Smart Choices

I think I'm figuring out how to do quarantine. The best way for me to quarantine. I'm late to the table because I've been resisting the change as I'm wont to do. As I always do: good and bad. And here we have an agent of change that is very bad, but the changes can be very good. If this forced time as shut ins makes us all more grateful for our loved ones, leaves us more satisfied with our home lives, fills us with a feeling of gratitude for those often overlooked or underappreciated, then I can say that good can come from bad. Of course, I feel the need to point out that the economy is in free fall. What retirement? Oh, and the trillions of dollars of debt we're adding to the trillions we already have...well there are repercussions for that. For our children and grand children. This is reality, but so is the Wuhan Flu. It's a time for difficult choices. Smart choices.

Yesterday was such a good day that I made the smart choice to set my alarm again this morning, and then to actually get up out of bed. I guess that's two smart choices. This feels like a normal Sunday morning. The house is quiet and I'm enjoying my solitude. Normal right now is not overrated or to be taken for granted. The reason that yesterday was such a gem had everything to do with making a plan and getting exercise. I've decided that every day should involve a task, a treat and some time together.  Also that after the plan is made, it's a good thing to be flexible. Mike and I deep cleaned the basement. I finally put away all the Christmas that was piled up on the craft table. He even vacuumed the couches and I washed all the throws. We're spending more time down there so it was something I wanted to do. That was the task. The treat was popcorn popped the naughty way: in oil on the stove and then topped with lots of melted butter and salt. The together time was a movie date before dinner. We splurged and paid $19.99 for a new release so I guess that was another treat. The Invisible Man was entertaining for the whole family Tigger included. After the show, we started dinner. I picked up a beautiful tenderloin Friday and Mike cooked it on the grill. And yes, that was definitely one more treat. I ended the day reading until I dozed off. I made it through about 40 pages so that's progress.

Today is another gray day. I'm fine with that. I think dreary days make quarantine easier. I'm thinking about another walk. Yesterday Mike and I went out even though the sky was spitting. The parkway was busy with neighbors and everyone was respectful of distance and friendly unlike my experience the other day. It renewed a little bit of my faith in people just when I needed it. Today's task is to tackle the stacks of paperwork I have covering the ping pong table...to sort, file and shred. Mike is going to set up the Wii. We retrieved the various parts from friends and bought some new remotes from a neighbor so we're good to go. When I'm done here, I plan on starting my marinara sauce. It's spaghetti and meatballs for dinner tonight. That is the best kind of  treat. Today's together time will involve games: Wii, ping pong and probably Qwirkle, and Sunday dinner. This is a typical Sunday here at Casa Wags and there is comfort in that.

What Day Is It?

It doesn't take long to lapse into a new routine. I'm using the word lapse deliberately because one of my new habits is sleeping in. It's not something I'm proud of and yet I'm leaning in to this late blooming slothful side of myself. To be fair, I've been staying up later too, but I miss my early morning solitude and that feeling of getting a jump on the day. I've been getting up at 10:30 most mornings. This morning I was up at 9 o'clock, but I decided to go back to sleep because I was enjoying my dream. I cannot remember it now. That about sums things up.

In the middle of the night, I was startled awake by a noise that I can only describe as ruckus in the street. I bolted to the window a couple times then settled back down only to hear it again. Mike finally filled me in. It was thunder. I tell you, everything feels like an assault right now. I don't remember ever being scared of thunder.

The kids are still sleeping, but not for long. Mike and I are making breakfast. I made my easy eggs Benedict and Mike made an impressive fruit salad. Teddy has plans to run in between rain storms with his a friend and work on his paper on the plea system. We have a mother son date to make banana ice cream this afternoon and a family movie date in the family room at 3:30. I'm finding it's important to have a plan, a semblance of a schedule. Otherwise the day slips away and I've done nothing but spin my wheels.

Speaking of wheels, cleaning my car was yesterday's project and yes I'm really blogging about it. It was a mess after getting stuck in the mud at the lake last weekend. We were spinning our wheels and yes it felt like a metaphor for reality these days. Lily came along for the ride to the car wash. She's a go no matter where we're going these days as long as she can drive. I had to laugh because she declared that vacuuming the van was satisfying. She's definitely mine. We made our weekly trip to the grocery store afterward and were able to get everything on our list and some things on Linda's too. We boycotted a hike because it was cold and gray and getting late. Ted went for a hike on the dunes 30 miles north with a friend and Mike met a friend for a little happy hour. The two amigos called all their other high school buddies from here and there and caught up. Some of them have been out of contact for a long time. I guess I'm saying that if there's anything good to come out of this perhaps it's a renewed appreciation for the people in our lives, for our connections. I've talked to my dad and Judy every day when normally we catch up once a week. I've been texting my uncle regularly too. So there's that. Lily and I took advantage of a great sale and did a little online shopping when we got home. Mike came home with carryout Chinese for dinner. It was nice to have the night off from cooking even though I was hoping for fish. These days we take what we can get. I'm reminded of my old friend Barney: You get what you get and you don't throw a fit.

Today I'm going to drop off a care package for Linda: her groceries, some banana bread and a book. She's been cooped up alone for 2 weeks and I can tell she's a little lonely. I'll get some exercise and work on getting the basement sorted.  That's enough. I've got to leave some line items for tomorrow and the day after and so forth and so on. Rumor has it that this is reality until April 24th.

Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

I'm taking a break from the anxiety and dubiousness to focus on the bright spots.

I never thought I'd say this, but I'm thankful for all of our devices. They are allowing us to work from home, attend school from home and stay in touch with family and friends.

That this guy is home. It's been a bit of an adjustment- all of us home all of the time- but I wouldn't want in any other way during these uncertain times.

This girl for getting me out of the house when my agoraphobia sets in. We've been taking daily hikes. The fresh air and the endorphins are tried and true mood resetters.

Even though the park was packed, we found a trail all to ourselves.

Yesterday, we chatted for a couple miles and then we agreed we'd put on our head phones for the duration of our walk. We're in sync. Simpatico.

This lovable lap cat. He's in heaven with so much attention lately. When we need a break, we seek him out for cuddles and it's a win win.

We're avid home cooks quarantine or not, and we're serving up lots of comfort food these days. This dough was enough for 6 pizzas Saturday night, and then Mike made 2 pizzas for our lunch yesterday one pepperoni and one chicken alfredo. We're all pitching in. Coming together at the island for dinner every night.

I made my mom's zucchini recipe this week. I'm missing her something fierce right now.

BLTs on homemade pheasant bread are my new favorite sandwich.

This is my spicy dal with naan. It's my first curry dish. My first Indian recipe. It won't be my last.

Brown butter, oats and rosemary Irish Soda Bread is a make again.

These strawberry cream cupcakes were filled with fresh berries and cream and they were a huge hit at work and at home. Not one left.

Chocolate Stout Cake for our spring birthday celebration. The last for the foreseeable future.

Fresh flowers. They're little reminders of hope. Renewal. Beauty.

The eagle landed when we made our return loop on Marine Drive.

Did I mention I'm grateful for this ginger goofball? You cannot have too many cute cat pictures during times like these.

I'm thankful for this guy. He's my rock. He's been working hard and keeping us calm.

Our last date was at the busy Public Market a few weeks ago.We went after church. They're both shuttered now.

I'm so thankful we walked around the city after dinner instead of heading straight home.

The girls danced around the city under the Worm Moon.

I'm beyond grateful for my home. Always. But now even more.

And I'm grateful that while it's hard to find TP, I can still stock up on wine.

I'm grateful for Netflix, books, games and puzzles. We're deep into Bloodline, I'm finally making headway in The Hearts Invisible Furies, we rediscovered Qwirkle and we're going to do a road trip puzzle since we're stuck at home.

I'm thankful for Amazon and all the delivery drivers who are doing their jobs.

I give huge thanks for all the healthcare workers who are working hard on the front lines.

I'm thankful that everyone I know is healthy.

6 Feet Apart

It's been a rough couple of days. As I write this, I am fully aware that rough is a relative term. I am also cognizant of the fact that worldwide we're in this together. Greenland is the only continent spared.

