This Week

Wednesday is my least favorite day. I'm ready for the weekend, but smack dab in the middle of the week. That being said at this time and place in my life, I don't find myself longing for the weekend very often. This week I am.

I think this has everything to do with my lack of chi right now. I feel like I'm spinning my wheels. I need to get centered, to find balance, to quiet my mind. I need to exercise. That's what's missing. 

Another piece of my zen puzzle is reading and that's something that's been absent from my life for way too long. I picked up a book I started at Webb Lake last summer that I haven't touched in the 12 months since that vacation. Tom Lake was still familiar. That fact is proof that Ann Patchett is a character artist. I will finish it before the end of this summer in a few days. Then I'm going back to finish the book I started in Mexico earlier this year. I've got a nice stack of almost reads piled on my bedside table that could take me through the end of the year.

I can attest that getting my groove back in the kitchen has been a good thing. With Teddy home, I up my game because he is maybe the most appreciative and voracious eater in the house. He can and does cook for himself and sometimes us, but I love to cook for him. This week's wins were potato chip chicken fingers, croquet  madam pizza and smashburger tacos.

This is a tricky week for me. My Mom's birthday is Saturday and while I feel somewhat at peace with her passing, I am still sad. It's not paralyzing or debilitating. It's like a constant ringing in my ears. It's distracting and I want it to go away. I know now that it never will and many of you know that too. It just is. It is what it is. It's a marker of time passing, seasons changing and life marching onward in spite of missing parts. Missing, but not forgotten.

This week is also a bit of a reset for me especially in the years since my mom's untimely death. It's not just the back to school and the change in seasons...it's the before and after. It's more a point of reflection for me than my birthday or the start of the new year.

I did an illuminating exercise in my 20s that prompted me to define the pivotal, defining events in my life. The first was my parent's divorce when I was four. There were about seven. I'd say thirty years later there are no less than twenty. Losing my mom was a big one.

This week I'm going to be kind to myself. I'm going to lean into vulnerability and let myself wallow a bit, but I'm also going to look for the everyday joy moments and remember to say thank you for this life that is full of much more light than darkness. More love than loathe, more laughter than tears, more tribulation than trial. And I'm going to do so remembering the woman who gave me this life. What a gift...life...her. My Mom.

Last Night

So these end of summer days feel like the dog days. It's hot hot hot and I'm craving not hot. It's confusing when the street lined with maples I drive down every day looks like fall. The tippy tops are turning claret red and slowly and then all at once the trees will be flaming, but I'm still sweating.

I bought ingredients to make a big pot of chili this week. Instead Mike is going to make a crock of taco meat for salads. It is not soup weather here yet.

That being said, the evenings have been perfect. Last night we sat outside for a drink after dark and it was lovely. We were downtown to see Tucker Carlson with RFK Jr and Larry Elder. After all the ideas, we had to process, chat, chill. When Tucker said he decided to do this tour because live speech is the only free speech, it rang true in a very uncomfortable way. Everything I know about the Fourth Estate supports what he said. He also pointed out that there is no such thing as misinformation. There is the truth and then there are lies. Yeah and then there's rhetoric aka propaganda. 

Larry Elder spoke on the dangerous predilection to pin all of our nation's problems on systematic racism and RFK Jr put big pharma on the hot seat and not just for Covid, but for all of the ways that it behooves them to keep us unhealthy.

Enough on that except to say that it was actually an uplifting evening spent with like minded patriots. In real life, I keep my political values mostly under wraps because I have to. I have a decades old friend who once said to me that she could never be friends with a conservative. She told me as a consort in confidence unaware of my leanings, but it's stayed with me for years. My lovely neighbor was bloviating about things I disagree with and I just smiled. I was at a dinner party recently where people were celebrating the attempted assassination of a former president. I stayed quiet. I share this because I think there are a lot of people just like me and that gives me hope.

Hope that someday I will be able to stand up for my beliefs without the fear of cancellation or retribution.

Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

I just got off the phone with Lils. She's having her first "normal" weekend in a long time. No training. Just fun.

Tomorrow she'll be at the Badger game.
 

