I'll finish I Miss You When I Blink this week. I am finding Philpott much more relatable. Then after You Should Talk to Someone, I should be in the mood for some fiction.

Taking care of things I've been putting off. This week it was the dentist, and I also made appointments for an overdue mammogram and colonoscopy. Just making the appointments makes me feel lighter. In resisting what I know I need to do, I give it so much energy. I know this and yet I do it all the time.

Next week I'm adding in exercise and I'm going to get serious about going to bed earlier and getting up at a more reasonable hour. I cannot take on everything at once. I know that to be a recipe for failure.

A new planner even though I won't get it until just about February. I did my research this year and was so excited about the planner I chose in early December. Excited enough to order it all the way from Australia. Well, with the shit show that is delivery these days, I never got it. I finally picked out another planner, but it's out of stock. 

I left my phone at home one day this week and I really didn't miss, think about it all day, or feel twitchy, lost or anxious. I can say that I'm not addicted to my phone. Last night I watched The Social Dilemma. It is more horror film than documentary. Everyone needs to watch this film and then to change behaviors. I'm still processing what I learned and I plan to watch it again with my kids. 

Before that I watched Pieces of a Woman. I've been waiting for its release on Netflix. It was the perfect companion for a girl in a funk on a gray Friday afternoon. The story was compelling and the acting was poignant.

Mike and I are very close to pulling the trigger on new family room furniture. I just need to decide fabric for pillows. The devil is in the details. We may not get it until May, but that will give us time to do the floor and second guess our decisions.

A stop out with Mike after furniture shopping. The establishment was abuzz. It was a bright spot of my week...getting out of the house, being with other people, seeing that people are living their lives.

I'm already noticing that the days are stretching. I don't wish winter away. I embrace it. It's been mild so I have no reason to complain.

Ted leaves for Florida Sunday morning. It will be a nice break for him...for us.

My cousin sent me the cutest little box of succulents. The timing was perfect because all my Christmas plants are getting leggy. She's coming to town at the end of the month. It will be so good to see her.

 

 

Weekending

It has been a leisurely lazy weekend. I haven't left the house since we Ubered home very early on New Year's Day and I have been rocking my pjs around the clock. I'm unapologetic for my sloth. My post holiday blues and the weather conspired to make it inevitable. It snowed all day on the first...that wet heavy snow that clings to bare branches. I had my first cocoa bomb in lieu of coffee and it was so rich and naughty and I'm grateful there's only one left. Mike and I cozied in for our first and then second Christmas movies of the season. We watched Four Christmases again and then put in Love, Actually. Mike baked a spiral ham. We had sammies for dinner. We may have watched two more movies before bed that night before which I changed out of one set of pjs and into another. Don't be jealous.

I was up reasonably early Saturday. Straight away I got started on tidying and organizing the house. I have not yet put away Christmas. Before I knew it, it was 3 o'clock and I was still in my pjs when my brother and sil stopped by for a hello. We finished the entire bowl of Chex Mix Mike had just made. I was thinking about ordering Chinese for dinner, but Ted came home from broom ball and he's our resident health coach. We had chicken, wild rice and asparagus instead and all felt better for it. Tomorrow is the day we hit reset. No more egg nog, or fairy food or weekday wine. All of the cookies are gone. We made the last delivery yesterday. There's one slice of French silk and a chocolate mousse that won't last the day. Mike and I watched two movies last night. At the end of the night, Lils and I retired to the living room to read beside the tree. When Ted arrived home, he joined us. It was a favorite moment of the whole weekend: the three of us sprawled out on couches books in hand. Btw I liked Matthew McConaughey a lot more before I started his book, and I'm thinking he should stick to acting.

Today I must leave the house and I'm not happy about it. The hygge spell must be broken. All good things must come to an end. Tomorrow it's back to work and school for most of us. Ted is heading to Windmill Beach for the week with his boys to run on the shore and make music. We'll be here working hard, eating healthy, exercising daily because this is January.