Yesterday I slept in. Right now sleep is the only sure escape. I woke up and had to stop in at work STAT. I needed to take care of something that came up in spite of the ban on nonessential businesses. I can think of a few people that would argue with the expendibility of our business. It was interesting that it almost seemed business as usual. We have a doctor and a medical lab in the building, but other tenants were working too. I came home and crawled back in bed with my book. I read until I fell back to sleep despite obviously being caught up on my shut eye. Yesterday, I was able to read for a couple extended sessions. Extended being maybe 30 minutes. I lack patience right now. I finally gave into Lily's request to take a hike. We headed to Lion's Den with the rest of Ozaukee County. It was as busy as I've ever seen it. That's not my preference and yet it was just what I needed to get out and move, to breathe, to connect with my cutie. She has such a positive outlook on this world we're living in right now. Her optimism and sticktoitness helped lessen my load. At the beach, which has all but eroded, we gathered a sack of rocks to paint and found several heart shaped rocks too. On the way back, we had the path to ourselves and a lone bald eagle flew just above the treeline overhead. It was thrilling.

Of the many people we passed, only one man returned our smiles. There were no hellos, waves or nods. There was zero acknowledgement. I have to say that I think we're taking this social distancing a tad far. Lily noticed it too. We aren't going to contract Corona by greeting each other from the appropriate 6 feet apart. A smile is not viral, but that warmth is contagious.

So Lily and I are on a mission to #sparkjoy. Today we're going to paint the rocks we gathered and leave them when we are out and about for others to find. Forget random acts of kindness. These times call for deliberate acts of good will. Also we need something to do.

After our hike, we attempted to go through the Starbucks drive thru. Lily was looking forward to it all day, but it's closed now too. First world problems, but she was disappointed. The kids had crepes for dinner topped with raspberries and cream. That was a mood booster. We Facetimed with my brother. It was his birthday. It made me smile that he made my mom's beef stroganoff for dinner. We're all seeking comfort. We're nostalgic for less complicated times. We're making sacrifices and trying to quell fears. We're uncertain what the world will look like when we're on the other side of this. All of us. Together while 6 feet apart.

Vent

It was good for the mind, body and soul to say yes to a quick 24 hours at Windmill Beach over the weekend. A change of scenery was welcome and the Lake Michigan shore is not just any back drop. The sky was moody and the surf was loud and tempestuous. Stormy sums up my demeanor right now. I'm unsettled and ill at ease to my core and I found the camaraderie with nature comforting. I never needed a virus to impart upon me the importance of family time, or slowing down, or the little things that matter big in life. It seems like so many people are just viewing this as an extended vacation. They are discovering walks, game nights and family dinners for the first time. I cannot wrap my head around that even while I understand the need to create some sense of peace and normalcy especially for young children. Family and the life we share here at Casa Wags is paramount to me every day quarantine or not.

I know in my heart that we're all just doing our best to keep our heads above water in these uncharted seas. We're looking for buoys and silver linings. It's just that the pessimist in me is rearing it's ugly head. I'm not proud, I'm just being honest.

We did what we normally do when we are all together. We played games, cooked together, exercised. We're still on a Wizard kick, but the boys played some crib too. Then they did all the prep work on the pizzas and that was such a treat. We stayed up too late singing songs and cocktailing. I set my alarm to get up for the sunrise, but I left it in the sun room. The sun was well on it's way when I met the day at after 10 o'clock. My aunt called and we chatted. Commiserated. Some of us went for a long run. The rest of us went for a brisk walk. We bundled up and went out onto the road and I'm telling you it felt a little odd. The highlight of the walk was the bald eagle sighting. We came home for breakfast. Brad was the chef again. He served up camel's eyes to order and grilled the bacon on the deck. He's such a good uncle that he made Lily a buffalo chicken burrito to order. She's yet to grasp the idea of sacrifice.

