Happy and Grateful

Every day this week, I've been meaning to check in here and recount the lovely, restorative weekend we had with Lily...her first official weekend home from college. And every day, I've failed to do so. I've been a bit preoccupied: busy at work, getting ready for NYC, trying to fit in as many fall walks as possible. The week started out chilly, but the heat is off and some windows are open today much to the delight of the Tres Amigos. It's peak color here this weekend so our drive to Madison should be showy.

We are going for Homecoming and our anniversary. Twenty-seven happy years today, and in fact we'll be meeting up with some friends we haven't seen in about that long. I think our official celebration will be when we finally fit in that weekend in Chicago we've been talking about since spring. This weekend will be about the Badgers, tailgating and reconnecting with old friends and our kids and their tribes. All good. We met at our alma mater 35 years ago so it's a fitting and special place to be.

I have lists from both Teddy and Lily on what to bring. They will both be bummed that I cannot fulfill the Gus line item. Anyways last night he was a bunny, not a Badger. Ferocity is just not his style.

Next week I leave for NYC. I have a bit of anxiety over the trip, but I'll deal. The older I get, the less adept I am at handling unknowns. And yet, deep down I know that it will be good for me in many ways.

Today I'm just focusing on feeling happy and grateful for my marriage, my family, my life and October, which is my muse. It was a treat to have Lily home to share some of our fall favorites like apple picking, trail walking and scary movie nights. She's been nursing a cold so it was perfect timing for her to sleep late in her own bed, cozy in for some kitty time, and get some nourishing home cooking. We hosted an impromptu brunch on Sunday and I planned the menu around her favorites: Caesar Salad, a Margherita Frittata and fresh baked peasant bread. Family. She texted upon departing the bus back on campus Monday morning that she felt so much improved.

 

Home has a way of making everything better.

 

Grateful Friday

Today I give thanks for...

Lils is coming home for the whole weekend. I can't wait to spend time with her and pamper her. It's going to be a good weekend for apple picking and scary movie watching and pumpkin carving.

The change in weather has the cats being so snuggly. They are curling up on laps, sleeping in piles and seeking out the sun spots.

 

 Fall colors. There is a row of maples a street long that I drive by every day. It's a wonder how they are changing so symmetrically and seemingly overnight.

Sweater vests.

Political debates even when they're cringy and biased.

Kids who understand the importance of their vote. Ted's filled out his ballot and Lily will this weekend.

I'm almost finished with Notes on an Execution. It's been with me for at least a month. I have been reading at night when I'm half asleep so it's been a lot of rereading It is well written and compelling and has me thinking about what I will read next.

We're about to pull the plug on Zihuatanejo in January. It seems like a terrible time to travel: two kids in college, 3 apartments and a mortgage, a free falling stock market, the brazenness of the Mexican cartels. So I'm betwixt and between YOLO and guilt and fear. Mike is all in.

 

My husband who never buys anything came home with this last week.

 

 

Cats in costume.

 

 

weekending

Over the weekend, I got a text from Lily reminding me that we were in NYC 5 years ago. It was a girl's trip in celebration of a milestone birthday...13. She was so excited to experience the Big Apple and we had a lot of fun being co-travelers. I love NY, but these days Northern Wisconsin is more my speed. I blame this on Covid, my age and the chaotic, crime-ridden world we live in.

 As it happens, I will be going to the city in a couple weeks for work. There are things I'm looking forward to and things I am not. It's a wonderful opportunity for me and that is the focus. Linda is a frequent visitor so I will let her play tour guide. She forgets that I have been to NY many times. I say that with humor. There are so many New Yorks. This will be her version...Jewish delis, a show or two, walks in the Park. I'm pretty sure that I will be able to write a novel about this trip. A novel that could be a best seller.

Just as I was looking forward to finally settling in for fall...me and Mike the empty nesters, life has not cooperated. I'm not complaining. I'm commenting.

It was a beautiful weekend. A good one too. We did some yard work and took a trail walk on Saturday before hosting friends for dinner. Mike made ribs in a final homage to bbq and we picked up some more of the best sweet corn we've had all year from a nearby farm stand. I think the star of the meal was the ice cream parfaits I made  assembled for dessert. We felt like kids licking our mason jars clean.

Sunday I was up just in time to let Teddy in. He came home for a surprise visit. Turns out he had a date. I'm thinking she must be pretty special if he drove 90 miles for coffee and a hike. The timing was perfect because I was baking for care packages. I loaded him up with instructions to deliver his sister's ASAP. She may come home next weekend for a visit.

My brother and sister-in-law stopped by for an end of weekend happy hour and I sent them home with dinner too. I had made a full to the brim pot of Pasta Fagioli earlier so it was perfect. After they left, we got cozy under afghans and cats for a movie. The patio door was ajar letting the crisp night air in. It was a good stretch of days., and I'm off to a strong start this week.

 

Sweet and Precious Life

It's definitely fall here. The poults are as big as their mothers now, the trees are showier by the day and there is a chill in the air this morning that reminds us what is to come. Yesterday it was warm. Almost hot in the sun and it will be windows open weather again soon. The progression between seasons is never linear. It occurs to me that so often I begin my posts with a report of the current conditions. It speaks to the fact that I am sensitive to the weather. What is going on outside affects me inside. Everything about fall is my favorite though. October galvanizes each one of my senses.

After a rough stretch in my world and a heavy stretch in the wide world, I felt myself retreat. I craved quiet, absence, anonymity. I buttoned up and battened down. It was just what I needed. I'm getting so much better at giving myself grace.

We said goodbye to my father-in-law a week ago on a perfect autumn day. The service was curative and my brother-in-law's homily a true tribute to a cup is over flowing life. The pictures of the span of his life captured him too. And I learned something. My husband actually resembles his father as a young man. I have always thought he takes after his mother's side, but I saw that he is a mixture of both. Aren't we all? And I got comment after comment about how Teddy was unrecognizable...even to his own cousins who haven't seen him since Christmas. He's taller, broader, and sporting some facial hair. Many comments too about how beautiful Lily is and also all grown up. It's been Covid years since I've seen some of the extended family and in spite of the reason for the gathering, it was good to see them, hug them, catch up.

It occurred to me that this is the first funeral my kids are attending as young adults. When my mom passed, they were 4 and 7...too young to truly comprehend and remember. Your grandparents go and you start thinking about your parents. Your parents pass and you grapple with your own mortality. I hear Mary Oliver...Are you paying homage to that one wild and precious life, or are you breathing just a little and calling it a life? 

I guess it depends on the day, but losing a loved one makes me take stock of everything and everyone.

Emily Dickinson was right...That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet.