Dear God

 

It happened again today. That wave of nostalgia. It was the exact same spot in my morning commute but a different Eric Church song was playing. I thought I passed my brother on the road. I meant to call him last night. Meant to, but did not. He usually is the one to call, but it occurred to me the other day that he might like me to reach out from time to time. In fairness, I stopped calling him because he doesn't answer his phone or listen to his messages.

I'm in this place of missing people who are here. I'm not exactly sure what that means, but it feels heavy. I know it's part of where I am...the middle place. Family dynamics are changing and it's causing me to reflect on what's important, how I want to spend my time, show up and show I care. I hate that my parents live an hour away and that my aunt and uncle are moving over a thousand miles away. I'm pretty sure that at some point in the foreseeable future Ted will be a plane ride away as well. This week he leaves for Portugal. It will be my first Easter without my son in 22 years.

I wrote this Tuesday and never hit publish. I thought I had more to say. I do. My brother and sil stopped by last night and we caught up. I shared how I've been feeling. He's been feeling the same way. There are so many ways we differ, but not in the way we value family. We are a small, but mighty tribe. Fierce.

I think that's why we both have friends who are extensions of our family and that brings me to what is weighing on me today. Our oldest friends' eldest daughter is in the hospital after suffering a stroke. She's in a hospital in London where she's studying abroad. On Saturday, we admired the pictures they took on a recent trip to see her. Yesterday, we got news that they were back in London at her bedside. I cannot even fathom what they are going through. It is every parent's worst nightmare. I wish I could do more than pray even as I know how powerful it is. If you read this, please say one for Hannah.

And cherish your blessings. Say I'm sorry when warranted and I love you as much as possible. Forgive freely, express thanks graciously, touch hearts deeply, lend a hand or an ear without hesitation. Spread kindness, seek goodness and savor every single moment. You know why.