She drove home. On the highway. I didn't say ooo ooo ooo once. Tigger was happy to see us. He's been so accustomed to having us home that I think he really missed us. It was a fend and veg night. Leftovers and dvr'd tv. Ted went to a friend's. I question every time he leaves whether we should be letting him go, but then I relent because this small circle of friends have been together for weeks. It looks like that will be curtailed in the coming days.

This morning I woke to snow. I took my time getting motivated, but I went in to work mid morning. Alan and I caught up, Linda called in with her report, I made a cup of coffee, I got to work. I finished a couple projects I've been putting off.  It felt so normal. Then the governor tweeted that tomorrow he's closing all non-essential businesses. I feel like they're already closed. We have 400 cases in our state of almost 6 million. I'm sorry, but I cannot help but feel this is a little extreme, or else there's a whole lot we've not been told. That's just the skeptical, discerning part of me that takes over when things don't add up.

I had to make an appointment at the bank to do business. The lobby is closed. That's just a little alarming. More alarming was the way I was verbally accosted by a woman who came up to bank without an appointment. It's not a good thing to try and limit people's access to their hard earned money that's losing value as I type.

As I type, I'm realizing there are more people living in my neighborhood than I ever fathomed. I see them walking the streets - keeping appropriate social distance, of course. We're either going to be anti-social and agoraphobic when this is over, or else we'll be forever on the go. Right now my money is on the former.

Time will tell. I'm confessing that I'm starting out this second week a little weak in spirit. I have a heavy heart. A stress headache. Not outright panic, but dull and nagging despair. A little depression. And I know I'm not alone.

Keeping On

I couldn't sleep last night. I was tossing and turning so I moved down to the couch. On my way down the stairs, I kicked over a container and woke up the person I was trying not to disturb. I was up with the sun after a fitful few hours. It snowed for awhile. Just light flurries. I was surprised because I haven't seen a weather report in a week. I'm packing to go away for a bit and I have no idea whether I should be bringing wool or not. I am.

Teddy went out for a run with some friends earlier. They stood around the yard at a distance when they were done. Normally, they would come in for breakfast. Of course, there is no normal right now. Lily's been Facetiming with friends. Technology is actually making this easier. Can you imagine the isolation we'd suffer if not for our connections?

Mike's making pizza dough right now for dinner tonight. Last night I made Spicy Dal and we scooped it up with garlicky naan. I was very happy. It was delicious and satisfying and meatless. I love the way a few simple ingredients can come together in such a surprising way. I adapted the recipe from Mark Bittman's new cookbook, which I have on loan until at least May 1. That's the earliest date the library will reopen. There are plenty of other recipes I want to try so I guess that's a bonus. Mike and I watched Bloodline in the basement. I made him put on the twinkle lights and I felt like a teenager. Ted staked his claim on the family room and Lily tucked away in her room. We're quite blessed to have the space to spread out.

It will be good to be at Windmill Beach for a stretch and a breath of fresh air although I must confess that I have a touch of anxiety over leaving home. I know it will be good to take a walk along the lake, play games and make homemade pizzas with my family. It may be a good time to set an alarm so I'm up to watch the sunrise. I can use  a little awe and amazement in my life right now.

It Takes Guts

It's getting more and more difficult to get out of bed in the morning. It didn't help that I had a virtual happy hour with my aunt last night. I have a headache. From the wine. The boys made dinner. Irish sausages, roasted cabbage and potatoes and corn. We have plenty of food, but so much of it is frozen. I have to look at meal planning right now in a new way.

It's Friday, but it doesn't feel like it. The days are blurring into one another. I feel like we're just waiting and no one knows how long we'll be living like this.

My first stop this morning was the grocery store. It was a madhouse, but people weren't panicking or buying out the store. It was strange though. I feel like everyone is eyeing up everyone else. We're all suspicious.  Who has the virus? Why is that person wearing a mask? Did that person just cough? Shoppers definitely weren't 6 feet apart. The only thing I couldn't get was fresh garlic and I'm of the opinion that has little to do with the virus. Also the entire aisle of paper products was wiped out, but I'm stocked up in that department. No yeast. They had chicken again so that was good. I bought some lentils and rice, but only because I want to try a new curry recipe and we were out of rice. Lily is on a Buffalo Chicken Wrap roll. I bought another dozen eggs because Teddy eats 4 for breakfast every day.