Mike will be cheering on the team at Camp Randall too.

First day of Junior year.

Next semester, these ladies will be sending me first day pictures from Barcelona.

I'm off today and I have zero plans for the weekend. I'm ridiculously happy about that.

Tickets to see Tucker and RFK Jr on Monday.

This little goof ball.

 

And this sweet love bug.

Trailing rosemary.

A pop of color.

Meryl anchored the news this week and she was a boss.

Ted is back from Orlando. He met lots of colleagues and had some fun too. He was wined, dined and entertained. And it's no surprise that he made the wrap-up video. 

 

The last days of summer before my best stretch of months. It's warm during the day and cool at night. 

 

A stop at the orchard to stock up on Ginger Golds.

IM Weekending

 Lily W you are an IM.

This weekend was all about Lily attaining the goal she set for herself one year ago. A goal she trained for with fierce dedication both physically and mentally. I had faith she would complete the race, but I was not expecting her to do it with a smile on her face all the way to the finish line. I was a proud mama, but more than that I was beyond happy for her because I could imagine the way she felt after doing such epic shit. My adrenaline was on overdrive and I only did 10 miles. It was my privilege to support her from the sidelines. We did our best to cheer her on along the 70.3 mile route. Our best was pretty good too. We managed to see her at least 10 times. The support she had along the way was responsible for the beast attitude she owned. I hope she never forgets that feeling. I also hope she never forgets how loyal her tribe is. Fam and friends showed up.

It was a beautiful and bustling weekend in Madison. There was a lot going on in the city and that only added to the excitement. After getting her gear to the Terrace and checking out the welcome reception, we met the fam for a carb loading pizza dinner at Lucille's on the square. It was an early night for most of us save for Meryl and Ted who are young and can burn the candle at both ends.

It was a very early morning...earliest for Lils. Chilly too. In the 40's. But the sun came up like a loadstone rock. She had nerves. We all had nerves, but once she got into the 71 degree water it was game on and race on.

My phone died halfway through the race and it wasn't a bad thing because it forced me to stay in the moment instead of trying to capture it for later. Amongst us we got some great pictures and there were photographers all along the course as well. 

This will do for now.

 

 

 

 

Flip of the Switch

It might be September, but we still have several weeks of summer ahead. Temperatures aside, my state of mind is already changing. It's back to school for Lily and back to life and reality for the rest of us. We moved her into her new place Friday and she attended her first football game that night. Classes start Wednesday. Ted starts his job on Friday. He is finally unpacked at my insistence after being home all summer.

The White Whale made it's final voyage packed to the gills. We're retiring her. The move went smoothly and we left Lily unpacked in her adorable new apartment. Think green and gray. She's working on being a minimalist, and I'd say she made baby steps in that direction. She lobbied unsuccessfully for Gus, but I cannot blame a girl for trying.

 

Saturday we shopped at Glorioso's for Ted and Meryl's Pasta Dinner and then made a coffee stop at Collectivo to fuel them up for their afternoon of chefing with Frank crooning in the background. It was THE most beautiful day and it was a FUN night. They had a big pot of sauce simmering away on the stove and they made enough dough that we each got our own piece to knead and then turn into noodles. I was impressed by their skills and the outcome. We ended up with a smaller than expected group, but a full table nonetheless. We sat around the table long enough to make room for dessert. And to finish our dago red...open another. We went through a Lambrusco, a Montepulciano, a Sangiovese and a Chianti. Teryl absolutely nailed the tiramisu, but everyone especially enjoyed the macerated berries and cream for the light ending they delivered. I love a dinner party, that my kids can and love to cook and they value the art of breaking bread.

I was inspired by their lovely dinner to make a breakfast pizza for Sunday brunch. It is definitely a make again and often.

The rest of the weekend was rather low-key by choice. In between episodes of The Bear, I organized the mess that is the basement as best I could, napped, started to make Sunday gravy, but Mike took over and it was another delicious comfort meal. He simmered it all day with his seared ribs until they were fall off the bone and we made some more pasta. I generally just took it easy. I tried not to feel too guilty because this weekend will be another full stretch of days. Good and full stretch of days.