Then I stopped in at the office to take care of a few things. Alan already left. I made a mug of green tea and got to work. It is good to get out of the house for a bit. A new company is moving into our building. The office remodeling continues in spite of the virus. A dog barks in another office. These are the things that make me feel at ease. Life going on. Perseverance.

I'm on day 4 without news. It turns out you don't need to watch it because it's the only thing everyone is talking about. I just need a little break. I think we all just need a little break. Some good news. A ray of sunshine. A collective hug.

Groundhog Day

It was even harder to get out of bed today than it was yesterday. Somehow I knew it in my bones that it was dreary and damp outside. A blanket of thick fog outside matched the miasma clouding my mind. It's almost like Groundhog Day, only not a bit humorous.  Happy first day of spring. The kids were still sleeping and Mike was busy at work at the kitchen island. I made a mug of hot lemon water and took a long hot shower. The highlight of my morning is a new pair of jeans that were delivered yesterday. I forgot I ordered them. I packed a container of last night's leftovers for lunch. 

We had a feast. Mike grilled balsamic chicken breasts and I made a big pot of pasta aglio olio, and sauteed a few bunches of broccolini. After dinner, we played a family game of Wizard. I went from the champ over the weekend to dead last.We all retired to different corners of the house in search of a little space. I was happy to lose myself in 1960's Dublin for awhile. I was finally able to escape in my book. Tigger curled up beside me purring so loudly there couldn't be a worry in the world.

Before dinner, Teddy was running with a friend on the high school track and they were asked by security to leave. Lily's friend's family has decided to quarantine so there was no communing yesterday. I don't get it, but I respect it. Fear is running rampant. This morning I was told that the daughter of a friend of a co-worker's acquaintance received notice that Marshall Law will be the law of the land starting Saturday. Oh, this woman apparently works for a micro hospital in some podunk town. Please people at least consider the source before you set your hair on fire.

Alan just ran to get some lunch. The grocery store was calm and well stocked. We reached out to our neighbor last night. She lives alone and she's in that at risk group so we just wanted her to know that we can help. She's come to our rescue numerous times. She called back and we talked on the phone for a good 20 minutes. That's long for Debbie. She's no nonsense and to the point. She assured me she has plenty of bird seed and books. We spent the rest of the time gossiping about neighbors. It almost felt normal.

Tonight we'll have another family dinner. Maybe tacos. We'll likely play another game. Start a puzzle. Maybe we'll watch a  movie. Definitely no Zombie Apocalypse films though. Not Groundhog Day either.

I'm trying hard to find the silver lining. Bad times often bring out the best in us if we resist the strong urge to hunker down and shut the world out. I'm not proposing we organize flash mobs in the streets, just that we reach out to those who may be alone or in need and give what we can. Just that we keep in touch with loved ones, say thank you to the people who are still working when they too are facing so much uncertainty, check in on elderly neighbors and pray for hope.

Another Day

I'm having chocolate cake for breakfast again. That's either the sign of very good or very bad times. No need for explanations. I hit the snooze between 7:30 and 8:30 instead of getting up for a walk. Then when I finally got up, I quick made the bed so I couldn't crawl back in. There is a part of me that dreams of sleeping until this is all a memory. That's the small, cowardly, faint-hearted part of me.

I was greeted by the smell of coffee when I came downstairs ready for work. Mike made me a cup. It was my first smile of the day. He was already on the phone with clients in the kitchen, his new office. The kids were still sleeping. Tigger is very happy to have a full house of his peeps. Another part of me wishes I were a cat right now. That's the delicate, timorous, agoraphobic part of me.

Ted didn't get home until the wee hours last night. It is his spring break though. He was at a friend's house with a small group. I'll find out how small tonight. He returned from Door County yesterday and it turned out to be the perfect place to spring break this year. It was deserted. They hiked, ate out, watched movies. He went straight to the club for his last workout for awhile. They're closed starting today. He has plans to run and bike. He will not be going back to Madison. The rest of the semester will be online. No spring afternoons on the Terrace. No Frisbee in the quad. No runs along Lake Mendota. This year.

Lily finished her work yesterday and then walked over to a friend's. They played softball and soccer. She called it gym class. She was not happy about school closing, but she admitted that it's not as bad as she thought it'd be. She's still feeling sad for juniors missing prom and seniors who may not walk in graduation. At this point there is so much uncertainty, but I'm hoping that we'll begin to see the forest through the trees soon.

Soon has taken on a new meaning when every day feels endless. It's fascinating to me that most people fantasize about two weeks with nothing to do, and now here we are. Yes, here we are completely at odds with ourselves and our fellow quarantinees. Isn't it ironic? I have a stack of books, but I have a monkey mind. I can't focus. I have a million projects waiting for me around the house, but zero ambition. Limbo is such a strange place to inhabit.

And yet we keep on keeping on. Teddy is finishing up his business school application, Lily is working on her NHS application as well as one for a summer job, Mike is trouble shooting with his dealers and I actually scored some hand sanitizer for the TODAY show this morning. It's the only thing my customers want to buy and, of course, it's in short supply. Mike made a perfect corn beef for our St Paddy's Day dinner last night and then we watched a bad horror film on Netflix. It almost seemed like a normal night at Casa Wags. Almost. 

New Normal. Old Hope.

I almost lost my words when I read my last entry here written a little over a week ago. It was so normal, simple, hopeful. It stuns me how quickly things can change. Last week I was planning parties. This week I'm planning for quarantine. Life right now feels a little surreal. I'm struggling with a new normal and with having hope just like everyone else in the world.

I steered clear of the news this weekend and that alleviated a great deal of my anxiety, but I knew relief was temporary. I'm a news enthusiast. It was only a matter of time before I tuned in. Last night as a matter of fact. I also knew when I returned, the coverage wouldn't be uplifting or calming. No, it's downright scary on so many different levels.

This is a lifetime event. We will define things before and after. There will be an after. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but there will be life after this virus. Good, prosperous, happy life.

I'm reminded of the unfamiliar, anxious time post 911. It was inconceivable that we would ever recover. It seemed impossible that we would laugh and smile and trust and travel. I couldn't fathom feeling safe ever again. I felt crushing sadness for this country, the staggering loss of lives and the lost innocence for our children.

Teddy was 9 months old when those planes were used as lethal weapons. The day after the attack, I was home with him. It was a beautiful day. The sky was the most pristine shade of blue. It was the color of hope if ever there was one, but I couldn't look up without feeling despair. When I visited the 911 Museum with Lily a couple years ago, the exhibit that had the most impact on me was Trying to Remember the Color of the Sky on That September Morning. The 2,983 squares of blue, one for each victim, took my breath away. Standing there looking at the central wall, I remembered the sky on that day. I mourned the toll that 911 took on our country, but I also felt incredible pride for our people. The strength and courage and tenacity. The tenderness, togetherness and troth.

I'm finding comfort in remembering those feelings of dignity and honor, in reminding myself that we will bounce back stronger than before and that life will likely be a little different, but it will still be good and always precious.

I'm finding comfort in spending time in my kitchen listening to music instead of the news. Mike and I made quite a feast for our Saturday night soiree. Our Reuben egg rolls were ridiculously delish and much easier than I anticipated. Our Irish Stew was a hit and the mashed potatoes were gone. The Chocolate Stout Cake is almost gone. Alan and I had pieces with our coffee this morning and it was the perfect St Paddy's Day treat. It's the gift that keeps giving. Unfortunately, my dad and Judy decided to stay home, but I think it was the smart thing to do. Sunday Mike and Lily did a surprise visit to drop off Judy's gifts and leftovers for dinner that night. They were so happy for the act of kindness and these are exactly the times we should be practicing them. The world needs every little act of good will and grace we can offer right now.

While they were out playing Santa and Mrs. Claus, I started stock for Chicken Soup, got a batch of bread dough proofing and whipped up a batch of Strawberry Cream Cupcakes for Linda's birthday celebration the next day. It was my first time making these fresh cuties, but it won't be my last. They were insanely yummy. And the bowl of homemade soup with a hunk of warm bread was the perfect comfort food for the times that night. Alan and I will be having that for lunch today too. We're holding down the fort at work without too much to do, but this too shall pass.

I'm finding comfort in spending time with family and friends. We hung out on Friday night with a small group of friends and while there was talk of the virus, it was only one topic of the evening. The guys went out to pick up fish fries at a local restaurant and came back saying it was hopping. Less than a week later, they're mostly shuttered. It's the right thing to do. Our kids were all out. Is that the right thing to do? Time will tell. All I know is that I felt less isolated and pessimistic after being with other people. We'll continue to allow for small gatherings in non-public spaces until we are told otherwise.

I stopped at the store yesterday out of curiosity and also to pick up a few things I needed...mainly baking supplies after my weekend of cake making. I succeeded and I also came home with a few things I probably didn't need, but I am only so strong. I left the Kleenex and TP for those who really need them. I would have bought chicken if they had it. Oh well, these are times for making do and what we are facing day to day are small sacrifices in this family. I have to say that shopping made me feel better. People were respectful and calm. No one was hoarding or hysterical. I felt thankful for the cashiers. They are in public facing positions and they are taking risks when they come to work. I felt worried for the number of elderly people who were out and about when they should be home. I wanted to take their numbers and offer to do their shopping until the coast is clear. I didn't, but I will reach out to neighbors who I know to be at high risk. Every little bit helps.

It's hard not to be all about ourselves right now. During threatening times, our worlds shrink. We worry about our needs, our loved ones, our trials, but the truth is that by reaching out in whatever way we are comfortable, we dispel a little bit of doubt and despair. We give, we receive. Kindness begets kindness. Good deeds inspire more good deeds. Consideration incites hope and faith. These are the things the world needs right now. Spread love not fear. Be the light. Don't give in to the darkness. 

This Week

Have you noticed the bird's are singing their spring songs? Don't they sound happy? Hopeful? We are actually enjoying a spring in these parts, but I won't be the least bit surprised when it snows again. When not if. The squirrels have been extra frisky out in the yard too. When I see a chipmunk, I'll finally believe it. We set the clocks forward tonight, which is a major undertaking in this house with a wall of clocks, but I've already been aware of the growing hours of daylight. And it's not just that there's more of it. It's that it's different. It's vivid. Ardent. A tad bit of an assault to the unaccustomed eye. 

Yesterday we decided to work a half day. It was quiet and we were caught up. The sudden free hours before me had me temporarily paralyzed with all the possibilities. What to do? Where to go? I opted to do some shopping and then I did some sprucing. I found the exact rug I wanted for the kitchen and new lamps for the dining room too. Then I put away what was left of my winter decor and I poured a glass of crisp white wine in celebration of the return to light, the weekend, the end of a stressful week.

I had another dental appointment and a doctor appointment too. That made for a long week of anxious anticipation. This round of dental work went better, and yet I was uncomfortable. I woke Thursday morning in Teddy's bed and I noticed straight away that my mouth wasn't as sore as when I sulked in there unable to sleep the night before. The alleviated pain was a small miracle because all night I dreamt of drilling. No wonder given my 2 1/2 hour stint in the chair earlier in the day. Add that to the 4 hours a few weeks ago and what you get is more dental work in the past 3 weeks than I've had in the past decade. And thousands of dollars spent even with insurance. That's a different kind of pain. Anyways that's almost behind me now.

I finished Olive, Again. This novel, just like the first, is comprised of one rich character study after another. The most generous of which is the title character's. She's a character you either love or loathe. I happen to love her mostly for her brutal honesty and her constant pragmatism. And she makes me laugh. She also makes me question myself. I read...I pause. This line from Helped stayed with me. It's so beautifully true.

I think our job – maybe even our duty – is to bear the burden

 of the mystery with as much grace as we can.

Now I'm keeping time with The Heart's Invisible Furies. Boyne's novel is wildly entertaining and smartly written. I've laughed out-loud. A lot. I've blushed. Often. I'm getting strong Goldfinch vibes and that was one of my all-time best reads. I still have 400 odd pages to go so it's too soon to commit to a must-read review, but I think that's where we're headed.

I have Sam Sifton's See You on Sunday on order from the library. Sunday dinner has a special place in my heart. When I was a kid, we went to my Grandma Rosie's most Sundays. She didn't have a dining room so we'd crowd around her kitchen table all together. Nothing fancy. That wasn't the point. After dinner, my dad would take us across town back to my mom's for the week. My mom revived Sunday dinners when we were young adults. We'd be busy with friends all weekend, but Sundays were for family. We'd gather on her deck or in her dining room and linger. I'd give just about anything for one of her pork roasts or her chicken and broccoli casserole. I'd give anything to see that twinkle in her eye so happy, so proud, so blessed. After my mom passed, we kept Sunday dinner going with my brother and sil, but it's peetered out. There were often practices or games and homework left to the last minute. And yet is has always been a thing here at Casa Wags. The one night we were all certain to be home for dinner. I'm hoping to start tomorrow. It's going to be a beautiful 60 degrees and bbq chicken is on the menu. Anyways, this quote pretty much sums up my philosophy and has me certain I'm going to be buying this book.

Word got around. And the calls or texts would start coming. "There dinner on Sunday?" Yes, see you then. Bring wine or a cake, a friend, some flowers, nothing at all. People are lonely. They want to be a part of something, even when they can't identify that longing as a need. They show up. Feed them. It isn't more complicated than that. The point of Sunday dinner is just to have it. Even if you don't particularly like entertaining, there is pleasure to be had in cooking for others, and great pleasure to be taken from the    experience of gathering with others. Sunday dinner isn't a dinner party. It is not entertainment. It is just fact, like a standing meeting or a regular touch football game in the park. It makes life a little better every time.

We lived on a hearty and never-ending pot of Pasta Fagioli all week. I wasn't inspired to cook so it was a delicious Godsend. Then Thursday I put together a Chicken Kiev dish. I was feeling nostalgic and truth be told, I'm a little bored with chicken, but it's the only meat Lily will eat. I thought I'd be able to chew with some drugs. A glass of wine. Okay, both. Mike and I decided that if we're in the mood for a throwback stuffed chicken recipe, we'll stick with Chicken Cordon Bleu. 

I'm starting to plan for next weekend's Feb/March St Paddy's Day birthday bash. We'll celebrate Ashley, Judy and Brad. And our Irish heritage.  I'm excited to give them their gifts. I put serious thought into them this year. I have my menu set, and I'm looking forward to that too. Especially the Chocolate Stout Cake. Ted will be home. It's the start of his spring break. He's going on a quick trip to Door County where he's rented a house with some friends. I chuckle a little that a group of guys would want to go to the quaint peninsula, but only just a little. I know he has fond memories from our many visits there over the years and it's somewhere other than home. His classes end May 1. That seems so early to me. It will be nice to have him home for the summer and it may be the last, at least for awhile.

Lily is getting ready for softball. Anxious to start driving. Poor girl has to wait until August, but she's practicing every chance she gets. Twice this week I was suckered into an end of day Starbucks run. I'm not sure whether she wanted the mocchiatto or the time behind the wheel more. It's no surprise that she's a natural. Last night she was picked up at 9 o'clock by a girlfriend. I think that's usually when I was coming home. Yes, times are changing and yes, she's growing up. Sigh.

Speaking of times, I steered clear of the news this week. I cannot stomach the topsy turvy market, the media frenzy over the virus, the carnage in TN, the clowns running for office. I tell you I'm understanding the idea that ignorance is bliss on a new level.  Sometimes it's all just too much. Yet I'll continue to pray and do my part to make the world a better place.

My peeps are still fast asleep. Today I'll take a long walk in the park less visited, we'll go to church and dinner. Lily's choice. In my little life,  there is peace and grace and goodness and for that I am always grateful. I'm just going to keep listening to the birds until I feel the rosiness about which they sing.